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  • #130538
    Sarah Shadowspawn

    Transgender. The word itself conjures up a foul distaste. It goes against everything I was taught; Biblically, socially, morally. The very idea disgusts me. Yet here I am.

    1 user thanked author for this post.
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    • #130727
      DeeAnn Hopings


      I grew up in the Presbyterian faith and held church offices in 2 of the 4 cities where I have lived. I have been unchurched for a number of years now, not because of any conflict over being transgender, but due to the slowness of the Church regarding the inclusion of LGBT folks. That happened long before I realized what my gender identity truly is. We are not the ones to judge. It is not, and will never be, appropriate. That is something that we have no business doing, yet we do.

      6 or 7 tears ago there was an open letter put out by 9 folks who were founders and leaders of various “pray the gay away” organizations. They had left or shut down their organizations. What they stated was that they had come to realize that they had caused more harm than good. Many who came to seek help left in worse mental shape than they began. The leaders realized that sexual orientation and gender identity were innate and that any attempt to change that resulted in severe issues for people. The unfortunate part is that it took a while for folks to come to that conclusion, but good that they did.

      There is great complexity regarding the function of the human mind. We don’t understand why we like chocolate ice cream over strawberry, so it is pointless to say that we “know” about sexuality and gender identity. We just have not studied either topic enough to say. Problem being that conservatives will fight any such research expenditures due to the high probability that their prejudices will have no basis in fact.

      Basically, there is no point to beat yourself up over something that you cannot control and that is the simple truth.

      So, thanks for putting a lot of effort into your Profile page. It really helps others understand how things sit for you and what may be difficult. The page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time.

      Also, if you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

    • #130654

      I was born into a catholic and more traditional family so from a young age knowing I was ‘queer’ in some ways I knew my family would never accept me. Leads to lots of depression and suicidal thought. Took me a long time and going through different phases until I realized I shouldn’t need to be ashamed for who I am and judge myself based on other people’s religious dogma or bigotry.

    • #130651

      Hi Sarah, I’m so sorry you are so conflicted. It’s not a sickness or something detestable – or at leaswt it shouldn’t be. Medical experts have now found there are many moving parts in how our genetic codes are formed during gestation. Hormones may or may not fire properly leaving someone physically one sex, but mentally and emotionally another. Or neither. Then there are people who are intersexed, but not always apparent externally.

      It’s all an infinite continum of pre-birth development and life experiences. The sad thing is society, religion, and other stigmatizing influences keep us from knowing, accepting, and expressing who we really are. If you haven’t done so yet, please meet with a therapist or counselor experienced with LGBTQIA+ clients. They won’t sway you, but will help you to know how you feel inside and allow you to make decisions based on that knowledge.

      If you are religious, you must stop doing what I did for decades, believeing you are not loved and accepted by God. We are! We have been misled by bad translations and worse interpretations by (maybe?) well-meaning religious leaders who have their own inherent biases. Don’t believe what they say about the LGBTQIA+ community because they are just flat-out WRONG!

      I hope you can find your safe spaces – know that this site is probably the safest one there is. We all love yoiu and affirm you. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. We’ve all been there.

      Lots of Hugs,


    • #130543
      Miss Cloé

      I went through that too, Sarah.  I was even a deacon.  I fought it for 25 years after figuring it out in an effort to pray it away.  You can’t fight your truth.


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