New member from NYC.

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  • #91509
    Jackson Raj
    Participant

    Hi,

    Just found this site while searching for anything related to FTM in NYC. I began my transition (female to male) 17 years ago and since 2008 I’ve considered it complete. I’ve been mainly mingling with cis people my entire life and have never really found a convenient place to talk to or meet other trans folk. This seems like it might be what I’m looking for.

    I’m open to meeting new FTM/MTF friends….especially in the NYC area.

    Hope everyone is doing well 🙂

     

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    • #91517
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Jackson:

      Happy that you found us and I hope that your expectations become reality!

      “Coming to the realization that we can live and present as our desired gender and still accept our past as a gift and not as a hindrance.”

      This passage from your profile is very interesting. Sadly, many trans people do separate themselves from their previous lives. It suggests to me that there is essentially nothing of their lives that they wish to bring forward. It is painful to hear that as, effectively, it removes that part of ones life.

      Be sure to check out the F>M Forum and Chatroom!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #91544

        Thanks for your welcoming message 🙂

        Yes, everyone’s always focused on the goal…the aftermath and being able to just live as the chosen gender. But for me there was a reckoning once that happened. I still had to face who I was/am inside myself for myself. I’ve finally come full circle and can embrace all of me and not just the end “result”. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s actually very profound when you really think of what it means.

        Glad that trans has so much more visibility and recognition now. Yes, there is a long way to go, but with so many stories out there, it definitely helps us look past just the physical transition and delve into the whole meaning of being trans and what it means for us each individually.

         

        • #91545
          DeeAnn Hopings
          AMBASSADOR

          While the physical and emotional parts of transition are certainly important, it is also true that we must learn to navigate the world from a very different perspective. Women are socialized very differently from men and it shows in how they interact with one another and in groups. Without having the years of growing up female, it is something that we have to learn and figure out…

          • #91548

            Exactly. And it’s also a different perspective for a person that grew up female to then navigate the world in a male role. The insights we have from having the experience of the opposite gender in our early years is something we should see as a positive and not a negative. Not many people get that insight but we do. That’s how I see it. Of course for anyone unable to live as their chosen gender, then I completely understand why they would not see this as a positive. It’s such a tricky subject.

          • #91549
            DeeAnn Hopings
            AMBASSADOR

            Yes, it is a similar process in both directions. For me, it was an unexpected revelation to see sexism from both sides. Very enlightening…

    • #91510

      Hi Jackson it wsas nice to hesr from you youre story sounds similar to my own experience. I am 59, my transition ftm began in 2002 dnd i too have lived my life surrounded by cis people. I have been married for 32 years to a wonderful woman who identifies herself as a lesbian. She is very supportive of me though we do have some problems relating to my change. Ive been fully intergrsted as a man in my small rural community since moving here in 2002. No one knows about me except for my doctors. I live in northern Ontario Canada. When i first came out as a lesbian in my early 20s i hung out in Buffalo and Niagara Falls NY. I knew by the age of 16 i would eventually change just didnt know how to go about it. As a very young child i acted out as a boy, wearing my brothrers clothes and pretending to shave with my fathers razor to my mothers shock. I always found i was attracted to ultra femimine women mainly out of reach cis women lol. My wife was living with a man and had never met or been attracted to a lesbian befoe me. I tòo joined this site to meet other ftm trans folk ss well as mtf trans women. Ive never even talked to another trans person. Especially another ftm so i was happy to see your post hopefully we will find some things in common to talk about. I look forward to seeing your posts.

      • #91546

        Hi Zachary,

        Yes, same here about the type of women I’m interested in. It’s also very difficult (except for anonymous forums like these) to find other FTMs and MTFs that are just assimilated into cis culture because I guess many don’t want to be “outed” unnecessarily except to people they choose. I understand it of course, I’m the same. Now all of my close friends know and they embrace it (fortunately for me) but they’re all cis except for one FTM….which I met on an online forum lol.

        How is the situation in your area of Canada? You said it’s a small rural community so I assume it’s not really something people are open about there?

        • #91553

          People are quite close minded had a few bad experiences with people who couldnt figure me òut i am A little flamboyant i wear alot of black and many silver rings and chains and piercings i have long hair too i am very thin and somewhat frail as ive hadsome health problems so people dont know quite how to take me. My wife is a consumate hippy 9 years older than me so we make quite the pair. I just operate with the motto Why be normal… i enjoy and embrace being different. We live 4 hrs north of Toronto so have not had the occasion to meet other trans people. My fsmily didnt accept us at first but now some are coming around. I have always dressed masculine since a small child never wore female clothing or makeup so never had to change anything that way. Always wore suits to family functions weddings and funerals and such so the only visible change was beard growth. I always was attracted to ultra fem women which got me into sone trouble as straight women did not take to well to my overtures. The health care system here us great and they know me well as i have a chronic condition that requires frequent visits to the hospital but the genersl pop just see me as that eccentric old man Zach. We hsve a few lesbian couples in our life but thry live in BC so we only face time. There are a few gay men in town but we havent met them yet. Just heard rumors not very pleasant talk so i hesitate coming out as a transman. My church pastor and wife do know and are okay but we have had a couple of parishioners turn on us so we definitely dont tell others there. We are not overly religious but do have a faith i dont believe in pushing it on others unless they ask me to explain. We both really want to tslk to othrr trans about life in general so im glad we have opened this line of communication. Do you live in NYC ir NY state? We would love to see NY but cant travel far for health reasons. Im a real big foodie cooking and baking is my passion. My wife us really into gardening indoors and out. Id reslly like to hear your story.

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