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Im new to the online world but not to this lifestyle. OMG its hard to begin. I guess at the start lol.
I recall as a young child I was so envious of older sister, she could wear all these great clothes and for me it was jeans and tee shirt or Chinos (it was the style at the time) I recall pixy boots coming into fashion, I loved it, as last something feminine to wear out without stigma.
I am still hiding away here, although I have a daughter who is a total tom boy lol i find it so funny she is desperate to dress like a boy, I cant imagine her face if I ever told her !!
I am divorced 8 years and just parted with a girlfriend of three years who was aware of my dress code and was supportive of this, we would often go clothes shopping with me as the bored boyfriend but inside desperate to have a look for myself .
We went for a walk with me “dressed”, in the dark away from everything, lol I smile as I type this I was so nervous. Now in the winter and the dark nights I’ve started to walk out alone. I passed two people the other day, I almost died, but a voice in my head said “you look like you want to, with hair and makeup in the twilight nobody is going to know” so I passed them without incident.
I know to some of you this is tiny tiny stuff, but for me was a huge thing. As I sit here and type this out I’m in my new outfit with new hair and after yet another youtube tutorial the best make up I’ve ever done and might go out later. I’m trying to make the end of a path. lol.
I run my own business self employed and could never come out to the world as my line of work and skill set would not traverse the change, so I guess I’m stuck here as I have been all my life.
I guess I’m on here to have some release for my way of life that I used to share with my ex but now face alone again. I’m looking forward to chatting with you all and look forward to any reply’s.
Love Rachel x X x
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