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I grew up in a tiny town in a rural area in the 80s. Being gay was a crime against god and being trans meant you were someone who wanted to hurt women. I was so confused. I had no language for why my skin didn’t fit. I was pushed by my mother to be more feminine, so I did. I trained myself to walk and laugh and sit like a lady. I gave up my sense of self.
Here I am with a cishet male partner who loves me and let me know he isn’t going anywhere. I have accepting friends too. But i don’t know a single ftm person.
I hid the truth from myself more than from those close to me, so now that I have admitted this to myself, I’m finding strange changes in my feelings about my body.
Did any of you –
Discover that you disliked your own smell/odor (especially “down there”) once you realized you were trans?
Suddenly realize the reason you hate your chest isn’t because they aren’t perky. It’s because they’re breasts?
Are any of you –
Only socially transitioning?
Only going as far as T?
Thanks for reading.
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