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So I had a really bad fight with my wife the other day. I was having an episode about my physical issues while I was home alone with my daughter which led to my wife coming home to me sobbing on the bed. She’d just had a hard time at the DMV and got upset, telling me I shouldn’t be concentrating on my surgery because it is the last thing that will happen. We fought over various issues for about an hour, leading to her sobbing on one side of the room and me sitting on the other, contemplating what I was about to do. When we resumed fighting, I got up and said I was going to put an end to things.
I then picked up a large knife and tried to walk out the door.
My wife stopped me, and we settled down quickly and had a much more civil conversation.
I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow, and I really want to talk to her about everything that happened, but my wife says that she will have to commit me if I tell her I seriously had a knife in my hand with the intent of harming myself. I can’t afford to lose my job, and if I’m committed for 72 hours I would be over my allotted time off.
And I’m sorry for what anyone thinks of me for sinking that low. I have good days and bad days, and sometimes I’m just so afraid of what the future will bring, and sometimes I can’t stand how this is all affecting my wife, and I don’t know how things can work between us when she is of one mindset and I am of another. And as always I appreciate the support of the people here.
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