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March 31st is “TDOV”, just in case you don’t know what that means, it’s “Trans Day of Visibility”, also known as the International Transgender Day of Visibility. I announced myself at work as being trans MTF a month ago and the response has been absolutely amazing and very emotional. I have never, ever, experienced so much admiration, acknowledgement and affirmation. It has been a very overwhelming but joyful time for me. I have been planning on transitioning at work and have the full support and backing from those in management where I work, so March 31st is going to be “D Day”, the debut of Lauren at the security desk. They want to have a celebration along with my coming out so it is going to be exciting but also scary at the same time… I have been chatting with some other MTF friends where I live and now have a dream for the future forming in my heart. I know I will never be 100% passable and often outed as transgendered so I will run with being openly TG. My overall plan now is to be out and proud, an active supporter and advocate for transgendered people. Life will now be quite an adventure!!! I will keep you all posted
Lauren:
Sounds like things are going well and I’m very happy for you!
Regarding transitioning in place, I suggest that you check out Dr. Margaret Stumpp and Stephanie Battaglino. They both worked for major insurance companies, Prudential and New York Life, respectively, and were the first to transition in place at their companies. There were various articles written about Dr. Stumpp when she transitioned and Battaglino wrote a book a year or so ago: “Reflections from Both Sides of the Glass Ceiling”.
To me, coming out is a great unburdening process. I spoke at an event for International Women’s Day a couple of weeks ago and I discussed that a bit. Every time we come out to someone, it lessens that weight that we carry. Also important is the concept that we get to tell our story, our way. There is no substitute for it because, if we are outed, there is no reason to think that someone else can speak accurately to our truth and our reality.
I often remember quotes and sayings that speak to me. Rachel Maddow said:
“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you’ve just told them.”
Also, there is a line from a song by Des’ree:
“Time’s much too short to be livin’, somebody else’s life
I walk with dignity, I step with pride”In both cases, words to live by, I think…
By the way, as an FYI, transgendered is not current usage. The implication is that something happened to us to make us transgender, which is not true. Also, we don’t say gayed or lesbianed.
Lauren, I wonder if there is a limit as to how many times someone can read a Forum post; because I have read, and re-read yours about a dozen times. And I still can’t find the words to express the joy and amazement I feel; of the joy and amazement you must be feeling. And you better stop that, or your arm is gonna look funny from pinching yourself. Apparently, it is not a dream, because if it was, we could not be replying to your post.
And heck yes, keep us posted on how you are doing. Others will read your post and go, ‘if she can do it, so can I’. Inspire, achieve, rinse, repeat…. Hugs, Michelle
Lauren, the anticipation is killin’ me!
Sooooo, what happened on the 31rst?Please, I do hope it was everything you wished for?
Dee
Hi Dianna, Michelle and Dee Ann,
Ohhh, where do I start, so much has happened and almost all of it is so wonderful I really have to pinch myself in order to believe it is real!! As of March 31st, 2022, I am now working full time as a transgender woman at the security desk of a busy government office. The entire building staff, over 500 people with 95% being womwn, are aware and fully support me and my journey. My signature at work is now “Lauren, She, Her, Hers”.
I have been told by the ladies themselves that “You’re a lady now so use the lady’s room”. I will no longer be allowed in the men’s room. 🙂
All week long prior to the actual day people were telling me they had so much anticipation it was hard to wait. I arrived at work fully dressed and made up as the woman I now am and was greeted with welcoming arms, tears of joy and lots of hugs – nice to have that again after covid! Throughout the day I received congratulating emails, phone calls, lovely cards and wonderful gifts, offers to take me shopping, buy me manicures, had my lunch and coffee paid for. There were transgender flags to hand out to everybody, transgender balloons and so many flowers that it looked like a florist shop at my desk. On the evening prior to the 31st I went in to a local nail salon and had my nails done, gels over my own long nails, two accent nails with the transgender flag colors and the rest done in what she called ‘stiletto red’. WOW, do they ever POP!! To top that off, when she was finished she gave me the biggest hug and told me they were her gift to me!! We both started to cry!
So now I have to get used to applying my full makeup every workday morning, so far I’ve managed to get it done in about 40 minutes and then get dressed. I found an amazing mascara and have decided false lashes are reserved for special occasions and have been moved to the back of the makeup drawer. Still fine tuning foundation/primer and what eyeliner works best. Lip colors are where it’s fun, I have so many now that I can wear a different color for each day of the week! 🙂
My outfit is a pair of black high wasted yoga style pants that fit snug but gently flare below the knees, my white uniform shirt over a pretty camisole, a very nice long black cardigan with pockets and buttons on the cuffs, and so far wearing a pair of black 2 inch peep toe pumps with a pair of more comfy black loafers as a backup.
So that’s what’s been happening and it has been wonderful, tomorrow is Monday and my first full week as a woman at my workplace. Yesterday I met with a lady who is looking for a roommate for her condo, her daughter works with me and told her mom about me, she was totally fine with it being a transgender woman and wanted to meet me – as a woman. So yesterday we met and she showed me around her/our place and the complex, showed my bedroom and bathroom, talked for several hours, and she fully expects me to live with her as the new woman I am and says how important it is to be true to who you truly are!!
So my new life as a woman has snow started, and there’s a great big adventure ahead of me that is waiting to be explored!!
I will be posting some new pictures as soon as I can get them all off my phone, and will definitely be keeping you and all of our TgH sisters updated!!Lots of love,
Lauren M
There is an old saying:
When you are up to your ass in alligators,
It is hard to remember that the initial objective was to drain the swamp.The parallel here is that when we are in uncharted waters and in the midst of great upheaval, it can be hard to remember that the majority of people are good people and do truly want the best for others. You are in the process of discovering this. Let it sink in, be comforted by it and remember it…
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