Overcoming the fear

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    • #62352

      I know that I am a transgendered female.  Currently my biggest obstacle that I face is when I dress or even thing about starting to transition I feel guilty about the whole idea.  A simple example is when I wear panties I feel comfortable and at peace for a while and then I start to reflect on it and the guilt and shame come in.  I do plan on seeking a gender therapist to help navigate my feelings but as soon as I start to research one I get those pesky feelings.

      What I am looking for is what did all of you do to help overcome those feelings?  I just want to feel as comfortable as I can in my own skin.  I know that this is a part of who I am but I need to get to a point where I can express myself and not be ashamed.

      Thanks,

      Chrissy

    • #62359

      I think talking to a therapist will help a lot, and allow you to explore your feelings. Perhaps before that finding someone you know and trust that you think will be supportive and understanding to confide in. This site is a great place to do that safely. Talking with others helps so much. For me, I had to go through a phase of learning to accepting myself which helped to reduce (some) anxiety and guilt.

      I am not out yet, I am in some aspects (therapist and partner) but not in general…I have not transitioned, or present female on a daily basis (work etc.) but I have found that I am more gender fluid in my presentation and that makes me more comfortable as I take small steps forward.

      Follow your heart, do not overthink and do what feels natural. Certainly be aware and thoughtful on how you proceed but try not to let fear hold you back from being authentic to yourself. Ultimately if it makes you a happier person…if it makes you a nicer person…then people will see and experience that from you as you express yourself more.

    • #62401

      Hi Chrissy,

      Justine had some great advice. Definitely look for a therapist. I felt the exact same anxiety and shame you have when I first looked for a therapist. The day I found my therapist I sent a bunch of emails before I could over think it and talk myself out of it. My therapist called me that day about 15 minutes after sending out those emails. I figured it was fate. She has been fantastic and helped me get over all the anxiety, guilt, and shame.i went see my therapist to get rid of my crossdressing “problem”. Instead she helped me accept that I am a transgender woman.

      Hug,

      Angela

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