Pretending To Be Trans…

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  • #54089
    DeeAnn Hopings
    Ambassador

    As A Watchout…

    A few years ago a trans woman showed up in our community. She was in fairly rough shape with no money and very little in the way of prospects. She was allowed to crash on the couches of various folks in the LGBT community while she got herself sorted. She was made an officer in the local trans organization. In some of the places where she stayed, valuables came up missing. Not 100% sure about the sequence of events, but I think charges were involved and it was eventually determined that she was NOT trans and was wanted for various crimes in Arkansas (theft, bad checks, etc.). The thought behind all off this was that the person figured that hiding out in the trans community was a good strategy…

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    • #91220
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Actually, when you think about it, hiding out in the trans community has merit. We are either invisible to society in general or we are noticed and dismissed. Either way, often we are overlooked. We would have to be recognized as people and that’s a stretch for many in the general populace.

      Anyway, it was a good plan, but her greed got in the way.

      To follow up on the person who brought the impostor in, later she brought a person into the group for paid work. We got double billed and the person stole our lists of donors and trans people in order to start her own group.

      It is unfortunate that trans people have not only a poor reputation internal to the community, but also external to the community. It makes it very easy to ignore us and pretend that we don’t exist…

    • #91079
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      One other point…

      The person who brought the impostor into the community elevated this person to be the secretary and board member of our local trans organization. However, all this happened just before my arrival, so all I know are the gross details and not the minutia. I met her once or twice before I joined the organization, but shortly after she mysteriously disappeared. My guess is that she figured that she had overstayed her welcome and needed to find somewhere else to be. A few months later we found out what the real story was as the police were trying to figure out where she had been and what she had been doing before she was arrested.

      Sometimes Truth is stranger than Fiction…

    • #91078
      Anonymous

      Anytime that I meet person to person with a new (new to me) trans person I tactfully ask them leading questions to access whether they are trans.  For instance, if they are a strictly crossdresser that is only dressing as a fetish and acknowledges that they are male then I don’t want to establish a relationship with them because they are usually looking for a physical relationship and I am not interested.  This does not include the person that thinks they are female but unable to transition at that time but still dresses as female at every opportunity. Nothing personal but I am not interested.

      If someone tells me they are trans I will tactfully ask them to tell me their trans story.  If I determine that a trans person has a female heart and soul I can sense it through their answers. And then they will have my complete acceptance and support until such time as they prove they are not worthy of it. I never pass judgement on someone I have just met based on appearances.

    • #82742

      Pretending to be trans?  I  think part of problem lies in the fact that we accept AT FACE VALUE.  We do not discuss our pasts easily because in many cases they were not resolved or are too PAINFUL.   I  submit  such a person as described is a perfect example of that.   Would you want to reveal such a past?  Therein is i think the root cause..ie    enemy of my friend is my enemy.  We MAY not like or accept the outsider with such a history  but *claiming*  to be trans entitles the person to protection of group  or at least it is perceived that way.  The fact that later person was determined not to be trans  and as well much more does not mitigate the help or protection given  I would think the next time we face such a situation a little common sense and gentle questioning would determine if indiv was concealing something that could harm us indiv or collectively.  Just some random thoughts

      • #82766
        DeeAnn Hopings
        AMBASSADOR

        Unfortunately, the person who welcomed the stranger initially is less than a good judge of character. This has been demonstrated in other situations…

    • #82654

      I can’t imagine anyone “pretending to be trans, it’s no cake walk!!. I have been trans for 53 years and I am finally to the point where I can say I am a confident, proud trans woman but the ride has not been easy. I have suffered thru beatings, I have been stabbed, hurt, I have been rejected, abused, lost housing, provided sexual favors for a place to sleep, addicted to drugs, lost friends and rejected by my family. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy. The journey is not always an easy one!!!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #54115
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Yes, sometimes folks do bite the hand that feeds them…

    • #54097
      Anonymous

      Wow thats sad.    Especially with the friendship and charity that was extended to her.

       

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