Question for y’all.

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    • #138095

      I seem to hear, in every television news program, and sites that post news and socio-political information and opinions that society in general  doesn’t want or accept transgenders in their world.  Legislation is even passed to prohibit even acknowledging that we live amongst them.

      Why is it, then, that during the 3 years I have transitioned FT,  have I  never experienced it as I go about life?

      What do you think?

    • #138100
      DeeAnn Hopings

      I think the majority of people here in the US are pretty much oblivious. They have enough other things to do and focus on in their daily lives, so it isn’t an issue for them. On the other hand, some see political advantage in throwing red meat to the faithful as we are viewed as low hanging fruit.

      While I live in a fairly welcoming area (adjacent to Palm Springs, CA), there have been incidents against gay people and trans people. When I first moved here in January of 2016, there was an incident involving a gay male couple the previous December. They were leaving a bar and were attacked. While their injuries were not life-threatening, one died of a heart attack in the hospital. A year or 2 later, a lesbian couple was signing in a convenience store. Another female customer thought they were talking about her and proceeded to start beating on them. An investigation was started in July of 1999 when the dismembered body of a women was found just north of Palm Springs. She was not identified until a skull was found 11 years later. Through DNA tests, they determined that she was Raina Chessman, a trans woman. The local trans organization created an emergency fund for trans people and it was named for her.

      Over time, there have been some other incidents, such as a trans woman being challenged by a casino security person. If I remember correctly, the security person was dismissed, but these are the notable ones that come to mind.

      I think the message here is that even in a bubble like we have, it isn’t as liberal as we would think. In 2017, trans woman Lisa Middleton was elected to Palm Springs City Council and has continued to serve until present times. However, when she was first elected, she was the first openly trans person elected to office in the entire state! 40,000,000 people here and she was the first. I remind people that we are not as liberal as we (and the rest of the country) think we are.

      Fortunately, so far I have not encountered any issues beyond a McDonald’s employee telling me that I was entering the women’s restroom. I did not acknowledge her and entered the restroom. Evidently she did not know know that, by law, we can use the facility that matches our gender identity.

      • #138355
        Dana Munson

        DeeAnn (and all): Yes, in California any merchant or other facility which A) is open to the public and B) provides restroom facilities segregated by gender (i.e. Men/Women) must permit use of such restrooms according to the gender identity of the user. Calif. Civil Code section 87(b), if I remember correctly. The trick is establishing one’s “gender identity” if challenged (say by store security). The mechanisms aren’t 100% clear. If you are dressed and made up as a woman in public, that’s a reasonably unambiguous  statement of “gender identity.” My understanding is that many stores, as a matter of policy, simply won’t bother you in such a case. AOn the other hand, an obviously male person who, however genuine their “trans” feelings may be, walks into the Women’s restroom while dressed as a man is doubtless asking for some trouble. If you, like myself and many others here, are a transwoman who has identification showing you as a legal “F,” you cannot (legally) be denied the use of the Women’s restroom. But the law applies to places generally open to the public. A private club may not be covered by this law.  (Full disclosure: I am not a lawyer and am not trying to give legal advice. I was, however, FWIW, a litigation paralegal for 40 years prior to retirement.)

        • #138359
          DeeAnn Hopings

          I have no desire to do the name/gender change thing. I am 74 and I just don’t see much purpose in it. It would require more effort than I am willing to invest. Note that I am speaking purely for myself with no desire to effect anyone else’s decision. It is just how it sits for me. I also have no plans for any sort of affirmation surgeries or hormone therapy. Also, whether DeeAnn, or on rare occasion, Don, my presentation is never ambiguous or androgynous. That has never appealed to me.

    • #138108

      [postquote quote=138095]

      Hi Carly,

      As an exPat, I feel fortunate not to be exposed to the hatred that is being fomented against  transpeople like ourselves. I cannot imagine what it must be like to live there right now, especially if you are in an area where laws are being passed to make our existence a crime.

      The freedom to be ourselves exists within the BoR under our Right to Privacy. No one else knows, or needs to know, who is using HRT for erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness or for any other medical condition because it is a matter between themselves and their doctors. This is further reinforced by the HIPAA legislation.

      The freedom to choose what you wear can only be restricted by obscenity laws and when I am wearing a skirt, top and sandals I do not violate those laws any more than a cis-female does wearing the identical outfit bought from the same stores in the mall.

      DeeAnn was spot on with her opening sentences. The vast majority of people are focused on their own issues and don’t even notice a 6’2″ woman in sunglasses wearing a dress strolling through the mall. The sales staff are just happy to make a sale and don’t care either.

      Essentially it is the same furor that erupted about the “threat” of “gay marriage” that would “destroy” the nation. Today people accept gay families as being normal and unremarkable. The “threat” never happened because it was all just political posturing to turn out voters. The same applies to the current deluge of anti-trans legislation.

      Unfortunately there are going to be serious consequences and some trans people will die as a result of this political agenda. (The same applies to the anti-abortion legislation.) There is only one solution and that is to vote out those who are pushing this nefarious agenda. In the meantime we need to support each other as best we can. Just by being normal in our every day lives we can be ambassadors for the trans community everywhere. Politeness and respect, even when faced with adversity, is the way to take the high road and be a positive role model for ourselves.

      Kind regards, Rowena 👩‍🦳


    • #138349

      It’s all hate-mongering from the political far right.  Speaking as an American, everyone of us..cis, trans, gay, or whatever, should be very worried about not only the legislation that’s being passed specifically targeting the trans community; but where the political power and money is coming from to back these legislations.  This is exactly how the Nazi’s came into power prior to WWII.  It’s subversive in the way it’s being used to shift focus from the real issues regarding the economy towards something that targets a very small minority of people.  It’s a selling point for political agendas.  But the true evil lurks in where the money comes from to back these agendas.  Hate mongering organizations and the religious far right (I won’t call them Christians, because Christians are taught tolerance and acceptance) funnel money towards these politicians and expect them to represent their views in the legislation.  That is where we need to change our laws.  Political donations are destroying this country.  It needs to stop.

      • #138576
        DeeAnn Hopings

        Note that much of the money going to other countries to fund anti-trans activism comes from US groups and the Russian government.

    • #138362

      That is a very valid post darling. I think the world in general is slowly moving towards greater acceptance in spite of hateful, right-wing rhetoric. As I go about my day, most people are too bothered with their own lives to be bothered about you. So, unless you go ‘over the top’ with how you look, no-one is really bothered. Luv
      Cheri xx

    • #138489

      In most cases, it’s being used as a political platform to play to the base for future election campaigns. It’s about selfishness, not  gender equality.

    • #138534

      In one word: Propaganda!

      In a weird way that appears to be a polar opposite to your point, they are pushing transitioning to new levels in America mostly from what I see. Perhaps I am wrong? This is being pushed globally, an aspect that should ring alarm bells with everyone. This current programme of coercion dressed up as help for anyone who doesn’t know what gender they are, and alarmingly with children too!

      • #138670
        DeeAnn Hopings

        Please explain why a parent, given the attacks in this political environment, would want affirming medical care for their child if it wasn’t necessary? Sorry, that just makes no sense to me. Over the years, we finally learned from our mistakes with intersex kids. I believe that we have learned from those times.

    • #138537



      I think you n others have been lucky but I agree with the others. 1 we are being used as a political scapegoat so politicians have an evil to save society from n unite a voting base (no I don’t think they truly care about us or the issues they claim passion about.) 2. I learned years ago voters talk about philosophy n issues  but when they go in the voting booth they check their wallets..if better than last election the incumbent stays, if worse then time for change. most voters vote the wallet  not issues. 3. I agree everyone else has their own lives to worry about so if my skirt is short or long or boobs big or small just doesn’t make the radar for most folks cause they need to get the kids  make dinner clean the house  do laundry make sure the dog goes out  check if mom n dad are OK and etc etc. what we wear is far at the bottom of their is what pic is on the door for you to duck inside a stall  pee n wash hands n fix makeup. nobody goes home n tells the kids to shut up so they can discuss our bathroom choices  not even these new political Nazi.

      hugs to all

      missy jo

    • #138555

      [quote quote=138534]This current programme of coercion dressed up as help for anyone who doesn’t know what gender they are, and alarmingly with children too![/quote]

      I am not sure that I follow what you are saying in the above statement.

      No one is being coerced into adopting a gender that is not in alignment with their assigned sex at birth. Transgender people instinctively know that they in the wrong body from an early age. The majority of children are coerced into adopting the gender mannerisms of their assigned sex as a means of masking their true gender because the alternative was not accepted by society as a whole.

      There is a generational shift towards greater acceptance and tolerance of individual differences that do not conform to the norms of society and thus the ability for transpeople to become themselves is transforming societal norms. This acceptance includes children being allowed to express their own gender identity at an early age since they are no longer being coerced into a box/bathroom where they do not belong.

      The extremist reaction to this trend towards openness and acceptance of transpeople is driven by a political party that has an ever shrinking base to call upon. Their aging voter demographic is not being fully replaced by younger people joining so they need to manufacture an “existential crisis” or “threat” in order to get their members to the polls.

      Those who pull the levers of power are well versed in how to manipulate the gullible and so you are correct when you refer to this agenda as being propaganda, Sophie. However the “coercion” comes in the form of the canards about transpeople that are used to dupe the voters of this political party. They are being coerced into hating their own children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews because being born trans is not something that anyone can control.

      As a child I was “coerced” into believing that being a “sissy” was a bad thing to be and it was used as a taunt to force me to behave in a masculine way against my own instincts. Now that I have accepted that I am indeed a “sissy” I am the happiest and most content I have ever been with myself because I am finally being true to who I am inside.

      Kind regards, Rowena 👩‍🦳

      • #138574

        Perhaps we can agree to differ on this point. We appear to have our own beliefs on this matter. While I can accept your point of view, I consider that I have seen and experienced a great of life, good and bad during my lifetime which brings me to my own here.

        However, I do not agree with your reply.
        I had mixed feelings as a child, but went on to father 2 children as part of my natural biological self. I have no regrets at all and am blessed to have such wonderful children. That is something I would not have experienced – the miracle of life that a man and woman are able to create, bring into this world, love and nurture.

        Personally, I am very happy that I was not led or encouraged to transition in childhood, or too young, to lose that capability through medical treatment or surgery. We do not fully developed as a person until after puberty, when we can know more clearly what and how we feel about our gender, if we should chose to question it at all.

        What I have seen taking place in the world is nothing less than the programming of young and susceptible minds when we are referring to children specifically.

        • #138593
          DeeAnn Hopings

          Please explain “what you have seen.”.

        • #138596

          Thank you for taking the time to explain your position, Sophie, since it gives me a greater insight into why you and I are not on the same page.

          I too fathered a child and she is one of the 3 best things in my life, the others were living with my soulmate for 46 years and the opportunity to live my life as Rowena.

          My own childhood was one of abuse and neglect and I never wanted children and neither did my soulmate when we met and married because her father physically abused her mother. A decade later my spouse fell pregnant and we were in a financial position to raise a child and in our early 30’s. I did the exact opposite from the way I was raised and a large part of that is my innate maternal instinct. That same instinct would have enabled me to adopt a child and raise them as if they were my biological child. It would be interesting to discover how many other transpeople have the same maternal instinct.

          We agree that children do not have the cognitive ability to make life altering decisions and must never be coerced into something of that nature. Worth noting that when I was a child I was coerced into being male even though I knew that I wasn’t. How is that coercion acceptable?

          The medical specialists are well aware that children cannot make these decisions which is why they use puberty blockers as a means of “buying” trans children the years they need to mentally mature so that they can make an informed decision for themselves at age 18. At that point they can choose for themselves as to whether they want to be male or female and proceed from there. The only side effect of puberty blockers is additional adult height which is not a handicap. As someone who started puberty late at around 15 (was my body was trying to tell me something?) I am now 6’2″ which means that puberty “blocking” can occur naturally.

          For the record these medications were developed to help preteen girls who start menstruating early. Puberty blockers have no known irreversible negative side effects however they do appear to reduce the incidence of teenage suicides among transpeople which is a positive side effect in my opinion.

          Medical specialists agree that neither Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) nor Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) should be part of the treatment for children and there is a great deal of malicious disinformation being spread around that this is what is being done to children. Personally I oppose the use of HRT and SRS for those under 18 however there might be exceptional circumstances where those treatments could be appropriate. I am not a medical specialist and I do not have the right to impose my opinions on the private medical decisions that occur between a transperson, their parents and medical providers. That is up to them to choose the best course of treatment and no one else should be coercing them either way.

          Your position, as I understand it, is based upon what it meant to you to be a biological parent and when is a transperson mature enough to enable them to make a choice as to what adult role suits them best?

          My position is that all children, biological or adopted, should be raised with the unconditional love of their biological or adopted parents. That same love means enabling children to make the life choice that is best for themselves when they reach adulthood.

          Coercion takes many forms and covers the spectrum of physical and mental abuse. Teaching a child how to tie their shoes is not the same thing as beating or mocking them because they lack the dexterity to do so themselves. I am opposed to all forms of coercion because it has negative side effects that can last a lifetime.

          Kind regards, Rowena 👩‍🦳

        • #138637

          I don’t know exactly what you put in the word encouraging, if it is actively pushing a child towards transitioning, letting the child experiment with gender on their own will or not actively stop the child from doing so. I am neither in favour of the first, nor the last alternative and it is true that most children are too immature to understand the full consequences of a decision to transition between genders. Undeniably most children eventually end up identifying with the gender assigned at birth as adults, but what about those few that don’t? Do we really do them a favour pushing them through a puberty they later will spend tenths of thousands of dollars undoing, still ending up with some unwanted irreversible changes pointing them out to themselves and others, or alternatively realise they have no possibility to undo, effectively forcing them to live in a role they never will be fully comfortable with?

          I was born in a time when gender issues were considered as mental illness and merely unheard of among the general population. Yet, already at the age of five or six I knew I had the soul of a girl inside me. However, in my total ignorance I had no idea that something like transitioning even existed and believed only divine intervention could make me become a true girl, so I never even mentioned my thoughts to my parents or anyone else though I never stopped dreaming of becoming her. At twelve I began secretly wearing my mother’s old skirts and dresses to visualise the girl inside me, something that continued all through my life.
          It was getting Parkinson’s disease at 47, that finally brought the woman out in the open. Still family obligations stopped me from pursuing a transition and now close to 11 years later I am forced to admit I really don’t have the possibility to fully become her, partly because of my own medical situation and more so because my wife couldn’t deal with it and maintaining separate places would make us both suffer economically. Still I feel I must do something to remain sane and so just started the tedious task of pouring money into permanent hair removal of my face – and still I have very sparse hair comparing to most born male.


    • #138578
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Some things to know:

      • No one can make anyone gay or transgender. It is innate. Any thought about “grooming” is patently a lie. If it was, conversion therapy would work, but it doesn’t. See:
      • There was a time when intersex kids were forced to have surgeries at the behest their parents or medical personnel. This occurred in infancy even before children certainly had any idea of what was going on. This has only begun to change in more recent times.
      • Kids know that something is different about them and parents should listen to that without assumptions or prejudice. But, given the hostile environment for trans people, do you think a parent would want that for their child if it were not the case? It is silly to suggest that they would. Speaking as a parent and grandparent, I certainly would not and I doubt that others would also.
    • #138580

      Yes Carly, it is the difference between people in the real world and cynical politicians exploiting what they perceive is an opportunity for votes from the right wing and the ultra zealous religious.

      It’s all a lie. Children are not being coerced into changing sex nor is there an agenda to programme anyone to change gender. Nor are there straight men declaring themselves as trans in order invade women’s safe places.

      It’s not just America, certainly over in Britain some in the Conservative party along with their lap dogs in the tabloid papers are pushing this lie. Apparently ‘transgender militants’ that’s you and me BTW, are intent on forcing children to transition. That men are queuing up to be declared women so they can win medals in womens’ sport and invade womens’ safe places. Jk Rowling is their hero.

      It’s crazy but the problem with the big lie is that if you repeat it often enough. It becomes accepted as a truth.

      So yes, so far people are still accepting for the most part. But under the barrage of anti trans propaganda that might change.

      So we have to be wary and worried. Particularly when even trans people begin to believe it’s true.

      But the real danger for us is that we will no longer be allowed to transition. No hormones, no surgery, no help. We will be written out of existence. Even those of who have fully transitioned will be classified by their birth gender.

      It’s not just us of course. We see in Florida and elsewhere, attempts to downplay racism, reduce women’s rights. It’s only the start.

      The rise of right wing extremism is dangerous to everyone. We’re just the first to be demonised and rounded up. We won’t be the last.

      History tells us that

    • #138606

      Sophie makes à valid point, nobody should be forced into an identity or life they don’t want.

      but most of what I read suggests children are asking for gender help, b they don’t wisk away the 5 year old n cut it off, they take then yo therapy b doctor to figure this out. maybe they predcribe hormone blockers, which are completely reversed simply by stopping taking them, n that holds off puberty of the non desire gender. had I done that I would not need laser etc. shrugs . as they should not be forced  the choice should not be precluded either, nor should therapy or even being allowed to say transgender not violate free speech…but apparently it now does,  thanks to the haters.

      carly dear, I’ve been lucky n not faced bully or mocking other than the constant political barrage of hate laws designed at éradication of us…and family

      so here’s my Query girls

      .my sibling says he needs to protect his wife n family from me n us..from what? it’s not contagious. it’s all over the news so he can’t keep them from hearing words lgbt..what do they need protected from? no I’ve never been charged with any crimes n I regularly attend church n tell God thank you n I’m sorry for my transgressions


      hugs to all

      missy jo

      • #138629
        DeeAnn Hopings

        I would suggest stop trying to find logic and reason in prejudice and dogma…

        • #138634

          The problem is not the lack of logic and reason. It’s the real danger that people begin to believe the dogma and prejudice is actually a reasonable point of view.

          I won’t mention the obvious historical parallel indeed parallels.

          But here we are, a minority. In our case a tiny minority. A powerless minority portrayed as an existential threat to society. To women, children to family.

          It’s a conspiracy theory. But it’s rapidly becoming mainstream. Even in what are supposed to be liberal society.

          We are in real trouble.

          Look at the totally manufactured Bud Lite drama.

          It’s depressing.

          • #138638
            DeeAnn Hopings

            My point was that we often try to understand prejudice and dogma from a logical and reasonable viewpoint. But, that never works because prejudice and dogma tend not to be logical and rational.

    • #138635

      it’s sad really

      DeeAnn dont forget the Montana Congresswoman, openly trans, opposéd à bill taking away gender affirming care n said to her collègues something like children will die without this care, n their blood is on our hands now. she was basically kicked out of the législature. no right to speak her mind for her position

      it’s sad, I recall historical documents, inaliénable rightd n natural law that all men were created equal ..or equal protection of the laws, fredom of speech, tortious interférence with my health insurance contract, freedom of association, séparation of church n state, the us suprême court permitting same sex marriages..just can’t talk about it anymore, outrage from the racial discrimination cases finding à non white person was 3/8 of à person, separate was inherently not equal….yes we have a history of 250 years fighting fir freedoms n libertiés, n now we burn books n Hunt down groups of society like wwii Germany. the haters dont realize, we’re just an easy t 1st target, some other group will be next n then another..oh yeah, that’s why we fought for independence n set up à government of checks n balances..awfully inconvénient, let’s just appoint someone czar, n eliminate the suprême court n nationnalize industry n military forces…better start making  flags of hate too..


      so sorry

      . I rant. il sorry..maybe remove this post..I’m sorry that they hate us n would rather see us you see it hurts n Angers me. so sorry..shutting up now


    • #138645

      [quote quote=138606]so here’s my Query girls .my sibling says he needs to protect his wife n family from me n us..from what? it’s not contagious. it’s all over the news so he can’t keep them from hearing words lgbt..what do they need protected from? no I’ve never been charged with any crimes n I regularly attend church n tell God thank you n I’m sorry for my transgressions[/quote]

      Interesting question, Missyjo.

      My brother and his wife are Pentacostal and when the HIV epidemic struck in the 1980’s they banned my cousin from their house even though he was in a monogamous relationship and was the last person to engage in “unsafe sex” because of his own Christian beliefs.

      They have ghosted me after I told them about Rowena which didn’t surprise me in the least. My sister, cousins, in-laws and other relatives have all been kind and supportive which is hardly surprising given the number of LBGTQ kids they have.

      I have little doubt that my brother and SIL believe that they are “protecting their family” from the likes of me and my LBGTQ relatives which is the same misbegotten belief that your brother is expressing.

      When I brought this matter up with my daughter her response was that they are ostracizing themselves at their own expense, “their loss, not ours” were her exact words. I share her sentiments. DeeAnn is right that it is a waste of time arguing with bigots.

      If you are like me then you are much happier as Missyjo and that will be evident to those around you. Your happiness does not depend upon the approval/acceptance of those who believe in ignorant bigoted canards about transpeople.

      If you want to try and make amends then just tell your brother that you still love him and forgive him for his transgressions against you. Use those exact words and then just leave it hanging there. Your words will echo in his head each time he recites the Lord’s Prayer. Don’t say anything else and don’t get into an argument, just let him know you will wait for him. Eventually he might adapt to the new reality where transpeople are accepted as being normal and if he doesn’t, he knows that you will always love him as your brother.

      Kind regards, Rowena 👩‍🦳


      • #138831


        thank you dear, a wonderful idea.

        I pulled the trigger in frustration earlier n sent siblings letters saying thanks, it’s been nice having siblings, n yes you each baled me out if jams over time so thank you,..but this path I must take I cannot do with you constantly telling me you find me an offensive sinning murderer or rapist the world needs protection from..n i deserve to rot in hell..

        ..I can’t fight that emotional battle everyday n night n each of your preachy messages makes me want to harm myself..n still you preach. ..

        at your suggestion, let’s cut contact. no notes, calls, texts n don’t show up or I’ll call the police.

        enjoy your lives.


        it seemed right and ss much as I miss feeling a part of something Iof a family i don’t miss fighting those emotional battles for my right to exist on hourly because of their notes “of love”, justified in the name of God (my Catholic  priest was nowhere as condemning or judgmental)


        hugs to all

        • #138842

          Hello MissyJo,

          When someone gets in my face using their beliefs I ask them simple questions like “Are both men and women made in God’s image?” because I am trying to understand your position on this matter?

          When they answer affirmatively that opens the door to the follow up question “Doesn’t that make God transgender?”

          If they respond with God made Adam and then made Eve from Adam’s rib then you ask them “Doesn’t that make Eve transgender since God transformed a male body into a female body?” followed by God approves of SRS because he did it Himself in the Garden of Eden.

          I do it in a non-provocative manner so as to be as disarming as possible because I am “trying to understand” what it is they are having a problem understanding.

          Kind regards, Rowena


          • #138860

            Rowena..thank you. I must try that if I get stuck in another debate..but I’m trying to avoid debates fir the right to exist..if you don’t like me, or find me offensive or need protection from me them stay the f..k away from me, simple eh?

            so I’ll be lonely but not constantly arguing for freedom to exist..that’s exhausting n fruitless



    • #138801

      I can only say, careful what you wish for. I too have never had to defend lgbt2+ rights, issues, etc. but then I have never put myself intentionally in that position for whatever reason. I just want to live my life in peace, period.

      • #138806
        DeeAnn Hopings

        We move forward to the degree of OUR efforts.

    • #138847

      I don’t know if we are helping children express themselves, I hope, or if a certain amount of too much acceptance has become encouraging..(yes it hurts to think thst)..but i see story time with drag no digferent thssn bussing in the 70s n 80s..youll bevome friends with kids once youre exposed n meet some..good theory..

      .regardless we are NOT  the monsters the politicians say we are nor are children being surgically mutilated


      that said, there was a rush of lawsuits in early 80s, mcmartin was most famous..they used anatomical dolls to help the kids testify as to the alleged abuse..what they found  years after they had convicted many n ruined lives, was the kids had been interviewed so many times, with each adult prompting them fir an answer n suggesting..did daddy touch you here..on your vagina,? some point the kids just learned words n their lines  yes daddy touched my vagina n stuck his penis inside me..but these were words n concepts they didn’t know..n it seriously questionfd the integrity of the testimoney used to conviction

      I pray we are allowing expression in safety n not steering as they did in those

      sorry..but yes we should be allowed to exist n children should feel safe expressing



    • #138862

      In the UK, there is a mixed climate. It has to be said bigotry shouts louder and the news media can profit by promoting what it sees as injustice, such as womens sport being destroyed by men in dresses. Or women are in real danger of attack by trans women in their safe toilets. Neither of these are actually true but then the reality wouldn’t sell a single newspaper.
      The UK should perhaps apologise for J.K.Rowling and her fear mongering, which has nothing to do with womens safety from trans women…though from everyday men perhaps so. Transphobia isn’t evident in everyday life in the UK, in fact quite the opposite. Every woman I have spoken too since I became trans has supported and applauded my courage to be who I really am. I get support and encouragement at every turn for being a woman if I believe that is what I am…even embraced and accepted as a woman by them. Agreed the UK has a very low religious community and the vast majority of both men and woman support the right to live and let live as a human right, irrespective of religious beliefs.
      I believe this anti woke backlash is just a phase and belongs to a generation that still struggles with the equality of colour and sex, so gender is another attack on their bigotry. They are slipping into history. There is no place in the modern world for intolerance, the bigots days are numbered…and that includes religion bigotry.
      Mahatma Gandhi put it well in his fight against oppression: ‘First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you…then you win.’

    • #138871
      DeeAnn Hopings

      From what I’ve seen on this forum, and others, I want to dispel an incorrect opinion.

      I suspect that when people hear or see the word <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>Activism</span>, the mental image is of someone standing in front of a group, leading a march on the streets, etc. In other words, the image is of a visible activity.

      However, there is MUCH more than that and it is rarely, if ever, seen.

      • Event planning is mostly done at a distance. For the people that you would interact with, they would largely only know you by name and phone number. Further, the name is only what you tell them.
      • Doing financial work for an organization is essentially done out of the public eye. You could even do everything excluding actually signing checks if you don’t want to do that. You could have another officer do that.
      • Many organizations keep volunteer records. Probably one of the important things is providing data in order to recognize volunteers for the time that they have put in to support the organization.
      • If you have a bit of an artistic bent, there is designing pamphlets and advertisements for organizational activities.

      I’ve had involvements on both sides. I’ve been part of event planning teams, I did social media work and was a treasurer of one organization for a bit over 2 years. I’ve held office is various organizations and often that does put me in the public eye. An example of that would be as recent as last night. In my position as Vice-Chair of Desert Stonewall Democrats, I gave a speech at the Palm Springs Juneteenth Celebration. I’ve also been in the media as Chair of the Cathedral City Public Arts Commission. My photo appears online in About Us web pages for one organization and in other listings.

      My original thought was to be in positions and organizations to do the work that I thought was significant and good to do. Sort of by accident I realized the importance of visibility. The problem is that to MANY, trans people have a terrible reputation for backstabbing and being flaky and unreliable. Since I am retired and in reasonable shape financially, I don’t have to be concerned about employment. I have no fear of being kicked out of my parents house as I don’t live with them and other issues that befall trans people all too frequently. Therefore, I am able to use my time and energies towards the purpose of doing the work and being out in the community.

      Currently I know all of our city council people and mayor here in Cathedral City and several city staff members. I also know all of city council and mayor in Palm Springs. But, of greater importance, they know me. Consequently, I get asked to do some things that others would not.

      My wife has a considerable hearing disability. I’ve done a bit of research into a process called the Loop System. In a facility such as a conference room, an auditorium or a movie theater, the audio is broadcast directly to hearing aids. It eliminates the background noise and makes hearing independent of where you happen to be seated. In an area where many come to retire, currently there are no facilities in the entire Coachella Valley (~350,000 people) that have a Loop System (I last checked shortly after the first of this year). Anyway, I passed information and the results of my research to the mayors of Palm Springs and Cathedral City, to our Asst. City Manager and the person who is leading the renovation project of the historic Plaza Theater in downtown Palm Springs. Now, we’ll see what happens in the future, but as I know them all, my messages were received, read, and responses sent.

      So, to me, this is what is important. We, as trans people, must be seen as integral members of society. What we do and what we hold dear must be seen in the same way as anyone else. I don’t see how it can be any other way.

      • #139824

        I agree whole heartedly.    IMO, just going About my life is a powerful activism.

      • #139921
        DeeAnn Hopings

        Another activity that can be done in private:

        Recently I addressed a bunch of postcards to be sent by the Democratic Party. I could have chosen to do this in the headquarters space or at home. I chose to do the work at home so that I could do them on my own schedule. Anyway, the point is that if desired, such work could be done anonymously.

        As a group, we have to realize that the forces coming after us are organized, funded and relentless. These are the same people who fought Marriage Equality, put in place those who would rule against Roe v. Wade, created legislation to eliminate gender affirming health care and believe erroneously that Conversion Therapy works when We Know that it doesn’t. If we don’t do all that we can in the Here and Now, there won’t be “I just want to live my life.” as there won’t be a life to live.

        • #139946

          Unfortunately you are correct, DeeAnn, these Xto-Fascists are organized and hellbent on eliminating us by whatever means they can, including resorting to violence. Please note that Xto-Fascists do not represent regular law-abiding Christians. They are the antithesis of everything that Christianity stands for IMO. I am using the Xto term as means to differentiate them.

          They have corrupted both the legislatures and legal systems of the red states and intend to turn America into a Theocracy where there are two levels of citizenship and anyone who doesn’t conform will be imprisoned. Yes, I know this all sounds very melodramatic but when you consider that their political activities began in the 1980’s and they have successfully overturned RvW by seizing control of the Supreme Court. They have no intention of stopping now, they will keep on pushing and pushing at eroding our constitutional rights. The latest indictments in FL and DC both contain violations of our individual rights.

          By transitioning I have stepped away from the relative safety of being a cis white male and have become a minority instead. I suspect this applies to many others in this forum and a great many more nationwide. However we not alone, LBGTQ organizations have been dealing with this fight for decades now and did succeed in legalizing gay marriage before the Supreme Court was corrupted. That gain is also under threat.

          We need to join local LBGTQ organizations in our areas and support them as best we can in the current circumstances rather than starting from scratch. This threat is existential for ourselves. The Xto-Fascists cannot be negotiated with and cannot be swayed by rational arguments. We need to ensure that they are removed from the positions of power that they have usurped.

          We the People is an inclusive concept and we must be proactive in defending the rights of all of us because we are all that stand between the Xto-Fascists and our democracy.

          Kind regards, Rowena 👩‍🦳

          • #139948
            DeeAnn Hopings

            I think the most distressing thing that I see in the community is a “Let George Do It” mindset. Too many have not come to realize the extent of the dangers that exist. The concern is not only for me and my wife, but for my daughter and son and my granddaughters.

            I CAN NOT leave this Hot Mess for them is always in the back of my mind and drives a lot of what I do.

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