Questions About Advice & Counsel…

Have You Talked To Another Trans Person:

Basically the question relates to whether or not we seek support, advice and counsel from our peers. Multiple choices are possible. Please post any specifics that you care to share...

You must be logged in to participate.
  • About figuring out gender identity?
  • About deciding to Transition?
  • About Transition experiences?
  • And asked for emotional support while you grieved about the changes in your life, family or work situations?
  • And asked for them to just listen while you vented?
  • Creator
    Topic
  • #54148
    DeeAnn Hopings
    Participant

    For those who are trying to sort out their gender identity or those who are considering or starting transition, have you ever sought the advice of another trans person who has been through what you are thinking about? Also, it doesn’t have to be specifically about advice. It could be a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen while you vent…

    4 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 9 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #80244
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Participant

      BRONZE

      I marked all of the above!  Throughout my time after coming out, I met with many different people in different stages of transitioning.  I had 101 questions for each of them.  The biggest problem I ran into was asking those who were full time, bar GRS, who had such a large ego that it was impossible to get any good information out of them.  They would rather shun people who weren’t transitioned as far as they were.  Believe me, it does go to their heads!  Confidence is one thing, but snobbery is over the line.

      Yes, I would posit that there are 3 groups as far as transitioners go:

      • Those who transition and remain an active part of the community
      • Those who transition and leave the community
      • Those who transition and feel that they are at the top of the food chain because that transitioned and have no problem with telling you that.
    • #80121
      Meran Berwyck
      Participant

      FREE

      I marked all of the above!  Throughout my time after coming out, I met with many different people in different stages of transitioning.  I had 101 questions for each of them.  The biggest problem I ran into was asking those who were full time, bar GRS, who had such a large ego that it was impossible to get any good information out of them.  They would rather shun people who weren’t transitioned as far as they were.  Believe me, it does go to their heads!  Confidence is one thing, but snobbery is over the line.

    • #62454
      Michelle Renee
      Participant

      FREE

      Having been well out of the closet for about 22 years, I would have to say that most of my friends fall somewhere under the Transgender umbrella. I have both chatted and met in real life gals from all over the world. For the most part, we pretty much have many of the same issues which is one of the greatest reasons we are able to form such a strong bond in friendship.

      Michelle Jacqueline Renee

    • #62215
      Sarah P
      Participant

      FREE

      I’ve only chatted with a trans woman online.  I would love to meet a local friend to be able to talk to just have not been able to make the connection.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #62208
      Janice Emory
      Participant

      SILVER

      Since coming out I have met and become friends with a few transwomen and they have been very helpful with advice and encouragement, as well as, their own experiences, I am no longer afraid to transition.

    • #54290
      Therese McKnight
      Participant

      FREE

      Not in real life only on line. I’d like to find someone local who I can go out with and dress and get moral support for/from each other though.

    • #54220
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Participant

      BRONZE

      I had a particular reason for posing this question. There is a phenomenon in our community regarding people’s continuing attachment to the community. I find it sad that, after transition, many separate themselves from the community. The reasons that are offered include: “I just want to get on with my life and live as the woman I am.”, “I’m not (or don’t wish to be) an activist.”, etc. I understand that as transition is a long and difficult road. However, I liken this situation to when a good and experienced employee retires or leaves the company. If you haven’t made any effort to capture at least some of that information and experience, it just walks out the door.

      What we know is that in ANY endeavor, those who come after stand on the shoulders of those who came before. Even if we don’t directly access those people and that information, it is a comfort knowing that it is there if needed.

      Now, I’ve had some people tell me that they don’t want to do anything that would shine undo light upon them. They are passing and don’t want to be subjected to embarrassing questions. But here’s the rub: there as MANY activities that don’t require being seen! That says to me that someone was just throwing out an excuse, and a weak one at that.

      Anyway, I would ask, and encourage, people to think about how they can become involved and support their local communities.

    • #54201
      DeeAnn Hopings
      Participant

      BRONZE

      Dennis:

      I’m curious. How would older family members not know about your situation? The only thing that comes to mind is that if they lived at a distance and had minimal contact.

      Thanks,

      DeeAnn

    • #54192
      Dennis Herdina
      Participant

      FREE

      i am  transgender MTF.  i am engaged to  transgender FTM.  We are both out. Currently planning our wedding.  What we both wonder  should our ceremony be private or open to all our friends and families?  Some know we are transgender some do not.   We want day of happiness but NOT the condemnation of the few who do not know or accept.  The problem is that the people who do not known or who would condemn are the senior members of both our famlies. So leaving them out would be disrespectful to say the least.  Any suggestions?

    • #54180
      Breanna Leigh
      Participant

      FREE

      When I was in my twenties I had a friend who was transitioning and I fell head over heels with her. We lived happily together as two woman for a couple years and she mentored and educated me to the feminine ways I had not yet learned. We experimented with everything life has to offer and when we broke up, I was heartbroken!! I also spent 3 years in school studying psychology but lost funding and never made it back to school. Bad mistake!! But since that relationship I have had a few trans girlfreinds but never one as close as I was to her. Personally, I have had a hard time finding transgender friends who stay friends. A lot of girls I have met are looking for a sexual relationship and/or suffer from emotional and trust issues and are unable to hold a friendship for very long, or live too far away. I wish all the time that I could find a trans girlfriend to talk to, go shopping with and just hang out and support one another.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
Viewing 9 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2020Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account