Role Models

Who were your top role models?

What gender was your role models growing up?

You must be logged in to participate.
  • Male
  • Female
  • Both
  • Trans
  • Other
  • Had none


  • Creator
  • #35139
    Miriya Paris

    Hello everyone I was thinking the other day… well reminiscing about when I was growing up. And I started to think about the people who influenced me, and who I looked up too, and who I wanted to be like.  Some of my role models have changed of course now and some I am still aspiring to be like.  I should have found it curious that just about all of my role models were female but never did.  Not all of my role models were real as I grew up in the TV generation, and the Greatest American Hero song is still stuck in my head (pssst, he was not one of my role models bet just a catchy toon).  I did not know that any famous transgender people or gay for that matter so I never really looked up to them, guess my dads homophobia set the tone for the family.  I always like the strong Bond girls like Octopussy and the kick but ones like Bambi and Thumper and of course the smart sexy ones that twisted Bond around their fingers. But some of my top fictional role models are Delilah from Samson and Delilah, Galadriel from Lord of the Rings,  Cleopatra from the old version of the movie, and my favorite Anne Shirley of Green Gables, all glamorized by the movies of course. Anne holds a special place in my heart as she was everything I wanted to be the others just had strong traits I liked.


    And although she was a mess I really liked Marylin Monroe,  she made Hollywood actresses real for me.  For real life I have my Mom and my aunt Boots. My Mom for obvious reasons as she raised me and was my very own. And my aunt Boots, well she was not actually an aunt she was a non-related friend of my Mom’s Mom.  Her husband had died early in their marriage and she had no kids, so she pretty much adopted my Mom and her sister as her own.  So I was her grandkid by default.  She was a world traveler as she lived off her husband’s life insurance for just about her whole life, she brought the coolest little gifts from cultures all over the world and gave them too us when we were little at Christmas time.  She was smart and witty, had the coolest adventure stories as she had put foot her on every continent and at least 1/2 the countries. She lived till 104 when she passed, and just the memory of her puts a smile to my face.

    Now I try and think back as to the guys/men I wanted to be like, and you know what I can not think of any.  I had my martial arts instructors and movie gods like Bruce Lee but I never looked up to them as a role model to be like.  You would think other little boys wanted to be like Batman and GIGO, or Luke Skywalker, or Neal Armstrong, or a school teacher, or even their fathers.  I just never did.  How strange of a kid was I, no wonder I was shy and had only a few friends and even they weren’t close.

    So how about you all?  Care to stroll down memory lane and share who were your role models?




Viewing 23 reply threads
  • Author
    • #118026

      I voted both, but that is only because in the generation I was born [mid 50s in conservative, midwest America] boys were expected (and rightly so) to be “men”. In real life my dad and mother’s father were men I wanted to be like but only because that is what my culture expected from me.

      From an early age (5 yrs old) I sensed something amiss. My body showed I was a boy; my heart said, “no, I am a girl.” I wanted to be like my sisters, or my girl cousins (well some of them anyway).

      We lived out in the country and road the school bus to school (second pick up so the ride to and from was well over an hour). Oh how I wanted to be like Joyce, Kathy, Helen, Rita – to just be able to enter into that small sorority of the “big girls” sitting at the back of the bus. I was one of the older boys who also was able to sit at the back and I did, but not because that was my privilege as an older boy (middle school 7, 8th grade). No, I chose to sit there so I could be mesmerized by the girl talk. Oh the whispering about their new training bra, their giggling as they discussed learning to use make up, their lamenting at how cold the seats were on their thighs (no pants on girls then, mid thigh skirts and tights or pantyhose), their swooning over that special boy.  I longed for entrance and acceptance into those conversations, but I was a boy.  At times I would struggle to hold back the tears because as that boy I forbidden to be part of that. Yes those girls were role models I was forbidden to emulate. High school and college were much the same story.

      Outwardly John Wayne was a male role model, ah but inwardly I really longed to be like Elizabeth Montgomery, (Bewitched), Mary Tyler Moore, Anette Funicello (Mousketeers), Julie Andrews (Sound of Music at al).

      By 17 I understood I wanted to be a girl. I don’t believe at that time I understood that those Longings were there because I really was a girl at heart. That would come later, perhaps too late. Longings to be a girl were painfully intense. Women who understood the power of their femininity and used that power subtly yet ever so powerfully were my real role models. Thus years of conflict, unfortunately even unto this day. And sadly at my age and with my family obligation I can’t perceive ever being able to be like my secret role models, though of my own womanhood I am still sure. I am a woman, and to reach my full potential as such is not a dream I am yet willing to surrender.



    • #118005

      Meryl Streep, and she still is. Also my Head of Philosophy (and feminist writer) at University Dr.Carolyn Wilde. Still the most intelligent and inspiring person I have ever met…and a good friend.

    • #117876

      For me, Wonder Woman will always be my favorite. I still admire what she stands for and would love to be more like her. I also admire Freddie Mercury. He wasn’t afraid to be himself. I have a poster of him sitting on a ladder, and the caption reads, “Be yourself. No matter what people say.” I’ve always found that inspiring.

    • #117872

      MTF here. Captain Kirk and Batman were role models. After coming out I was like, I have no female roll mod…Dr. Temperance Brennan, Samantha Jones, Janis Joplin…oh, yeah.

    • #100856

      Role models…

      A ‘no brainer’… my wonderful mother and my equally though different maternal grandmother! Two very different woman who raised me.
      My first step-father… a wonderfully gentle man who was (I found out subsequently) gay and couldn’t abide being with a woman even to the point of being physically sick when faced with consummating the marriage. Sadly, he had to have a wife as he was a policeman in the 1960s! After six weeks of marriage he shot himself! Still, I have looked up to him for his kindness and compassion. Such a waste…

      Wow… sorry to have laid that out there…

      Pinups included Catherine Deneuve and Sylvie Vartan! Gaston Rebuffat (a French mountaineer) JC Killy, Diana Rigg, Mary Quant and… Coco Chanel, of course!

    • #100847

      Another interesting set of posts. My heroes were people who seemed ordinary but achieved remarkable things. As a tech-head Alan Turing and Ada Lovelace impressed me, my Maternal Grandmother was a willing participant in The Battle of Cable Street and fined 10/- for hitting a Policeman who was trying to arrest the person next to her, the paperwork is still in the family. My Grandfather was a socialist all his life and my Gran was his second wife, it took 18 months to get a divorce. During WW2 he rapidly barred white USAAF airmen from his pub due to ongoing problems, when he passed there were dozens of cards from those he’d kept in touch with.
      Finally Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin but not for Apollo 11 – Buzz worked out how people could move around and work in space helped by his love of diving. Neil was on Gemini 8 when everything went wrong and they were being thrown about close to blacking out. He regained control without his heartbeat rising more than a few BPM, re-entering very short on fuel he managed to get down safely a very long way from pickup. That ability got him the Moon Landing slot.

    • #96032

      growing up, I was confused… I did not know what transgender was, and I sure did not realize that I was one.  So, my role models tended to be tough men, like John Wayne and Lee Marvin, but I also gravitated to beautiful/ graceful women, like Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly… we watched a lot of old movies in my house.

      I was born a boy so I thought I should be like those tough guys, but it never quite felt right… and growing up, I never realized that my gravitation towards those women was not attraction, but rather longing to be like THEM.

      Now, I know and understand… so, as my wife recently asked, my ideal women (and role models): Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Julianne Moore, and Nicole Kidman… I also look at women like VP Kamala Harris, and Dr. Rachel Levine, for inspiration.


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #95577

      One role model is trans activist Andrea James,learned about her during my transition.She is still a role model of mine to this day,her story taught me I can make it through becoming the true self I am to this day


    • #94528

      From an early age I so wanted to be a woman and I dreamed of being an ingenue like some of the follow:   (1) Ann Marie (((my name sake))) That Girl (Marlo Thomas). (2) Samantha Stevens on Bewitches (Elizabeth Montgomery. (3) Audra Barley (The Big Valley) Linda Evans. (4) Audrey Hepburn.  (5)  Shelly Fabraes  (6) Mary Tyler Moore. (7) Debbie Reynolds. And many more

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #93326

      Only had and still have 1 role model.

      Audrey Hepburn…. Such class and beauty.


      If I can be even 80% of her in refinement and pose, I’ll be so happy

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #93389

        Lacey, I like Audrey as well, but she had that unbelievable skinniness. But of course I love Marilyn better and she had the unbelievable curves. Kind of funny to think that Marilyn thought of Audrey as the little brat, but what can you expect, I am sure they had their excitements.  But I can agree Audrey had better poise and refinement. And one of my fav movies of all times is Cleopatra. I wish some of todays generations would have more poise than they do.

        Love all ways,



        • #93403

          Yes, she was really skinny… Lol I’m sure I won’t have that problem though, I love food.

          Marilyn, was too…I don’t know, I just can’t see myself following in her foot steps.

          Audrey was more, look don’t touch… Where to me marilyn was look… And touch.

          I don’t really know how to explain it, just never really liked her. But, she’s a better role model than some girls today !





    • #91083
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Actually, I don’t think that I had any particular ones. There were many people that I liked something about their character or their accomplishments or how they went about their accomplishments. The people also spanned many different fields. I don’t think that I ever wanted to be like them, but I think it showed me what was possible…

    • #91067


      As a child born in 1956, it would have been hard to have a role model after my parents sent me to aversion therapy at age 5. My parents were models of what I would not be like as either a parent or as a person. My mothers nickname was spank first and ask questions later and my father was an emotionally distant authoritarian. But that is not the discussion here.

      I don’t think I have had a role model until recently and I would have to say that it is Kamala Harris. For a woman of Indian and Jamaican heritage she is a model that I think I could emulate.

    • #91054

      My role models are a cross section of male and female. When I was a man it was Steven Hawking, Muhammad Ali, Michio Kaku. Now as a woman.. Queen Elizabeth II, Judy Garland

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #91052
      Dawn J

      “Top” role models? Oh, let me see. There was Dolly, Raquel, Loni… 😀

    • #89977

      I am not sure I had role models , but I admired certain people both men and women .  I loved the Aer lingus Adds,  as I always admired the Airline Stewardess, they always looked so elegant and professional I wanted to be one of them.  My role models would be my Grandmothers , Mother and Sisters , all very strong, confident and successful Women . I loved watching Wonder woman and programs like that.  Women like Madonna, Lady Gaga, some other successful business woman .

    • #89975

      Growing up, I wasn’t one who really ever looked at anyone (female or male) as a role model. With that said, now that I’ve come to realize who I am, I find myself inspired more and more by powerful women (with no regard to political affiliation). But my absolute favorite – and the person I would most like to emulate in confidence, intelligence, compassion, elegance and beauty is Duchess Kate.

      Love Shawna

    • #89168

      Growing up, I guess female role models were all over the place. I really loved Mary Tyler Moore and Carol Burnett. I guess I looked up to them, but didn’t really have a grasp as to why so much. The Bond Girls, as somone mentioned, were of course beautiful and always to be admired. As it turns out in one of the early movies, Caroline Cossey famously was outed as transgender later on. I just finished one of her books, what a story. Nowadays I always view women, from all walks of life, as role models, the way the hold themselves, style, makeup. It all inspires me. As CC says above, I could never really emulate them at the time, but was enamoured of them none the less.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #89099
      Michelle Larsen

      My role models; hmm, not to be conceded, but ‘me’, ‘myself’, and ‘I’. I list those people because I do not want to compete with anyone on whether or not I am pretty enough, sexy enough, have the best hair, nicest clothes, etc. While I may look for ideas and suggestions, I don’t look to others as role models. Michelle

    • #35475

      None really, but looking back I had special interest and connection to Mon Mothma (Caroline Blakiston) in Star Wars as idealized strength and Charlie (Kelly McGuiness) in Top Gun as contemporary power.

    • #35467

      Parents and some other family members did have an influence, both male and female.

      When I was young it was Nancy and Peggy (the Amazons) from the Swallows and Amazons books and another Amazon, Wonder Woman.  The only ‘male’ role model I can think of that was outside of my family is Doctor Who.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #35468

        Ah Doctor Who, I never watched but they say in one of the new versions he was replaced by a female.  Funny how society has changed, Buck Rogers was casted by a female, and so was Robin Hood in the remakes.  The strong empowerment of action hero women will be the influencers and heroes of the next generations.  Kind of sad the ultra feminine hero’s like Cleopatra and such are getting replaced by action heroes. And what will happen to all those young men who should be a knight in shining armor to save the damsels if all the damsels save them selfs.  Personally I like the concept of a chivalry.  Just today I had an odd experience where a beautiful woman held the door for me like a gentleman would.  If i wasn’t spoken for I would have let her pursue me as well. 🥰




        • #35469

          I totally agree Miri about this slow change of societal roles. Wonder Woman was a very good movie, and a remake, but Gal Gadot has brought so much to the role that all the girls want to be WW now. All of the women want to be either Gal Gadot or with her, lol! Role changing is a perspective, point of view, and Gadot is a gorgeous woman. Who wouldn’t want to be either WW or her or be with her! Heroes and leaders whether charismatic or not should be aware of the latent capability they have of persuasion and their affect on change.
          Doctor Who I got hooked on when I was stationed in Germany during the early eighties. I was the only real SciFi show we got on AFN TV (armed forces network TV).
          Danielle 💋👠🦋👗

    • #35167

      For me it would have to be Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, Super Girl, The Lone Ranger, John Wayne, and Sally Fields. Odd mix but it does reflect my generation and what was relevant as a kid through my teen years. The Bond girls are a given as role models as they were either top models or actresses of the times and of course Seam Connery is the man! Anyway my generation was rife with role models to choose from and there was so much hope for the future of this country and the world. Alas, the abandonment  of the space shuttle program just Feels like a huge mistake. But my all time role model is Christa McAuliff. A school teacher from Ohio who was chosen to go up on a shuttle mission which ended in tragedy. How brave to be a non military person, a normal teacher, and go into the most hazardous environment known to man just to do some experiments to teach children. I mourn our loss of a true hero and a space program which was second to none.


      • #35168


        Princess Leia was of course a strong character but somehow my mind was set by the 1st (New Hope) movie and she was not as cool till the later movies.  Super Girl I liked in the new series and Cat from season 1 was a great character that I would have loved to have as a mentor.  To bad she left by season 2.  I even did a Kara costume for a Halloween party one year. Should have taken photos as I though I looked fabulous.  😊  Cat woman of course too.  Did her as a costume too but the Halloween event that year my spouse was along for the ride as Harley Quinn and I was out shined. 😄

        And I agree the gen X’s of the time had so much hope for the future, with tons of positive role models. I wonder what happened or did I just grow up and lose my blindness of youth.


        And yes I remember the shuttle disaster,  watched it live as it happened on TV from school😢.  As an Embry Riddle graduate 👩‍🎓 and sci-fi fan the space program has/had a special place in my heart for a very long time. And I can not agree more that defuncting the shuttle program was a greedy and bad move for the USA.  Should have been revamped however as the shuttles are relics of the past. My hope is the private sector will fill in the gaps.






        • #35171

          Hi Miri,

          That shuttle disaster was one I watched on TV at my last duty station in the USAF. We were in the middle of a war week (annual operational inspection) and we were all standing around in full chemical gear stunned. The inspection was canceled and flags went to half mast. Both shuttle disasters affected the world in different ways but I felt there was more which could have been done to revitalize the program after the second one. I still believe that the USAF space division will put a shuttle of some type into operation in the near future. Mankind’s future is not here on Earth but out beyond our solar system. If we don’t explore our solar system and beyond I feel Mankind will perish along with our planet. It may even be too late already at the rate of polar ice cap melt.

          Whew that was dark! Sorry! Christa will be a true hero in my heart. Firefighters and Police officers and the military are the true hero’s of the day, Teachers too just because of either protecting us or teaching us they are underpaid and overworked.

          Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗



    • #35156

      Although didn’t feel very close to either at the time both my parents had a great influence on my life . . . well duh you say? Both encouraged independence in all us 4 kids and were very supportive, accepting and loving (and which I tried to pass along to mine).

      People I admired/wish to emulate growing up? Catherine Deneuve & Lauren Bacall come to mind.

    • #35155
      Miss Cloé

      There were certainly a lot of people who influenced me, but I really can’t give a name of a role model.  I couldn’t really emulate a femme role model while buried deep in a closet and I never really quite understood even the traditional male role models.  That’s not to say I didn’t have great influencers in my life.  I did manage to raise two wonderful young adults and build a career.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #35146

      I think in later years it would be Quentin Crisp,the subject of Stings “An Englishman in New York”.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #118006

        Used to drink in his local pub in Hull. He had a big influence on us all I think.

      • #100855

        Thank you for mentioning Quentin Crisp!

Viewing 23 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

©2021 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa | Affiliate

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Transgender Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.