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Does anyone what to share their day? Did you have a good or bad day? Would you have do something different to make it better? Could you day have been worse, or could it have been better.
Everyday for me is different from the last, work, life, family, which hat I wear, changes from day to day and even from one moment to the next. What would have been nice, would have been able to relax and maybe make that phone call I know that will change my life. But family time was ok, Happy Birthday to my niece, who was nice enough to thank her Auntie for the wonderful and thoughtful give I got her. All in all, it was a wonderful day!!!!!!!!
Today I had a job interview. This interview was done over skype. It was a one on one interview but I was still afraid. I do not have a feminine voice but I am a woman. With the webcam on we started the interview. I introduced myself using on my legal name, Jason, rather than Jasmine. It appeared that he was taken back a little as I have my makeup on and appear fully fem. My state has discrimination laws protecting the transgender community but I still feared judgement. The companies website has an anti-discrimination policy which specifically states that they are equal opportunity employer for anyone regardless of gender preference, along with the normal items. Yet I still fear judgement. I believe the interview went well despite my nervousness and I hope to here back from them soon regarding the position. I will provide an update on this situation when it becomes available.
Thank you for reading.
Jasmine Gremory
Good luck Jasmine! My day was the normal type at work and the drive home. My stepson had the closing shift last night so my wife and I were able to talk a bit about us and what I really wanted. This was a bit more difficult than I originally thought. Our earlier conversations were about 10 minutes in length but last night we talked for a few hours. A full transition is prohibitive not just due to $ but it is too much for us both at this time. However HRT is on the list of “we can do that”! I will be scheduling appointments with a counselor today to begin my personal journey. Eventually I want to include my wife in these counseling sessions so we are together during this journey. I am scared, happy, anxious, proud, worried, apprehensive and absolutely giddy to begin my walk down this road. I do sincerely believe that I am a transgender woman. I do not hate my genitals, I love my wife and I am a woman ina male body! I am confused by this fact and reconciling this requires counseling. So today will be the first step to the rest of my life and I hope it will be with my wife by my side. TTFN💋👠
Danielle
My day not so good my friend been having the worst time with ex’s trying to do anything they can to mass with her life she means so much to me she’s the one that got me out of my shell and help me go out more as the real me now I’m trying to do my best to help her but with the fact she may lose her place has stressed me out I’m trying everything I can do to save her place but not getting far that my day so far
Oh Rose, that is so sad. Ex’s can be so damn vindictive! My first wife was horrible, so horrible that I left the state and my own family behind to get away from her! That was hard to do. I do hope you have better days going forward and I hope your friend doesn’t give up. Sending you hugs and love!
Danielle
[quote quote=6363]Today I had a job interview. This interview was done over skype. It was a one on one interview but I was still afraid. I do not have a feminine voice but I am a woman. With the webcam on we started the interview. I introduced myself using on my legal name, Jason, rather than Jasmine. It appeared that he was taken back a little as I have my makeup on and appear fully fem. My state has discrimination laws protecting the transgender community but I still feared judgement. The companies website has an anti-discrimination policy which specifically states that they are equal opportunity employer for anyone regardless of gender preference, along with the normal items. Yet I still fear judgement. I believe the interview went well despite my nervousness and I hope to here back from them soon regarding the position. I will provide an update on this situation when it becomes available.
Thank you for reading.
Jasmine Gremory
[/quote]
ok everyone, I did not get that job but good / better news. I went for a person to person interview with CVS Corporate office. Of course I went as Jasmine. This interview was for a contract to perm. position. My contracting agency had no idea I am transgender. They just thought I was Jason. After I had the interview, the agency emailed me and I had put, sincerely Jason (Jasmine) Lastname. On my paperwork that I included, they had a spot for other names used, as it was for a background check, and I put Jasmine. For those who don’t know, I have not legally changed my name yet. My recruiter called me and apologized for using the incorrect pronoun of sir and such. Well, I got the job and something amazing happened. I went in for my first day and the manager, who I spoke with named as Jason but appearing as Jasmine, well, he said good morning Jasmine. I was blown away because I did not give him that name. Everyone there calls me Jasmine and I am so happy. I have only been there for 2 days and it feels great. My trainer says she is not sure if my email and such will be listed as my preferred name but she is rooting for it to be so. Once on fulltime, I hope to change my name legally. I want to wait until full time as I will need time off and cannot due so as a temp accept doctor appointments. Well, I could but I have too many appointments and feel that the extra time off for a name change may further hinder my ability to come aboard fulltime. But I am still excited about it.Thanks for reading. I hope that this inspires you.
Jasmine
That is such great news Jasmine!! Woot woot! Congratulations girl you are workin it! That makes me so happy for you and it goes to show the saying of “Never give up” works. That was also cool to be called by your preferred name and everybody is so onboard with using your preferred name and pronouns. That is so very inspiring to see one of us move into the normal work world. Thanks for coming back and letting us know how it all worked out. Love and Hugs
Danielle
Last week, I had requested to meet with my HR department as I’m in transition and I’ll have to live full time as female for a year before my therapist will recommend me for for srs. I haven’t mentioned to anyone that I was doing this. I feared that the entire department would look at me and cast judgement amd male things hard. Long story short, last Friday, I came to work as Samantha amd had my meeting as Samantha and I was welcomed without any fear. My immediate boss even welcomed me. I’m so glad I decided to take that huge step and it jas been such a relief. I’m able to be Samantha and it feels amazing.
I found the same support at my employer. We need to consider ourselves blessed in that regard as many do not have this same experience, but things are changing. For anyone reading this, if your employer has an Employee Assistance Program or equivalent they are an even better place to start than HR as they can help you understand policies and resources before anyone at your company needs to know. Just remember HR represents everyone including your boss and is there to try and strike the balance. EAP’s are there to help you balance your personal and work life.
Hugs, Cloe
Jasmine:
Your story is so encouraging🤗
I am so happy for you🎉
Gloria
I once read an anecdote, true story, allegedly, about a marriage in which the man was a drinker. Not an alcoholic, necessarily, but a drinker. With time and effort, his wife weaned him from the bottle … and then discovered he was a far less interesting person.
We tend to think in terms of black and white. Why, I don’t know. Perhaps it’s the security that comes with bold boundaries. Admittedly, we need a secure foundation in order to venture into uncharted territory; that’s the way human beings seem to function. We are hopeless, aren’t we. 🙂
Personally, I interact better on line when I’ve had a few. It sort of washes away the crap that pollutes the ordinary mental conversation that goes on continually. Thank Goddess for alcohol.
I want to be Lacey Chabert. For those of you unfamiliar with the actress, she makes movies for the Hallmark Channel. She is so feminine.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. I look at what we were saddled with as a birth defect – not the fact that we’re female, but the fact that we got the wrong body for who we are. It’s a pretty profound defect, but there are others as profound as ours. I think of Stephen Hawking and Helen Keller. These are two people who could be forgiven for just sitting on the sofa and drinking themselves into oblivion; but, instead, they went on to accomplish more than most unafflicted people do. Keller in particular amazes me. Despite her disabilities, she became bilingual. It’s unimaginable. When trans people start feeling sorry for themselves, I think about Helen Keller. No matter what I achieve in my life, no matter how much I overcome, I will never be the woman she was. What an inspiration she is.
Trans women are so beautiful. I didn’t realize this, before coming out to myself. Before coming out to myself, I saw only the flaws, the ways we didn’t measure up. Now, I see the heart. I love my sisters. Their beauty does not rest in their conformity to cis norms, but in their fidelity to who they are, to their vision, and their attempt to be true to it.
Some time ago, after I had come out to myself but before I was presenting full-time, I was working for Walmart when I was approached by a trans woman for assistance. She may have only been a crossdresser; I don’t know. She was obviously not a cis woman; but she was beautiful. She took my breath away. I pray that I might always have such courage, because passing is so elusive. For so many trans women, passing is the be-all and end-all of existence; and the fact of the matter is, some of us will never pass. This Amazon didn’t pass; but she was beautiful. I wanted to fall at her feet and tell her so. We, too, can be beautiful; it’s more a matter of personal pride and integrity than anything else.
Although we are the constant victims of social injustice, I hope we never allow ourselves to become ensnared by the idea that politics is the answer to our problems. Power games have little to do with real life. Real life has to do with relations between people, one-on-one. This must have been true in the Soviet Union, and must be true in China today. It must also be true with us. I’m not saying we should dismiss the political scene; it’s real, and it affects us. But I do say that it shouldn’t be our primary focus. The will of the individual, as expressed in the vote, means very little; the whole system has been co-opted and corrupted by interests more powerful than we will ever be. We better serve our own best interests when we take food to a suffering neighbor, volunteer at a local charity, or help some individual in distress. Trans women are beautiful; suffering has made us so. Let suffering flower into compassion, rather than bitterness. All human beings suffer. We suffer in our way, they suffer in theirs. It’s all the same.
I thank heaven that I’m a woman. In any form, in any guise, with whatever attendant hardship, I get to be me. Cis people will never get this about us. I don’t know what cosmic plan made people like us possible. I don’t know what purpose it serves for us to be as we are. But I thank heaven I’m a woman, any kind of woman, because it’s who I am, and who I must be.
I’m having outpatient surgery on Monday. I’d be grateful for prayers, or any kind thoughts.
For what it’s worth.
My day has been the best day ever I found out my insurance will cover all my therapy and surgery. I have my first appointment with the doctor on January 30, 2019. Years ago I had a dream that I would not be alive after the year 2020, I think it is true in the since that my old male side will be dead and Rebecca will be alive to live the life I have wanted.
So today I got a gym membership and worked out for the first time in a long time. Realized just how out of shape I am. But my counselor used to be a fitness trainer and says he’s gonna work with me to design a workout I can do that will help me get a more masculine body shape. I’m finally taking the first step to making my body less feminine, while getting into a more healthy lifestyle at the same time. I’m excited, because if I can build some muscle and get rid of some of the more prominent curves I have in a natural way, it will be so much easier to go through the surgery to remove my breasts completely. I still haven’t decided if I want HRT yet, it has it’s benefits and it’s downfalls, but if I can get the same effects naturally without the negatives of HRT then I’m gonna try. The biggest things that I want but won’t be able to get with working out is a deeper voice and an end to my menstrual cycle, that I would need HRT for, but I’ll decide how to deal with that when I reach that crossroads. For now, I’m just excited that I made some progress today by getting a gym membership. Just gotta use it now.
Today was difficult. I hadn’t seen a dear friend for many months. She lived in New Mexico and recently returned to Charleston.
I had told her about my being transgender almost a year ago and our contact since has been painfully limited. I knew we were on fragile ground when she moved back home and didn’t call me.
After all this time, we finally got together. As we caught up, I realized that as long as we didn’t talk about me being transgender, everything would be okay. But it felt like if I moved the conversation in that direction, what was left of our relationship would quickly disappear.
Sadly, she is one of a very few people with whom I have shared my truth. I so hoped she would understand and accept me. Her initial reaction wasn’t good. But she is intelligent and I thought she would do some research and, with that as a starting point, she would become a strong support.
Eh…I guess it is never easy.
Dawn
Dawn, perhaps you could offer her some literature to read? Maybe she doesn’t know where to start. Any research needs to find that starting point.
Hugs, Cloe
I am a bus driver for King County Metro. It was never difficult for me and I have always been full time female at this job and got it after my surgery. I’ve had this job for about 3 years now and have never had a problem with anyone thinking that I’m anything but a woman and that is exactly how I like it. I guess having developed a feminine voice that it just comes natural for me to speak that way and no one even thinks that I’m a man. People say, yes ma’am to me all the time so having no issues makes it more comfortable for me. No one even knows or thinks that I was ever a man.
My day starts at 4:30am. It’s about a 15-20 minute drive from my house to the bus garage where I park and go punch in. Then I go into the garage and log into the bus I will be using, whatever bus is available. After that I start my bus up and get everything set up on the bus and put not in service on my header. Then I pull the bus out of the garage and drive to the transit station. Then I put the route on my header that I will be on and start my route. My first run is at 5:00am. It’s a lot of fun I love it. I use to like buses when I was young going to school for some reason and found out about this job and they called me. I have female on my drivers license and my drivers license picture matches my face so I feel really good and not worried at all about anyone second guessing me or giving me a second look.
The route that I am usually on it takes about 50 minutes to drive to the other end of the route on the bus. I drive this route up until 8:00 before taking my first break until 10:00 and then drive again until 1:00. Then I have one more run I do at 3:00 until 4:00.
I really like it and there are other women that are drivers as well so I don’t feel alone. There are men that drive as well. It’s really a nice job.
OMG, been waiting and waiting for my tax return so that I could girl up and personalize my wardrobe. My clothes came today! I finally have a secondsecon of long pants I can wear that actually go down to my feet! My second pair I ordered don’t go as far as I thought, but the other pair fit like a dream.
Got two shirts, one has a cute pastel Marvel logo and superheroes that I thought my boys would like. Wanted the DC shirt that just had girls on it, but the logo on this one is pretty. Got another cute shirt with cut out shoulders, my wife didn’t like that one.
Got my shoes yesterday. Finally have a pair of women’s shoes I can wear when I’m dressed! Sadly, ordered them a size too big. I’m 11/12 mens, ordered a 13. Also, they fit slightly better with my men’s socks, after I got a pack of Disney Princess socks to wear them with.
And I can’t wait to try on my dress! I finally have my own dress! Not allowed to wear it in front of the kids though…or my wife probably, she hates the thought…but I want to wear it SO BAD!
And the rest of my day was ok. Finally took my car to get fixed. Hope things turn out well.
Finally got to try on some of my clothes only got underwear got 3 new bras and 6 panties more now just wished I got matching pairs of bras with panties got a thing about that ….and got a nighty that wish I could wear this at home but go over to a friends house to dress for a day can’t wait for my first dress to come over there gonna be almost complete then………was girl day yesterday and loved it…
I can’t share my day with someone when I can’t talk to them. That is my biggest wish right now, just to openly talk to someone about all this. I am brave, and I am strong, but I am so incredibly alone.I’ll not allow myself to cry right now.Throughout my life, I’ve always managed to be the needy persons friend/helper/co-conspirator, whatever the person needed. Now at this singular time in my life, I need a “me”. The weight of silence is crushing. Am I tough enough? I better be. And my heart goes out to all those who are not as tough as I, although that remains to be seen. But I shall persevere. Ever onward. Anyone reading this that feels these things, have heart! Because if this does not break me, perhaps it will not break you either. Regardless of my outcome, I am still and ever will be that friend/helper, and I never have failed anyone in dire need. I wish I could clone myself, then I could help me, too.
David, I relate to your story so strongly, it could be me you are describing.
I have had people – complete strangers – walk up to me at a bus stop and within 3 minutes have launched into a regaling revery of the past, fascinating tales about fascinating people, the good the bad and the downright gruesome, and then… never see them again.
I used to think, wtf?!? And then I realized that they sensed in me that I’d seen my own struggles, and I could handle their shit, too. It’s a compliment in a very real way. But we need to be aware of some key signs that we need to put up a wall, at least for a time.
There are two types that call upon my ear – dump, laugh about it, heal and grow… and emotional vampires that will bleed you dry until it affects OUR good health.
I am still learning, too. Maybe we should chat privately?
Stephanie xo
Hey everyone
I had a happy but scary thing happen yesterday . I came out to all of you that i am transgender and hopefully soon will start the process. I told my long time friend yesterday and he was very supportive as i knew he would be. The hardest one was my cousin . She lives in new york . I was really scared to tell her but i worked up the courage. She took a little time to reply but she was very supportive. I dont belive i will tell anyone on my dads side of the family because wheni was 15 and felt complete and happy wearing womens clothing and dreamed i was a woman. I got punished for it twice. Its why ever since i have hidden it from the world.
When I was a kid in Toledo, our bus service was the Community Traction Company and later renamed Toledo Area Regional Transit Authority. They used to let the busses sit running in the shelter in the winter. It was cheaper to do that compared to draining the water and replacing it with anti-freeze. The oil shortages in the 70’s killed that, fortunately…
So, I did 3 things today…
- Up at 7am to get ready to go to the senior center in Palm Springs for the Friday edition of Improve My Balance. It is a movement and exercise class aimed at maintaining and improving our balance as we age in order to prevent falls. There is also a Wednesday session that I attend also. Packed house this week as the snow birds who spent Christmas at home have returned.
- Since I am usually in a rush to clean up, do makeup and get dressed, I usually don’t have time to eat anything before I go to class. After class I often go to a favorite bar and grill in downtown Palm Springs for breakfast. It tends to be quiet as it is between the breakfast crowd and the lunch bunch.
- The last adventure today was to the grocery store. Quick trip today as it was only $50.
I get misgendered maybe 10% to 20% of the time, but mostly it is the correct “yes, Ma’me” and “thank you, Ma’me”. What I’ve noticed is that when I am not dressed and presenting as Don (about 10% to 20% of the time) it feels odd to hear “Yes, Sir”. It isn’t a problem for me, but something has definitely shifted. It wasn’t terribly long ago that it felt so good to be addressed as “Ma’am”, but now that seems just quietly appropriate…
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