For years I spent my time just enjoying the privacy of dressing in the closet telling myself it was enough, but never being complete. I had attempted to come out in my 20’s and did so poorly, but let my need to help others ahead of my own. I wasn’t even admitting to myself who I was. This need has been a life long satisfier and dissatisfier. You see, since coming out again , I’ve learned that I can’t help others be happy without being happy with myself first. But, before I knew that I lived it. In the final throws of fighting it I became an ogre to my wife and daughter. Worse yet, I knew exactly what the cause was. I needed to be me, whomever that was. So as a person of faith I first dealt with that. It was through that exchange that I learned it was going to be OK. For the first time in my life I had really laid it all out in front of someone who meant everything to me and I had not only survived it, I had found peace and acceptance, as they say “warts and all”.
I would love to engage you all in a discussion of your “warts and all” moment. If you haven’t had it yet then I encourage you to join anyway. No judgements here, just a happy girl who is now able to deal with the needs of others around me.
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