The need for a label

[Emily Sis]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>If one were to go back into my youth they would find a very scared and confused person.  Back then, I was not sure then why I was different but back then I had to put it away…. bury it.  I hid myself in books and I would take myself to those far away places I read about.  My family was a very anti LGBTQ home.  Things happened to make me push my true feelings into the ground.  Then I escaped to college, by this time I was a regular “guy” but I was a panty wearing one.  In the closet per se…  I met a girl, whom was a great love of mine.  Eventually I said I wanted to wear panties to her, she laughed… I wore panties.   We ended up having a great time but then she pushed me away after I started wanting more feminine wear.  Eventually we broke up and I found myself dressing in lingerie and bras etc and slips… all while being the rough tough “guy” none of my roommates or friends knew I had a big pile of panties and slips and such.  I meet some men during this time of my self discovery and it was a good as I remembered it from years ago.  Its just a phase I was in…  Then I meet my wife… great woman,  I move in, purged all me feminine stuff, I don’t need that anymore.   Soon I find myself regretting that decision.   I eventually tell my wife I want to wear panties.   She wasn’t too keen buy accepted it.  Then she tries like a sweetheart to find mens underwear that would be suitable because I like the fabric… remember,  I was a man still as lables go… a straight man.  Fast forward, and here I am today, but what label? Transgender? Gender-queer? Gender Fluid?  I know I am not a crossdresser, I only own womens clothes (save for some jeans I need for cutting wood etc for winter firewood.)  I for one, hate labels.   When I came out to my wife I said I was gender fluid, why? Because I fear what she may think, after a life of hearing my family speak ill towards Transgender or queer or gays… whatever derogatory word was used… I still couldn’t say I am Transgender… yet I am… I want everyone here to know, though I do not present as female, I AM TRANSGENDER.  I love the real me, but only I know Emily.   Thank you for reading.   Sorry if I offended anyone.</p>

[DeeAnn Hopings]

I don’t think you said anything that is offensive as far as I can tell.

Many people get hung up on labels, but I would suggest thinking of them as descriptions and shorthand. If I wanted to tell someone how things sat for me I could say:

• I identify as Transgender, Non-Binary, Lesbian (6 words)

Or:

• I identify as Transgender because I realized that I have always been an amalgam of male and female thoughts, energies and perspectives. I am Non-Binary because I am neither completely male nor completely female in my thinking. I am primarily attracted to women. (43 words)

Which is easier?

In terms of the various descriptive words, here are a couple of sets of definitions. There are many others, but I knew where to find these 2 quickly. Note that there will be a bit of variance in how the terms are defined.

https://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender
https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms

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