the wasted years

  • Creator
  • #110149
    Selene Walker

    so my names Selene, or at least it is now, I literally just joined and for a very good reason, since i was a teenager I have found immense pleasure wearing clothes that allowed me to imagine I was in the right body, now me being me, I hate confrontation and will do most anything to avoid it, seeing how society reacts to anything different, I decided not to kick the dog one more time, so I spent the next 4+ decades hidden, until now, although I will still not go out in public I can at least become part of a community that lets me be who I think I should be. hopefully this is that place, pleased to meet you all.


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  • Author
    • #110453
      Emily Alt

      Welcome to TGH Selene!

      While much of what you described resonates, I have to respectfully disagree with the title of your post. I don’t consider the decades I spent denying my true gender identity to be a waste. I don’t think you should either. Give yourself a break.

      There are no prescribed timetables. Each of us has our own path. It takes however long it takes to discover who we are. Some of us simply need more time. The years we spend denying our true identity provide countless data points that ultimately confirm we are on the right path. I am entirely sure this is what I want. I couldn’t have confidently made this decision 10 or 15 years ago.

      Hugs, Emily

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #110207

      Hi Selene,

      I am Lukcia.  I just posted a public message to Timmie.  It was in response to concerns similar to your’s.  Please click on my icon and go to Public Messages to read.

      Sharing is caring



    • #110173

      Hi Selene, I just arrived here too.  I relate a lot to what you described.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #110169
      Terri Anne

      Hi Selene,

      Welcome. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore to your heart’s content.

      The warmth and hospitality of our site is just awesome.

      You will make many friends here and one day will say to yourself ” I am home”.

      Please do make use of the forums, articles and public chat room and friendships offered here.

      As a member, you can contact any of us via private messages.

      Also, you may find what you need such as help by using the links in the R/H drop down 3 bar [hamburger ] menu.

      Thanks for your participation on the site.

      Regards,   Terri Anne, Ambassador

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #110163
      DeeAnn Hopings


      Very good that you found us! I hope this will be a great experience for you.

      I think what happens is that many of us get to the point where we see that there is no benefit in continuing as we were. That’s when stuff starts to happen. Even thought things could have started to move forward at an earlier point, I often think that while something could happen, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is the right time.

      We begin to consider where we are, where we need to be and start to gather the resources needed to get there.  Many here have found that working with a therapist is a very useful resource. Often our minds will allow ourselves to drift away from thinking about things that are stressful or are likely to cause great change in our lives. Unfortunately nothing will ever get resolved or figure out in that state. What a therapist will do is to help maintain focus on the issues that need to be thought about. However, what is important is to find a therapist who is experienced in gender issues. There are many good therapists out there, but not everyone has the needed experience or interest.

      Also, please complete your Profile page. It is often helpful to other members as they can see what your situation is and where you are headed. The Profile page will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time.

      If you would like to search for other members nearby in the UK, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #110150

      Hi Selene,


      welcome I have been a member since Dec. 2020, I came out at age of 60 in Oct.2020, so I know what it is like to hide and I got really good at, I’m not proud of that having to lie to the people I love and lying to myself for all those years.                                                                                                                                            I can say that I have never been more happier of who I am, it is a hard road and I have had second thoughts at time, they go away quicker and quicker each time I run into this feeling.                                   Selene it’s a feeling that never goes away for me, every morning getting dressed and putting on my makeup to go to work or to play and go out. I wish you all the best.

      Bigg Huggs                                                                                                                                                                   timmie

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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