I transitioned to living as Lauren less than three months ago. I knew very well that I was embarking on a journey unlike anything I had ever experienced. Last weekend, I was spending some time listening to some favorite music and meditating, trying to discern just where my path was taking me. At times life can seem like a puzzle, where you’re trying to find where all the pieces fit, sometimes, however, they all fall into place and you can see the picture. As I considered where I’ve been, and where my path leads me, I realized I have come to a fork in the road. The fork that was beckoning me was to the left and was marked by a large question mark. My meditating was pondering this and asking: who, why, how and where. Who am I? Why am I? How am I and where am I? I know who I am and have always been, I am a trans woman named Lauren. Why am I begs the question that I was born this way, but also asks, why am I doing what I am doing? How asks, how am I going to do it?
While quietly letting these thoughts swirl in my mind, I had the most emotional encounter that I recall ever having. It was as if a warm, comforting presence, almost like a liquid, was being poured out all over me. I felt so overwhelmingly feminine, the tears were flowing and I knew…
…You are Lauren, you are a trans woman and you are loved, you are called to be here for others, and you will know what to do when the opportunities presents themselves.
When I arrived at work on Monday there was a card waiting at my desk. It was from a girl who works there. She wrote how proud she was of me for being so brave and making the courageous journey I’m on, and that because of my example she was able to come out herself as being gender fluid. A short time later, another lady who I work with came up to the desk, voiced the same message and we both erupted in tears.
I have been told how unique my position is as a noticeable person in a very public place, that I am viewed as a role model and highly respected as an example of what a transgender woman is, and that I am like an ambassador for transgender people.
This is my path, and taking the fork in the road has lead me to this place and this time. It is the right path and I am overjoyed to be on it!
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