Top Surgery!

  • Creator
  • #92843

    Hey! I’m new here and was wondering if any of you have a similar situation to mine? I’m 10 months on T and enjoying every minute of it, except my family is in deep denial about my bi\trans identity. I’m literally growing a beard and my family is still dead naming me, using the wrong pronouns, etc. I absolutely love them, but have accepted that they will never come around. I’ve been out for 8 years now and have been patient with them, but it seems like no matter how much I correct them or educate them, they continue to spew slurs and say transphobic\homophobic shit. They love me, but not for who I am.

    Now I’m saving up for top surgery, having consultations, and figuring out a plan for someone to take care of me post-op. I’m aware you shouldn’t bind for more than 8 hours, but the only time I take off my binder is to shower. I’m an avid runner and bodybuilder, yet I bind during those times, too. Asthma and permanent bruising on my chest from binding all my life are also issues I deal with on a daily basis. We love dysphoria!

    How do I navigate top surgery if my family doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m trans? Is anyone else dealing with something similar to this or have any advice? Thank you for reading.

    Take care,


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  • Author
    • #92880
      DeeAnn Hopings

      We’re at 9200+ members, but there’s only a fractions that are active. People come and go depending on what is happening for them or not happening for them. From my observation it is a pretty dynamic group. There are also ones that get removed because they think the rules don’t apply to them.

      Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory. From there you can search the membership and folks are all over the world, but the UK is the 2nd largest population at over 1,000.

      Also, there are interactive videos, but I admit that I don’t have any experience with them. In the menu, click on Video and you can see what’s going on. However, I have various volunteer and civic things going on, so I don’t have much time left over.

      Anyway, see if there is anything of interest in the videos. If not, I encourage making some suggestions. Also, check out the F>M Chat Room and see who drops in!

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #92852
      DeeAnn Hopings


      While this is outside of my field of experience, do know that you are among friends.

      Good Luck and Be Well,


      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #92870

        That means a lot to me, thank you! 🙂

        • #92871
          DeeAnn Hopings


          It is important to me also. Many come here with little or no prior contact with other trans people. Isolation is a very sad thing to me because we do have ways to combat that. Unfortunately, everyone doesn’t know about us. At various times, I’ve been on other sites like this, but so far this one is the best. Some are not moderated very well. Some are very slow in terms of activity and in others, the inmates are running the asylum…

          • #92878

            Agreed, it is an isolating experience. Hopefully more trans and non-binary individuals join. Maybe we, as a community, can promote the website or do some sort of weekly discussion to help connect us?

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