Trans Etiquette

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

  • Creator
  • #794

    Mia West

    What name do you prefer? Why is it important to respect peoples pronouns? Asking questions and how do you ask questions?  What pronouns would you like me to address you with? I think its not just important to adapt how we address others on TGH but, also just as important how we carry that out into our lives with us. For some this maybe a really new concept. There are a lot of variants as far as gender is concerned within the Trans community. Its not binary, not black and white, rather a spectrum based on preference. There are those that will identify male or female. Gender fluid, meaning depending on the situation gender fluid people will identify as either as to the situation they are in. There are also those that are not gender dependent. Androgynous or gender neutral for a lack of better words and may prefer different pronouns  such as They, Them, and Their. So how do you know? You ask respectfully.


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  • Author
  • #13296

    I recognize acceptance an normalcy of transgenderism as part of the human spectrum and away from binary identification is a process just really beginning. Add to it the cultural biases against non binary expressions and our relatively small population percentage and the battle is very uphill. That said our open numbers are growing as the constrictions of binary gender become pathological and , especially men  realize the model of male expression is a death sentence for some of us.

    As I study and learn more each day I see how we are the canaries in the coal mine of our unhealthy society and our emergence will not be denied for much longer.

    native cultures recognize five genders. I feel there may be more but that is a place to begin. I am a femme I want to physically be a femme. I do not wish to full transition with bottom surgery but FFS and orchiectomy are imperative for me. So I am a femme and now that I know this I can go forward being my true self as a non binary gender fluid femme. Society has a lot of work accepting reality but as our number continue to grow into the light there will be a civil right movement for gender  my prayer it is not marked with violence


  • #10369
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador


    Some get offended at the question even.  I try not to use personal pronouns if there is a doubt un my mind until something else reveals the preference or someone else who already has the answer speaks up.

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  • #2474
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 


    Hi Mia!  Great article! I have been reading a lot about conversing WITH people and not at them. I was an officer in the Military and a Medic. I am also descended from Royalty in Europe, all-though born in Canada. I was so used to speaking at people and giving orders and that was hard to over-come. Thankfully, I have over-come that trait. The “Act” part was slower in coming….battlefield you know. Now I listen first……yes some people do prefer a title or classification that they can be comfortable with. A books cover never tells you what is inside until you “open it”. Unless you are reading a training manual. I possess the “Sir or Dame” title but if it is not used in addressing, I don’t care. I use Dame with CDH and TGH just to differentiate me from other Veronicas,  LOL.

    Etiquette and diplomacy are a must in dealing with people……..although same is often not deployed by most people to-day. That is sad and creates a great deal of misunderstanding and hostility. These two items should be taught in school….makes for a more genteal world     (a new word from me, so as not to offend Gentiles). Take care…..perhaps more articles about decorum are forthcoming????? Thank you.

    Dame Veronica

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

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  • #2402
     Jaime P. 


    It’s tricky even asking.  I have one androgynous-looking co-worker.  I asked the person “What’s your preferred pronoun.”  They didn’t understand what I was asking.  After two weeks, I found out that they preferred “she”.


    If there is any confusion about your gender or name, it’s up to you to correct and inform the person misgendering you.  I know that gets tiring.  People judge the book by the cover more then we like to admit.


    I think the thing that everybody needs to remember is just be respectful.  Apologize when you make a mistake.  It’s also our responsibility as a transgender person not to be mean to someone when they make a mistake with you.  Again, it’s get tiring having to take the high road all the time.  It will pay off later on.

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