Trans Etiquette

This topic contains 5 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Tia 1 month ago.

  • Creator
  • #794

    Mia West

    What name do you prefer? Why is it important to respect peoples pronouns? Asking questions and how do you ask questions?  What pronouns would you like me to address you with? I think its not just important to adapt how we address others on TGH but, also just as important how we carry that out into our lives with us. For some this maybe a really new concept. There are a lot of variants as far as gender is concerned within the Trans community. Its not binary, not black and white, rather a spectrum based on preference. There are those that will identify male or female. Gender fluid, meaning depending on the situation gender fluid people will identify as either as to the situation they are in. There are also those that are not gender dependent. Androgynous or gender neutral for a lack of better words and may prefer different pronouns  such as They, Them, and Their. So how do you know? You ask respectfully.


  • Author
  • #33437


    It is nice to hear the masses address me correctly but I am easy to get along with. It has never been a deal breaker nor do I hold it against anyone for not properly addressing me. I carry myself as a Tom-boy during working hours. I work with wood, …. Wait…. ahhh what the heck,  we’re adults here, BOTH TYPES and I wear my hat backwards, orange socks with work boots, One time I wore my skimpy “daisy Dukes” with a tank top and hiking boots. etc. as a matter of fact I sometimes chuckle to myself as to how ridiculous I sometimes leave my apt thinking, “I wonder how many stares and people shaking their heads will this get me. And I found out something cool. When you don’t give a damn and go further than they are willing to go, they simply laugh and compliment you with a simple “yea girl, you go”. if they get nasty I flash em a boob. BUT that is how I deal with it.                                                                         Huggz   Tracee

  • #33376
     Stephanie Jones 


    Are we not overlooking the obvious perhaps. All re-definitions seem to be, yet “another way of saying trans”.

    Am I being too simplistic? Maybe so. I am proud to be called Trans, but if asked I would say CD. That is where I land on the transgender curve. However, I am seriously considering surgical accentuating, etc.


    Stephanie xoxoxo

  • #10369
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador


    Some get offended at the question even.  I try not to use personal pronouns if there is a doubt un my mind until something else reveals the preference or someone else who already has the answer speaks up.

    3 users thanked author for this post.
  • #2474
     Dame Veronica Graunwolf 

    Hi Mia!  Great article! I have been reading a lot about conversing WITH people and not at them. I was an officer in the Military and a Medic. I am also descended from Royalty in Europe, all-though born in Canada. I was so used to speaking at people and giving orders and that was hard to over-come. Thankfully, I have over-come that trait. The “Act” part was slower in coming….battlefield you know. Now I listen first……yes some people do prefer a title or classification that they can be comfortable with. A books cover never tells you what is inside until you “open it”. Unless you are reading a training manual. I possess the “Sir or Dame” title but if it is not used in addressing, I don’t care. I use Dame with CDH and TGH just to differentiate me from other Veronicas,  LOL.

    Etiquette and diplomacy are a must in dealing with people……..although same is often not deployed by most people to-day. That is sad and creates a great deal of misunderstanding and hostility. These two items should be taught in school….makes for a more genteal world     (a new word from me, so as not to offend Gentiles). Take care…..perhaps more articles about decorum are forthcoming????? Thank you.

    Dame Veronica

    Dame Veronica Graunwolf

    6 users thanked author for this post.
  • #2402
     Jaime P. 


    It’s tricky even asking.  I have one androgynous-looking co-worker.  I asked the person “What’s your preferred pronoun.”  They didn’t understand what I was asking.  After two weeks, I found out that they preferred “she”.


    If there is any confusion about your gender or name, it’s up to you to correct and inform the person misgendering you.  I know that gets tiring.  People judge the book by the cover more then we like to admit.


    I think the thing that everybody needs to remember is just be respectful.  Apologize when you make a mistake.  It’s also our responsibility as a transgender person not to be mean to someone when they make a mistake with you.  Again, it’s get tiring having to take the high road all the time.  It will pay off later on.

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