Turning Points

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    Topic
  • #33287
    Stephanie Jones
    Participant

    Just a snapshot. I lived with my very first real girlfriend from 18 to 25… I loved her emotionally and as a person…. we came from such different words, and she introduced me to such things as trust and kindness. I had not seen these things up close or consistently… few and far between. I sometimes would get this surreal sence that our life took place on the set of Leave it to Beaver, lol.

     

    Anywho, to dive in, things were already shaky between us at the end, and she came home unexpectedly to find me lying on the coach, naked expect for my secret panties( I kept tucked at the back of my sock drawer… ya, that’ll fool her!!) enjoying myself.

    A thousand images whirled through my mind. I am mortified, she will never be able to see me as a man again, let alone her man. Some people are cut and dried, unlike ourselves. Long ol’ story short, we did the standard breakup/makeup for a year, then she dumped me.

     

    I got a strong sense from my sister, Wendy that Michelle had said something to her about the incident… I was too bummed a the time, and didn’t have the energy to give a shit just then. But as time went by and I began to heal up, I began to draw comfort from her reaction to this. Up until then I assumed they would judge and reject me. As round about the topic as that convo with my sister was that day, 27 years ago, it was the first time my shoulders relaxed since I was nine…. they didn’t hate me!!! They just didn’t know what the right thing was to say.

     

    With the hindsight that comes with time, it has shown and proved itself to be a major turning point in my life, and my very first step toward accepting my “deviant” ideas about sexuality, and the unforgivable “sin” of being born primarily gay/trans….

     

    Whew, that’s a load off!! Anyway,  that’s my turning point story 🙂

     

    Hugs,

    Stephanie xo

    1 user thanked author for this post.
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    • #33350

      Thanks Dasia. I need have a good vent over it all, now I just feel exhausted. I think I need to focus just on my own stuff for now. That’s all I have energy and space for

       

      Cheers,

      Stephanie xo

    • #33344

      I apologize for my reaction, ladies. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now, and I’m trying to scrape some of it off right now,  at least for the time being.

       

      I am taking a much needed break from a friend who has been on suicide watch on and off for 2 years. I realized that I have lost my empathy and compassion.  Enough said.

       

      At the same time I have a friend and bandmate struggling to quit drinking.  He’s doing well, but going through a hermit phase that concerns me.

       

      One bright point is that I received an offer on the cottage. I don’t use it anymore,  and I could use the extra money.  Fingers crossed…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #33347

        Stephanie,

        I feel ya on the “a lot on your plate” thing. Me, too. Sounds like you could use a counselor to talk to about your life right now. I just called on one today. Felt good to chat to someone for an hour about so much stuff. From being discriminated against at school, on the job and around town to dealing with my partner who’s suffering from fibromyalgia to politics to having a judge deny my right to have my name on my marriage certificate and now what…I get it. BIG HUG, Stephanie and welcome back to TGH, sister.

        Hey…huge congrats on selling your cottage! It’ll be nice to have some new funds and get rid of having to maintain something you don’t use.

        Warm smile,

        Dasia

        she/her/hers

    • #33316

      Expression or conformity? I was contacted today regarding a very brief description of a sexual act in this post. It was a key part of the story but not really the point of it at all. It was about emotional growth, and the realization that it was okay to be trans.

       

      I am a colorful character, a guitarist in a progressive rock band photographer and artist. If I can not express myself as I am, and I’m forced to conform to something that I am not, then I think this site has ceased to serve its purpose for me. I’m already gone

       

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