Two weeks ago my life changed, and I will never be the same.

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    • #138695
      Lauren Mugnaia

      The Woman Inside, Lauren’s Journey

      Two weeks ago my life changed, and I will never be the same.

      As many of you may know, these blog entries are part of a book I am writing about my journey. I, like many trans people with similar stories, always knew from early childhood that I was “different”. I always felt, and knew, that I was supposed to be a girl. Two years ago, while recovering from open heart surgery, I faced and accepted the reality that I was transgender, and it was time to set the woman inside free to be herself.

      I spent literally months learning everything I could about being transgender. I realized the time had come for me to transition to living my life authentically, as the woman I always felt I truly was, a trans woman. So I transitioned 16 months ago and have been living and working as a woman, fully accepted, affirmed, and cared for by the people I work with and others who are a part of my new life.

      Two weeks ago, that all changed. I had developed a medical issue that required a trip to the emergency room of the local hospital. After tests were done and spending time in the waiting room I was introduced to a lady doctor who spent the next hour talking with me. The details are in my previous post. What she told me is why my life will never be the same. I am more than transgender, I am intersex, I truly am, a woman.

      I have been on an emotional roller coaster since hearing her say to me, “Lauren, you are a woman!” I’ve been spending many hours trying to learn everything I can about being an intersex person. There’s a lot to learn, there are over 40 variations in the intersex spectrum and each and every intersex person is unique. I’ve spent hours thinking about my past life, questioning what it would have been like if I had known this years ago. The emotions have been overwhelming at times, and many tears have been shed. I will be referred to an Endocrinologist and will know more information after that.

      The emotional roller coaster has taken me from feeling so happy and thrilled that I get giddy, to feeling regret when I spend time looking into the past year of my life.

      The Journey continues.
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    • #138698


      oh darling, if I could I’d wrap you in a hug, n say things hoping to comfort you. I know you wanted to know n feel cheated n lied to  or I’d guess you do, and on some level I think you’re right.

      I’ve always felt different with unusual thoughts I suspect other cis males did not have, n at times wonder if I’d acted much earlier..maybe, but then like that old Jimmy Stewart movie  maybe you’ve done some pretty important things as AMAB so, would you erase them all? I guess that’s what you ponder at 315 am ..

      does a dignosis like that make you feel..more sure or vindicated somehow?I know in my doubtfilled times I sometimes wonder if I’m pushing the issue as I’ve been told by my hating family..but a medical find..I might find oddly supportive of my feelings n obsession to live not as I was assigned at birth.

      I’m sorry baby..we still love n treasure you just like you are

      I wish you best dear


    • #138699
      DeeAnn Hopings


      That’s a very interesting piece of information and glad that it has been discovered. Unfortunately there’s a lot that the general public doesn’t know about intersex people and that shows itself in various ways. Some continue using the outdated term of hermaphrodite. Others assume that being intersex is visibly obvious. Sometimes it is, but many times it is not. Many don’t know until tests for some other condition reveal some additional information. Just something else where the general populace assumes that they know more than what they actually know.

      • #138700
        Lauren Mugnaia

        Hi DeeAnn,

        Very true! I wouldn’t have found out unless I had to go to ER and have a doctor study my medical records for a few hours before meeting with me. I’m part of an ongoing extensive study on aging and every three years I have an assortment of tests done, lung capacity, mobility, height, weight, cognitive tests, EKG, bone density and they collect nine vials of blood. This year I was there for the 1st time as a trans woman and they were delighted to be able to see what differences that would make. Evidently, because of the changes, my blood was extensively tested.
        The results, the major one being that I possess what is called a micropenis, along with other more feminine physical attributes I have always had, were what the doctor based her information on.

    • #138731
      DeeAnn Hopings
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