Uhhh…

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #131101
    Natalie Dixon
    Participant

    Hello.

    I joined a while ago.  Yes, I saw that people write and “introduce” themselves when I joined but, I didn’t do it right away.  To be honest, I’m absolutely terrified to be writing this now.

    I know it may seem odd to be afraid to write something when I’m pretty much just an anonymous person behind a screen that no one can see or affect but, I am.  Ya know the girl in horror movies that sees what’s coming, and let’s out that blood curdling scream?  That’s how I feel.  Why?  Because, in over forty years of feeling the way I do, I’ve never spoken to anyone about it.  Not in person, not on paper, not even from behind a screen, as I’m doing now.  In fact, my only…(release?)…has been occasional dressing, and writing a diary.  So, until now, no one has ever known that when a Cis Girl walks by, smiling and laughing, it literally hurts in my heart, like I’ve been stabbed.  (I was stabbed once, just not in the heart, obviously.)

    So, I joined this site thinking it was just a chat room, that I could pop in, pretend I’d gone AFK, and observe the conversation.  When I saw it was a sort of standard to write an introduction post, I asked myself, “What am I supposed to say?”  I kind of freaked out, and didn’t come back for a while.  I still don’t know what I’m supposed to say.  Coming here, I just wanted to see if I could find a plausible reason as to why I feel the way I do.  And, I’m a Virgo so, “just because” isn’t good enough for me.  So, I’ll come in, I’ll read, and I’ll hope to find answers.  And, MAYBE I won’t pretend to be AFK once in a while.

    I’m not sure if this accomplished what it was supposed to, or intended to.  If not, well, maybe there’s a questionnaire somewhere?

    6 users thanked author for this post.
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    • #131246
      Carly Holloway
      AMBASSADOR - EDITOR

      Hi, Natalie, and welcome to TGH.  I am so glad you found us.  Your story is very much similar to mine, and a lot of other girls here.  I recall those days of panic and fear and shame, and being so wound up that it was hard to function.  And I remember when I was too afraid to reach out to anyone, let alone an anonymous web site, for help.

      But, you’re here now, and I look forward to getting to chat with you one of these days.   Until then, I hope you can kick off your shoes, sit back, and just enjoy what you find here.  We all need support, help, friends, comfort, and, well…..time to smile and laugh.  I am happy to say that I find all this, and more at TGH.

      The MTF chat room is usually going strong, morning or night.  Just chime in whenever you feel up to it.  Keep on exploring articles and forums.  Most of all, I encourage you to be at home with us.  Ain’t nobody here but us.

      Peace and love

      Corly

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #131213

      Welcome Natalie, this is a wonderful place to be, whether you’re just trying to stay safe, come out, or consider transition, you can feel safe here and feel free to talk about whatever is on your heart. We’re all in the same boat together and here to encourage and hold each other up. We’re glad you checked us out and happy to have you on board!

      Hugs,

      Lauren M

    • #131129
      Brielle
      SILVER

      Hi Natalie, I was where you are only several months ago. Now I’m actively transitioning and about to live my authentic life. I’m not saying you will find the same path, just that being able to just post and chat with like-minded people is incredibly theraputic.

      I hope you can find many new empathetic friends here as I have. I have gotten nothing but loving, caring replies to some tough issues. Sometimes they can be a bit of “tough love” but it was usually warranted.

      Hugs,

      Brie

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #131113
      Terri Anne
      AMBASSADOR

      Hello Natalie,

      Welcome to our TransgGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Wonderful, Accepting, Loving, Helpful Community where you can be safe and be yourself.
      The Warmth, Compassion and Hospitality of our community members can be found throughout the site.
      You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.

      Glad you are here,
      Terri Anne, Ambassador

      ======= Here is a link to the MtoF Chat room: ========
      https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/

      =========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
      https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #131108
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      Natalie:

      Glad that you are with us and I hope it will be beneficial as your journey continues!

      Rest assumed that many others have felt, or are feeling, similar emotions to what you describe. For all of us, coming out to ourselves is the first step. That is the foundation upon which everything else is built. It requires that we be honest with ourselves and begin to internalize what we know is true. Further, it is not the work of a minute. Trying to rush through this gains no points.

      The Introduction is pretty straightforward. Probably the vast majority of us never met any of the other members before joining, so the question is how do we begin to get a sense of the story and path of others? Since we are unlikely to meet physically, how do we let people know our histories, how we feel about the idea of gender identity, where things sit for us now and where do we want to be headed in the future? Having a sense of the other members is a step towards building community.

      Now, there are 2 parts to this and they are not really interchangeable. One is posting here in the Introductions forum and the other is the Profile page. You can include much of the same information about yourself, but know that eventually all threads sink to the bottom of the pile and get archived. You can still search for them, but it takes a bit. Posts are usually intended for more immediate interactions with folks. The Profile page asks some fairly specific questions along with areas to just write. The page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time if something changes for you. Think of it as a reference that helps others get up to speed as far as what is happening for you.

      Anyway, after a while the anxiety will subside as you interact more with the members. Part of the reason this site was created was to counteract the isolation that many trans folks feel. That is understandable if you live in a remote small town. On the other hand, there are many that feel isolated even though they live in a metropolitan area. The problem is connecting with others in the community and that is very important. It is called “Finding Your Tribe”. It reinforces the idea that we are not twisting in the wind by ourselves.

      So, take a deep breath and tell us what is in your heart…

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #131104

      So glad your here! Your story sounds a lot like mine and a lot of other girls!  Your at the right place! Hugs..Jenn

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #131102
      Shiloh
      FREE

      Welcome to TGH, we are all happy that you found your way here and hope you find here to be a good place to get involved, find friends, find information.
      We are all on a journey of discovery, each different and yet each helps one another.
      Shiloh Rose

      2 users thanked author for this post.
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