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I joined a while ago. Yes, I saw that people write and “introduce” themselves when I joined but, I didn’t do it right away. To be honest, I’m absolutely terrified to be writing this now.
I know it may seem odd to be afraid to write something when I’m pretty much just an anonymous person behind a screen that no one can see or affect but, I am. Ya know the girl in horror movies that sees what’s coming, and let’s out that blood curdling scream? That’s how I feel. Why? Because, in over forty years of feeling the way I do, I’ve never spoken to anyone about it. Not in person, not on paper, not even from behind a screen, as I’m doing now. In fact, my only…(release?)…has been occasional dressing, and writing a diary. So, until now, no one has ever known that when a Cis Girl walks by, smiling and laughing, it literally hurts in my heart, like I’ve been stabbed. (I was stabbed once, just not in the heart, obviously.)
So, I joined this site thinking it was just a chat room, that I could pop in, pretend I’d gone AFK, and observe the conversation. When I saw it was a sort of standard to write an introduction post, I asked myself, “What am I supposed to say?” I kind of freaked out, and didn’t come back for a while. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Coming here, I just wanted to see if I could find a plausible reason as to why I feel the way I do. And, I’m a Virgo so, “just because” isn’t good enough for me. So, I’ll come in, I’ll read, and I’ll hope to find answers. And, MAYBE I won’t pretend to be AFK once in a while.
I’m not sure if this accomplished what it was supposed to, or intended to. If not, well, maybe there’s a questionnaire somewhere?
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