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As we know, transitioning is a journey. While the starting point is usually pretty well defined, the end point is likely to be pretty fuzzy. But, along to way from here to there, things happen. It might be something that we expected and dreaded, expected and embraced or something that we didn’t see coming at all.
Along my path, some of the unanticipated things that have happened to me:
+ I’ve seen what the other side of sexism feels like. It made me really ashamed of my behavior in certain situations. It was also fresh insight into how much women have to endure just to function. Women have to be much more mentally tough than most people think.
+ While I am not physically transitioning, my social transition is just about complete. I present as DeeAnn 80% to 90% of the time. On those occasions when I present as Don and get addressed as “Sir”, it feels odd to hear that. It would be analogous to being an elder and hearing a nickname that your parents used when you were a child.
+ The acceptance by the lesbian community was unexpected, but it feels really good. For most of my life, friendships with men were difficult. Not that they were difficult; the real problem was me. Underneath it all, I was afraid of being “discovered”. I am 71 now and it wasn’t until I was about 51 that I had a strong friendship with a man. But, all along it was always easy for me to develop friendships with women. If I had to guess, I suspect that is why I’ve been accepted by the women. I think I am perceived as more like them than not like them. Going further, similar to some of the women, I have slept with men and been the submissive partner (as Don; this was long before DeeAnn).
Clearly, what I’ve discussed above was unanticipated. However, I do think it is worthy of spending some time to think about these events. Who knows? It could be that the information that has been revealed to me may continue to enlighten me. You just never know…
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