Unsure of my gender identity – barely starting my journey

  • Creator
  • #100943
    Danny Dandan

    Hello! I am Danny and I’m really grateful for a community like this to come to with questions.


    I am currently in the air a bit with my gender identity. I currently am known as cis-male, though I do not completely feel that defines who I am and rather think I am more so nonbinary than cis-male. Currently I am using he/him/his pronouns, but love the thought of including they/them/their pronouns in as well. Using the he/they combo I think would paint the best picture of my identity.


    One of my biggest hesitations I have though is that I want to be sure using the term nonbinary accurately describes me and that I’m not jumping to conclusions or using wrong terminology for myself. I can confidently say that I would experience gender euphoria by using he/they pronouns and presenting more androgynous, but I also don’t believe I have experienced dysphoria just from using he/him pronouns and presenting masculine. Because of this, I want to be sure that I am using the right words for myself so that I don’t in a sense put myself in a category that I don’t belong in.


    I am open to any and all advice, comments, guidance, and thoughts. Thank you for reading through this!

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  • Author
    • #101665
      Terri Anne

      Hi Danny,
      Welcome to our wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and yourself.

      Thank You for bringing up this subject. It is something I have also struggled with. I lean more stongly to the feminine and recently decided that I am fine with that.

      My hope is that you will continue to provide all of us with you insights and  become comfortable here and make many new friends.
      Feel free to ask questions and we certanly love to hear your experiances and life’s knowledge as well.
      Enjoy the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
      Terri Anne

    • #100978
      DeeAnn Hopings

      Good Day:

      I identify as transgender non-binary. In my case, what that mean is some combination of genders. What I came to realize is that I am this combination of male and female energies, perspectives, likes/dislikes, behaviors, etc. It only took about 65 years! By the same token, some do not align themselves with either gender. Again, in my case, there are not periods where I think that I am one gender or the other. My view appears to be a constant.

      There are many here who have worked with a therapist in order to sort through gender identity issues. This is a good thing to do as a therapist can help maintain focus on difficult issues that we might not want to think about. The possibility of significant change can often make us avoid thinking about gender issues. However, one point is key. The therapist needs to be experienced in gender issues.  Patience is also very useful. These are difficult concepts to learn. I think it is because it is likely in opposition to how we have been conditioned. It takes time to absorb things and process then.

      Thanks for filling out your Profile page! Members can use that to get an idea of what is happening for you. You can update the document at any time when something changes. The reality is that as other threads are added, this one will eventually wind up at the bottom of the pile. However, your Profile page will always be accessible.

      If you want to search for other members, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.

      So, glad to have you and I hope that being here will be a good experience for you…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
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