Vicarious living

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Cloe (CC) Webb 6 months ago.

  • Creator
  • #31298

    Charlene V

    Since I was a 5 year old boy I longed to be a girl. As I have matured I have contemplated the questions:

    1) Am I a man who has an unnatural desire to a woman? Or

    2) Am I a woman who just wants to be?

    And in light of my deep Biblical faith the questions have morphed into, “Am I  woman who has been tasked for whatever reason with male responsibilities in this world?”

    Perhaps there is another / are others that I am not seeing. However I believe before I can move forward decisively one of those questions (or one not yet asked) must be answered. In that answer I believe I would find that solid footing on which to move forward. What a relief to be delivered from the mire.

    In the meanwhile I come here. It used to be CDH, but I feel I fit in so much better here.

    I come for two reason:

    1) to learn from others that have perhaps answered those or similar questions previously.

    2) because I would really like the answer to be grounded in question #2, I come to be Charlene – if only momentarily, vicariously, but always delighfully. As life at this moment doesn’t readily permit me to live as a woman I find here I can do so with no impunity.

    Many here have made your dream your reality. Thank you for being here where I (and I believe other also)  can draw strength, hope, acceptance, kindness, understanding, and vicarious life to make my / our male reality much more bearable.

    Keep sharing your life and successes. They are treasures to we, who in the moment can only live our lives vicariously.

    4 users thanked author for this post.
  • Author
  • #32238
     Cloe (CC) Webb 
    Managing Ambassador


    Hi Charlene.  Those are some tall questions to answer for yourself.  As a woman of faith I can tell you there are many examples of women who held traditionally male roles without condemnation.  How you choose to fulfill the responsibilities you have now is up to you, but obviously need to be worked on with those whom count on you to fulfill them.  I struggled with some of these very same thoughts, but it wasn’t until I had an earnest prayer where I brought everything I was to the conversation that I was able to find peace and get an answer.  I’m here if you need to chat, albeit a bit less than usual as of late.

    Hugs, Ambassador Cloe

    1 user thanked author for this post.
  • #32174
     Julie P 


    I really don’t know how to answer you question. I am not a woman trapped in a mans body. I am a man that sometimes likes to be very pretty and dress in pretty womens clothing. I am not in a position to do this as I would like to. My wife wants me to only do it in private. She is ok with panties and a very plain night gown occasionally. I am now looking at Scottish Kilts. Between the big sleeved shirts(blouses) and the kilt It looks very much like a blouse and a skirt. The best part is there is a actually a man purse to go with it. I put some in the shopping cart in Ebay and I waiting to see what the wife says about it.

    I really can not help you with your question but I can tell you that I am very religious and I fully believe that God loves you the way he made you. He made you this way so it can not be a bad thing. You have to do what your comfortable with. If need any answer for who you are. I think you are a man that feels more comfortable living in a female manner. In the current world situation I feel that it is getting much more acceptable. Just be you.

    On the other hand I love my wife and have small children. I don’t want them to und up like me because I am that way. If one of my sons is like me it is fine but I want it to be his decision so I have to keep my situation secret. I travel for work and often times I travel dressed. Very few people even notice me.

    Good luck


    1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #32204
       Charlene V 


      Hi Julie, thank you for your thoughts. That you would take some time to consider what’s wrote and then create a reply is kind of you. I much appreciate that kindness.


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