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Being laid off from work has giving some extra time to dwell on things and one thing that keeps popping up , just won’t leave me along and that has been controlling my weight which has been frustrating with back and forth results . Many different diets and pills which not only didn’t give results but ended in more weight gain and the rising question …do I look fat in these ? Know full well the anwser will be a lie .
Started going through my journals and I notice a patteren in relation to my weight . I was child very young any chance I get I would dress up in my sisters clothing. Even went to school a few times. That did’t go over very well . But I was happy being a little girl . Parents didn’t approve of this and punishment always followed . My Dad put an end to that in house , but it didn’t stop there . When vivting my grandma she would let me wear her lipstick and a bit of plush ever now and then little on the right ckeek little on the left . Parents pick me up early and that was the final nail in the coffin . It was after this is when I started gaining weight .
My teens was the same and early adult hood still had troubles with my weight . When I fianlly told my family that I was tansgender only thing they said to me was …well we’re not paying for it . I started dress as female again , the weight was coming off , However this didn’t last long . Wear I was living there wasn’t the resources or doctors to help me and this left me depressed ,,, weight started coming back again .
I moved to a larger city hoping for better opps . It was a few years before the desire to be female were back even stronger . I called my folks and let them know that I was moving forward this and they figuared sooner or later it was bound to happen . Back to building my up my collection of cloths . At first it was just going out with female friends , shopping with my two sisters . But not at work . I was some what happy and the weight started to drop once again . Start on hormones and this is when my eating habits really changes and the weight was melting away . I went from 250 pounds down to 150 only had 20 more pounds to lose , went for my surgery and continued to loss the extra pounds . A dramatic event took place in life and I pretty much close out the world , family friends everything …
The weight came back and then some . So now that I’m back on my hormones life is starting to feel like it is getting back on track but with even more pounds to drop then before …I’ll get there ! What really gets me is I’m an analitical thinker with reason of logic …this took 49 years to figure it out !
How do ladies control your weight and what steps do you take ?
Sorry for being long winded , just nice to be able to communicate and I like be chatty .
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