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Hi,
And welcome to Transgender Heaven!
We’re excited to open the doors on the site soon. We’re building a community to serve everyone who identifies as a transgender person, as well as their family, friends and loved ones.
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Hey y’all. I’m dee, from central Virginia. I’m not trans; but, have a couple trans friends. I’m here to support you as a heteroflexible male. I’m not here to blurt out my twisted story of life; but, I want you all to know that I appreciate the sweetness and courage you all put out.
Feel free to contact me, just don’t come at me (in a bad way).
Oh, I feel like the happiest girl in the world! I feel like a Lady; complete, warm, happy, sweet, pretty, and totally controlled, owned by a sweet man (my dream!). I want to be the best wife I could ever be! I would be ever so happy, so cared for, so protected, so loved! I simply wish the world was accepting to ladies like me, and I could live as I am meant to; in skirts, dresses, blouses and other feminine trappings that make me the woman I was meant to be! Oh, PLEASE?
Your Roxanne LanyonHello,
For those who haven’t met me, I am Roxanne Lanyon. I am sort of new to Transgender Heaven, but I have been crossdressing since the 1960’s, back when it was scary to do that! Over the years, I mostly was male, until my last divorce, about seven years ago. I moved to Georgia, and my soul started to become Roxanne. I love being Roxanne. More and more, everyday, I become a little more feminized. Probably one day, I will get married, and become a wife this time! Oh, how sweet that would be! I love being a Lady, and, although a mature lady (in her 70’s), I think I will enjoy being a woman!
Anyway, that is Roxanne, and I am ever so happy and blessed to be here!
Love you all,
Roxanne Lanyon
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Hi Roxanne,
Welcome to TGH, nice to have you aboard! I can certainly understand loving Roxanne, as I am very much in love with Lauren! Feel free to share your journey, we’re all here to listen and to encourage each other as we travel these wonderful paths.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M Ambassador
Thank you, Miss Lauren. I am so happy to hear from another girl like me! Being Roxanne makes me ever so happy! I wished I had had these feelings years ago! Now, if I could find someone who will make me a wife, my happiness would be even greater!
Roxanne Lanyon
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Hi,
And welcome to Transgender Heaven!
We’re excited to open the doors on the site soon. We’re building a community to serve everyone who identifies as a transgender person, as well as their family, friends and loved ones.
Hello, new here, I am a trans man based in the UK, looking for friends, this is the first site I have seen and it looks great so far, nice to meet you all 🙂
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<p style=”text-align: center;”>Hi! I’m a trans woman from PA. I’ve discovered that I’m a lifelong gender dysphoric, most currently HRT on/off/on and staying true this time. I’m well-versed in esoteric lit/film/music. Hope to make new friends!</p>
hi everyone
im writing my second intro as a newby on this wonderful tg forum.It has been a long journey.Im 59
from the uk.I feel very isolated.There is more acceptance today but also stigma im afraid of.Even though i have been in the closet after such along time i feel as i was born tg very out and proud and happy when im Carly.But its such but having arrived on this lovely forum knowing there is people here like me brings me feel less lonely
CARLY PEARL
Hello, Carly!
As others have said, welcome!
I’m 61 and also from the UK. As another Brit, I can assure you there is no need to feel isolated! I’m in the Midlands, by the way, close to Oxford, so not so very far from you…
Of course, though, there is stigma and there are people who won’t accept people like us. But that’s their problem.
I’m happy to chat and share where we both are in our transgender journeys, as and when you would like.
Meanwhile,
Many hugs…
Grace
Hi Grace, I apologise for the the length of time with my reply.Thank you for your words of encouragement from one brit to another .Fabulous forum i feel reassured every time i visit here.I would be happy to chat with you anytime.The lovely thing about fashion is that i forget about my age.You are absolutely right that the stigma i fear is their problem
have a Great day.Hugs CARLY
Hello, Carly,
No problem about delays in replying. We all have lives to lead! Where are you in your transition journey? As you can see from other things I’ve posted, I’ve been out to my close circle for the last 18 months and, increasingly, out to the rest of the world. I plan to be fully out from January ’24.
I have not started hormones yet – that was delayed for reasons too complicated to explain here. But I hope that process will get under way very soon.
I have taken steps to do the name change, though will finalise that when I come out fully in January.
With love,
Grace
Hi Grace I hope everything works out for you in january with your transition.Good luck. I have been stuck in the closet a lifetime but have thought hard about transitiong.For me its a matter of being Out and proud so far.Anyway i have real admiration for you Grace.My favourite shops are newlook,river island, and asos
Carly,
Thank you! I alternate between feeling nonchalant and feeling struck dumb with fear every time I think about what will be involved in January! Still, generally, I recommend the course of action more than staying in the closet…I don’t find many shops which consistently have the styles I like, since my styles are so retro…So I buy selectively from M and S (stretchy tops and, of course, underwear!), Fatface, John Lewis etc. I also like ‘old lady’ stores like Cotswold Collection (have a couple of skirts from there) and (my favourite) House of Bruar. I’d buy all my clothes from Bruar if I could afford it…
And I buy vintage-y stuff from Etsy.
Love, Grace
Carly:
Glad that you found us! I trust that the time that you spend here, in our company, will be helpful to you as things move forward.
LGBT folks are born as we are. We do not Become, but we do Discover. It is quite the revelation when we realize that the background thoughts that we have actually represent our true selves.
Isolation is a terrible thing that happens in our community. So, I will suggest some things that may help.
First, I suggest that you check our Member Directory. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory. From there you can search for other members in the southwest of the UK and elsewhere. Others may be able to provide some insights as to activities in your area.
Search for LGBT centers, even if they are not close. During the pandemic many organizations did support and social groups online. Many have continued the practice as it broadened their reach and eased scheduling and transportation issues for community members.
Also, please complete your Profile page. It provides background that helps others to understand your situation. It will always be readily available and can be updated at any time when something changes.
Hi Grace i totally understand how it must be making you feel at this stage but i wish you all the luck with your transition in coming months.I see it as a beautiful journey but with all things in life comes with bumps and dips along the way.I really like M&S to but thats gone from our high st. alas.Another store i liked was Dorothy Perkins.Thats gone to of course.But i loved the tops they did.Lovely blouses etc.
CARLY PEARL
I am very grateful for the warm welcome I have received here and the wealth of resources available.
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hello to all the new friends.
I’m new too
I think one of the best things I or you can do is find a place like this. it is full of warm, caring, friendly people with advice, wisdom, n suggestions in a non judgmental manner, with only caring n love for others. what more could we want?
welcome all
waves to Donna a fellow Buckeye
hugs to all
missy jo
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Hi I am Hayley, I have joined and quit a few times. Slowly trying to get brave.
Please welcome me.
Thanks
Hayley
Hello, Hayley,
Welcome! I hope you decide to stay the course and remain a member of this community. As DeeAnn says, this is a truly supportive group and I have personal experience of this.
I would also endorse what DeeAnn says about updating your profile page. Which reminds me that I should update mine! I look forward to hearing more from you. Please message if you think that would be helpful.
Hugs,
Grace
Very Good!
The significance of the Profile page is this:
Eventually all threads sink to the bottom of the pile. They are accessible, but the search process isn’t the greatest. Therefore, whatever interesting and useful information that has been posted may not be seen after a period of time. Our Profile pages will always be readily available and can be updated at any time.
Hayley:
All are welcomed here. We put effort into weeding out any untoward elements that show up from time to time so that we can make this a safe place for our members.
I suggest that you do an Introduction post in the Introductions and New Members section. Also, it would be very helpful if you completed your Profile page. It really helps other members to understand your situation and goals.
March 31 being World Transgender Day Of Visibility #TDOV
I decided to finally come out in a public way as the transgirl I am becoming. It is early days and I am not even on hormones yet but I think in 2-4 months I will start.
MaisieJane has been inside hidden for far too long. Some people who know me well had read the signs. A close circle of six people already knew for some months now.
I have been subtly shifting to more and more fem dress style, always do my nails, have started light make-up and skin creams regularly, reading up on tips and advice in that area
So yesterday after another talk with my psychologist a few weeksago, I realised it’s time. Time to let the real me express herself. I changed the name on all my media accounts to my girl name and my email signature tells people about the change, that I am trans, and asks them to use my girl name in future.
I feel calm and happy but also quite afraid and impatient for the hormones.
Since people read my new name I have some lovely messages of support.
I will post more here about my journey.
Love to all especially other trans people xxx MaisieJaneHi everyone. My name is Christine. You can call me Chris if you like. I am a pre-op AMAB. I am just beginning this journey and still presenting as male in public. I am married and have children. My wife is being supportive, although this is hard on us. I’m hoping we survive as I proceed. I spent most of my life acting as a closeted bisexual. That all changed when I entered therapy for depression and anxiety last year. I’ve never fit well in a man’s world and always enjoyed the company of women. Not for the sake of attraction, but for friendship and just being one of the girls. I always talk and act more freely around my femme friends. I just never connected in the cis-male world, no matter how hard I tried throughout the years. I welcome all to talk to me and share their experiences. I want to learn, grow, and be a part of you. Thank you. Love and hugz!
Hi Chris/Christine,
Let me be (one of!) the first to welcome you to this forum, which I joined in January 2022. I feel I have much in common with you. I am also pre-op AMAB, though perhaps a little further on. I present as female about half the time – with friends, for example, or when I’m going out. I’m not yet fully ‘out’ at work but my senior managers know and are sympathetic. I am also married and my children (two sons) are grown-up and in employment. My wife is not supportive at all and, in fact, said she wanted to separate as soon as I told her I was transgender. She sees this as the cause of our marriage break-up but the truth is we had been in difficulties for years. Again, like you, I prefer the company and the world of women to the world of men. Some of my cis women friends have accepted me, others less so. Let me know if there is anything I can usefully share with you. With love, Grace
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Hello I am knataliegh beddll i am a transgender female waiting on my surgeries to be scheduled. I am doing top,bottom,ffs,and most likely as many of them as i can get done. I am from Oklahoma. I first knew something was not right at 3 then fought with it every since and finally I had enough and decided i wouldn’t let anything else from stopping me from being me
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Hi. I’m Bobbie. 79 yo widowed wm. Nylon lingerie CD for 70 y. Late 2021 experienced uncontrollable need to live as a complete woman. Gender dysphoria? Perhaps. But I’ve felt less and less a man in the 20 years since my cancerous prostate was removed and my male parts no longer worked.
Have gone quite a ways to satisfy that need. Measure 42-38-42. Very confident and comfortable in public. I’ve been out as Bobbie and I love the experiences: hair salon having a makeover and a hair cut, trying on clothes in women’s section of department stores, restaurants, grocery stores, etc. Have clothes, wigs, jewelry, cosmetics, and a few shoes.
Looking for friends to chat and perhaps meet publicly.Hello Bobbie, my name is Kerry, both boy, and will be girl. My mind, come what may, I am girl. I know the feeling, at least in part, to buying clothes. I have always wanted girl association, but had to suppress it. When it became a need for skirts for public restroom safety, sense of balance issues, my desire to be “she” in front of everyone exploded out of confinement. I do not care what people think, I identify as she, with a deep desire for surgery. Finding what fits has been interesting. Girl inches, do not match boy’s. I am sure you know this. For myself, the “boy” clothes are going to Goodwill. Except for 2 pair of shorts, one which can be pulled up for bikini mode, it’s all bye-bye. Kerry, he, is now Kerry, she. I love it. Now to learn to use and care for a wig.
Nice to hear from someone older than I am. Interesting that your TG feelings have only increased with aging, just like me. As a young man, I thought than those feelings might just go away or diminish, but they haven’t at all.
Hello Ray.
Thank you for the welcoming message. If your profile is accurate, you aren’t that much younger than I. I see you live in FL. My late wife and I lived in Jacksonville and Sarasota, 8 years each, from 2013 to 2019. Then we moved to NJ to be closer to my son and his family for any support we might need as we aged. Turned out to be a wise decision because he converted his dining room to a hospice room for my wife for 6 weeks before she passed.
Where in FL are you?
In a response to another forum you mentioned you have a baby. Wow!!! I’m jealous. My male parts haven’t worked in that way in the 20 years since my prostate was removed.
You commented on the feminization with increasing age. From what I’ve read on sites like this, that isn’t an uncommon thing among men of our generation. I’ve just taken the transformation farther than most. And I love it
Hope we find reasons to continue to communicate.
Bobbie
Thanks for your reply, but I’m confused. I never filled out a profile, and cannot figure out how to do it. Somehow, you seem to say that a bogus profile has been created stating that I live in Florida. Nothing could be farther from the truth — literally! I live in Cambodia, but had a Florida address in St. Pete over 30 years ago. How did they resurrect that?
Anyway, I’m a bit jealous that you have had the courage to come out. I am still very closeted, as I have a pretty straight-laced Cambodian wife who has a pretty good idea of my trans-feelings, but doesn’t object as long as I don’t flaunt it. I once told her that I wanted breast implants, and she emphatically vetoed that idea.
So I’m interested in how you managed to come out of the closet and what steps you have taken towards feminization: surgery? medicines? There are so many options these days, and I am in the dark about which way to turn.
Ray:
When you join, some basic information is collected that goes into your Profile page. However, many don’t realize that there is more to fill out if they choose. I encourage all members to fill out their page completely. It represents a snapshot of how things sit for you now. It can be updated at any time if something changes for you. Eventually, all threads sink to the bottom of the pile, but your Profile page will always be readily available.
For the record, what shows up is:
City: Battambang
State: Florida
Country: CambodiaI have no idea where Florida came from.
As this part of the forum is intended for welcoming new arrivals, I suggest that you start a new thread in a more appropriate area of the site. Possibilities are shown here:
https://transgenderheaven.com/transgender-forums/
Towards the bottom of the page, the 16 forums are listed.
Also, I checked our Member Directory which you can do under Social in the menu. Currently, you are the only member in Cambodia. However, I see that there are 12 in Thailand, but several have not logged in for some time…
Hello, my name is Sophie and I just signed upt. I’m really happy to have found this site/forums. I really appreciate a space to connect and talk with others in the community. It is so needed!
Sophie:
Glad to have you join us!
It’s a great thing that you have decided to focus your work on the trans community. It goes without saying that this is very important for the folks in your area. Beyond your doing what you do, it is also important for trans people to see other trans people in the world functioning like anyone else. It serves as a reminder that being a trans person does not necessarily prevent us from living a full and useful life. That doesn’t say that it won’t be quite difficult at times, but it is possible to move forward.
I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It will always be readily accessible and can be updated at any time. It also helps others to understand your journey and how things sit for you.
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Thank you DeeAnn! I agree it is important for folks to see others living full lives as themselves. I remember when I was in the middle of socially and physically transitioning as I entered grad school, I met a genderfluid counselor that had just graduated and was provisionally licensed. That meant the world to me because I believed a little more in myself.
And yes, I will probably finish the rest of my profile the next day or so. I had a few minutes and wanted to say thank you for your very kind words!
Hidee ho! Axel here. Just joined as I ran across this site as I was searching for news on our people in the United States; what a nightmare. I don’t recommend. Anyway, nice to find this site. Thanks for creating it! And, if you aren’t aware, trans peeps everywhere will be marching and protesting on October 1. Hoping you can join in. If you need more information or would like to create a group of your own, please contact Tsukuru Fors, a force unto themselves. [email protected]. They will hook you up with any info you might need! Hope to see you in the streets. Be good to you. 🤗
Hi,
And welcome to Transgender Heaven!
We’re excited to open the doors on the site soon. We’re building a community to serve everyone who identifies as a transgender person, as well as their family, friends and loved ones.
Hi. One longtime strugler in life here again. I am Lilja from Iceland and i have been in long hard fight with my self to be my inner person. It have been wery mutch downs for me but somhow i am still here.
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I understand that feeling well! A good gender therapist can help so much! It did for me!
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Therapist seems to und er stand. Very direct but still nice. Williams said to help for confirmation letter for surgery. For myself, this change is something I under stand. Issue is getting others to see I do know what I am doing. I am she, no regrets, barring a botched surgery, for leaving unwanted maleness far behind me. To that end, therapist is needed, to help me understand me, no. I feel confident that I understand what I am doing. My anxiety is waiting to get to surgery. Like the queen in Alice in Wonderland, away with him, make him, HER, and be such forever more. It’s an itch I can’t scratch, but a surgeon can.
I am sorry you have gone thrue this all.
I am meeting therapist once a week and she is doing her best. 🙏
Hugs
Hello all. I am Natasha and new here. I am still too shy to go public yet and am looking for inspiration!
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Hi . My name is Donna Smith. I am also trying out the name Morgan as a nick name because I will never change my legal name. I am non-binary and I am from Westerville, Ohio. I am new at this and hoping to meet some friends from the community I can hang out with. I love to read, watch movies especially classics like Alfred Hitchcock and Jane Austin or any period movie. I love mysteries as well. I am obsessed with the Titanic. My favorite version is the most authentic and that is the 1958 movie called A Night to Remember. I enjoy board games and card games as well as nature. I love animals and enjoy hanging out with my fur babies and my other loved ones. I am open to learning new adventures. Feel free to ask any questions. 😊
Hi again
I’m needing advice from anyone in the UK
So currently I’ve spoken to my GP and now have a counselor, i’m guessing i now need to organise as a private assessment before being allowed T blockers and HRT?
Any advice in regards to the assessment? Is it a set questionnaire etc. i just being nervous about failing the assessment etc. because i’m aware the gate keeping, etc.
Also can anyone recommend any other steps i need to take?
I honestly feel like you need a masters degree for all of this, plus all the associated LGBTQ+ history and current scene and implications, thanks for that Trump/Putin/JK Rowling/ LGB 🙁
(the hate against transgender people is pretty scary to be honest, particularly at the moment).
Hi Dee Astra, I’m in the UK and like several other UK members here have some experience you may find helpful.
Firstly though, please fill out your profile. It is so difficult to help or suggest if we know nothing about you, your circumstances or anything really. This site has been so helpful to me in my first year…I hope you find it so too. I’m happy to help when I know a bit more.Alex x
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Well i’ve now long since passed my 18 weeks waiting on GDC/GIC appointment and I’ve now been turned down by 10 different GP’s for a bridging prescription in spite of highlighting I will have to DIY eventually as a 3 to 4 wait is not going to be doable.
My intial GP has refused to see me in person since I original saw him and explained i was likely intersex and neurologically female and that I need a referral to GDC/GIC as I was no longer capable of masking for everyone else’s benefit and now need to fully transition including SRS, my GP sinces has been insisting on phone call appointments only.I’ve booked a private Gender Psych evaluation, to at least try and convince a GP I really need to moving forward, the continuous holding pattern is not possible.
Any advice would be appreciated.
(yes my gender counselor has already mentioned I need to put a complaint in regards to my GP as his actions have been highly unethical).
Bridging prescriptions – A guide for trans, non-binary and gender non-conforming people
EDIT: The GPs excuse for not accepting me as a patient is “This is something that requires specialist care under supervision from a specialist centre. As GPs do not feel not feel they have sufficient knowledge about this treatment to manage patients in this practice”
Hello, Dee,
I am also in the UK. I’m not sure what you mean about the 18 week wait for an NHS Gender Clinic appointment. I do, though, recognise what you mean about the 3-4 year wait to go to the Tavistock Clinic or similar. I don’t yet know whether I want to wait that long.
I didn’t know about bridging prescriptions and was very interested in the link you sent. I have had a private Gender Psych evaluation. I can recommend that strongly as a useful experience. However, as you know, it is not cheap (!). I did it as the necessary step to get a private hormone prescription. But I haven’t yet decided whether I want to or can afford to do the private hormone medication. We all face a two year period of exceptionally increased expense in the UK, as you well know!
I would think that a private psych evaluation would carry some weight with your GP in terms of getting the prescription you want. However, whatever the public statements may say, I don’t think the NHS functions as a service which meets people’s needs. I think that, in practice, it is there to provide a strictly rationed service which only addresses the most pressing of needs, and then according to a strict ‘triage’ system.
We might wish it were otherwise in the UK but, unless we vote for a very different kind of funding model, I don’t think we’ll see radical change in the way things run. Thus, unless you are a patient who is seen as being at significant risk of self-harm, I don’t think any GP will see you as much of a priority against all the other calls upon limited NHS funds.
I suppose what I’m leading up to saying is that, if you can’t bear the wait, and if you are able to, you may have to go private for hormones until you (finally) get your NHS gender clinic appointment in a few years’ time.
I guess this may all come across as a bit gloomy. Regrettably, though, it seems that Britain is still behind the curve of other comparable wealthy countries in terms of supporting transgender women.
PM me if you think I can help. If I don’t reply quickly, it’ll only be because I don’t check this site every day.
Much love and good luck,
Grace
Hi, funnily enough I found out about this via twitter, when a good few people pointed out the bridging prescriptions on NHS via their GPs.
(as the link points out this is due the NHS accepting it’s services just aren’t working)
But the catch is, there’s always a catch, and the catch is it’s low dosages
So precisely how that effects a second puberty is likely problematic, but if it’s enough to remotely calm the bustling fire ants in my skull that testosterone forces on us, that would be a fantastic.
And would definitely help with my Jekyll and Hyde moments due to dysphoria.
Oh…I know about those ‘bustling fire ants’ and ‘the Jekyll and Hyde moments’!
I particularly like that ‘fire ants’ metaphor…
And ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ is a great extended metaphor for how it feels to be dysphoric..which is why it has been filmed as ‘Sister Hyde’…!
And isn’t Eddie Izzard going to do another version of this?
Love,
Grace
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Hi everyone I’m new here, I’m a TG person which is a big enough label without adding more. I love cars, cycling and mostly dressing. Jeans and t-shirts aren’t my thing lol, give me a lovely dress or skirt and blouse please ❤️
im here looking for friendships and maybe some support for those days that get us all down 😭I’ve been out as myself for 25 years, I came out just after my marriage broke down, even though I spent a few years blaming her and licking my wounds I have only good thoughts and my ex and thank her for setting me free.
been single ever since as its pretty difficult to find an RG who is interested and wants to be with a TG person.
anyway just a little info for you all and a 👋🏻 👋🏻👋🏻💕❤️💕
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Hi everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself to you and thank you for having me in your group. I am new at this and only been on HRT for a little over year, nothing like going through puberty in your 50s (lol). So please be patient with me if I ask some dumb questions. I haven’t come out to a lot of people yet, but I’m working on it. Being on hormones now I am really starting to feel good about myself and know this is who I’m supposed to be. Thank again for having me
Elise4 users thanked author for this post.
My introduction. Hi, my name is Claire and I’m in my mid 50’s. As with many of you, I have known from an early age, around 5 to 7, that I was different. I found ways to sneak and dress in my mother’s clothes and for a while, shoes. I’d always felt more like a girl and dreamed that one day something would happen to make that part come true. Unfortunately reality didn’t allow that to happen. After a while I accepted, the best I could, my situation and assumed my gender born role. Only later in life did I finally discover that there was a term for this, now called, transgender and that I was not alone. I have never been able to escape my internal self realization of who I am and what I feel and know inside. I’ve been to several therapists. One decent and the others, not having a clue on how to handle my situation. The last therapist I saw put me on some anxiety medicine which helped ease the dysphoria part but it left me empty and felling less in other ways so I quit the medicine. I know if I wanted I could probably go back on a higher dosage to shut that part of me down but I also know that it’s shutting down another big part of me as well and I don’t want to go through life having to depend on drugs to live a life that everyone else wants. Right now I just have a ton of emotions that I’m trying to work through and figure out the best path forward for me.
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Hi Claire,
Welcome, and hang in there! This is a good place to find some of the emotional support you need, and there are lots of women here who can provide great insight about your path forward and the adjustments you need to make. Baby steps are fine; I recommend them. Sort out those feelings and decide where you want to go and how to express your female self. But warning: they are not going to go away, only probably get stronger. It would take a powerful lot of drugs to cage Jane again.
Love,
Jane
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Thank you Jane. Your words mean a lot to me right now. I’m so thankful to have found a place where I can come and talk and just be me. I’m all too aware that these feelings get stronger with age. I’ve dealt with this for almost 50 years and it has never been easy. During my last major breakdown, it just about broke me and it took prescription anxiety drugs that they kept having to increase just to get me back to manageable. This time I’m trying to find other and more healthy ways of managing it.
Hi ladies, let me introduce myself, I am Lauren Mugnaia. A bit of history is in order. I was named Lauren at birth, not sure what my parents had in mind but I was given a girl’s name. I had to endure a fair amount of teasing in school because I ended up in a girl’s home room and PE class each year. I finally went to the school office and modified the spelling to a masculine version, Lorne, but all of my official paperwork and birth certificate still say Lauren. I have always known I was different, as far back as my memory goes I always wanted to be a girl. I have always been feminine in nature and mannerisms and was teased and bullied for that in school. I never felt comfortable hanging with the guys and almost all my close friends were, and still are, girls. I was only 5 and remember trying on my mom’s clothing and have crossdressed ever since. I have recently come to a full realization that I am a MTF transwoman and now I must face a new reality and see where that will take me. I am a member of Crossdresser Heaven but but joined this forum as I feel it is more fitting for who I really am, a woman, not a male crossdresser. I look forward to hearing from, and sharing with, all of you girls.
Love,
Lauren Mugnaia
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42 here. In 2010 I told myself that if I still wanted to transition in 10 years’ time, I would pursue it. I still do but it’s a scary journey.
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51 & only just figured this out, good grief Charlie Brown… better late than never? Either way no ideas as to how to proceed..other than reach out and talk to others in the same situations
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Hi Dee,
It’s so nice to have you here! I only joined TGH quite recently and have found it wonderful – full of lovely, supportive friends at different stages on the trans journey.
Please check out my profile to see if there’s anything that strikes a chord. And please message or friend me if there is.
I look forward to being a good sister/girlfriend for you.
Love, Grace
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Hello, my name is Therese.
This is suppose to be an introduction but I have always had a hard time writing a paragraph or two where every sentence starts with ‘I’.
At fifty-two years old I live in Minnesota where I have lived for almost twenty years.. I haven’t lived here all of my life but I do now. Being born on the army base Fort Hood in Texas in 1969 you can guess my father was a soldier. My mother missed her family so I ended up being raised here in beautiful Minnesota. It’s thirteen degrees now and it feels like a heatwave. I’m tempted to put on daisy-dukes and snow shoes.
It was around the same time as my fathers death last year that I started HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). There was no connection between him passing and my transition other than they happened in February. To be honest I’m not sure of the exact date that I started. It was either February or March (I think).
After they divorced my mother dated a little bit and ended up marrying someone who could have been Donald The Cheeto Trump’s twin in all regards. He was a criminal, hyper-intelligent, mean, and a pedifile. When she left him it was an escape. We had to leave when he was gone and we had to hope that he had no idea where we went.
We moved every two years give or take a year here or there. The kids were best not seen or heard, so my sister and I bonded by hiding from him in our rooms. This part of my introduction doesn’t matter though. It’s a lot like any other persons. Beatings every day just because, raping my sister to show me what a “man” is suppose to do and be like. I only bring this up to show a point. I was to busy surviving and didn’t have time to really reflect and learn about my trans-ness till later in life. There were a couple of times when I knew something was up but I did my best to bury it away like everyone else.
Now, at fifty-two I am in therapy working through my own transphobia on myself and enjoying who I am.
Sorry for the long windedness and thank you for this space among others like myself.
Therese
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Therese:
Glad that you found us and I hope that being here will prove to be a good experience for you. One of the most important aspects of this site is to let people know that they are not alone and that there are many others that share similar paths.
I am sorry for the experiences that you lived through, but the significant thing is that you survived. If not, I wouldn’t be writing to you and happy that you found us. However, while we can’t change the past, we can understand it and use that information going forward. Even though bad things do happen, it still has the power to inform and educate us.
As you will see from reading the stories of members here, some come to the realization at fairly young ages, but there are others for whom the revelation comes much later and others still somewhere in the middle. There is no set path and no set way in which we learn about ourselves. Stuff just happens is all I can say.
Glad that you are working with a therapist. Many members have found that to be a very helpful thing to do for multiple reasons. There’s a lot that most of us don’t know about how our minds work. When we consider possible decisions that have the power to completely alter our lives, it is hard to stay focused on them. Our minds will want to defer to a calm place with no stress and discomfort, but considering that one is transgender and thinking about transitioning is anything but low stress. It is also helpful to work through ones issues in some orderly and deliberate fashion and to take time to process learnings. On our own, these are very difficult things to do.
I see that you have done a lot with your Profile page. I encourage you to complete it. It provides helpful information to other members and will always be available if you wish to update it.
You may search for other members near you by clicking on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
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Hi I’m Danni and I came me here from CDH where I have been a member for a couple of months now. I am learning that I need some support from others since my wife passed away. I have always thought a little different that my physical appearance and it was my mother that noticed it first by she just accepted me being me. My wife was very understanding, and she was very supportive of my being who I am with the understanding that it was kept from the kids when they were young. Being 70 I finally I told my oldest daughter, one of my sisters and a brother and his wife because I figured that they could accept it or not and I don’t care what they think. I have been thinking about what my wife used to tell me and that is to be myself and tell the people that I love when the time came, and I was comfortable with who I was. I do miss her and I know that she would be proud of me right now for bringing it to light.
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Hi all. My name is Tammy. I’m 48 year old post op MTF. I live full time and have done so for 20 years. I really love being able to dress and be my true self. I started dressing at a young age before I had even heard the word transgender. I knew I was different, so when I heard the word it described me. Funny how things in life work. I’ve been on hormones for 20 years and probably like some of you, I have great days but also some pretty bad emotional ones. I’m happy to have found this site and look forward to meeting new friends.
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Hi i am Krissy a 58 year old postop trans woman i live in Michigan and in a small town
I have been on HRT for 3 years now and on projesterone 200 mgs every evening and i have never been happier than when i got my GRS it happened 8/24/21 and so far so go
Thank you for reading
Looking for friends
XOXO Krissy
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Hello! I am quite new in the transgender community. I started really deeply question myself 4 months ago, after I turned 30 years old. I had random thoughts of me being male in woman’s body before, but I was always able to shake off these feelings. 4 months ago these feelings just came knocking in and I wasn’t able to ignore them. First few weeks were awful for me. I was shaking and was in tears. When I looked into a mirror, then it was almost like someone else’s eyes looked back at me, but they were my own eyes that looked me, as I was inside the shell of this woman. Fear paralyzed me. It was terrifying.
Then I started deeply think about it and found stuff about transgender people online. Beforehand I couldn’t even give this a name, because I didn’t know anything about the term transgender. I only knew, that there were people, who change their gender, but that’s it.
I can trace it all back to early days of my childhood. I always felt like I was different. I didn’t really fit in with the other girls. I was fascinated by toy cars and trains. I liked watching how men in my family chop up firewood and even tried it myself. I have always been also boyish.
I liked running in the playground with other guys and wanted to kick the ball too.
But I didn’t know how to express myself properly. I was pushed into this tiny box and I acted the way that society deemed as normal. I saw the differences between men and women and saw how other girls didn’t play with cars and played with dolls. This is when I noticed I was different, but I guess not knowing what to do and mimicking other girls was a way to cope and stay in denial.
It all was like I was living inside a dream past 30 years and just know I awoke. When I truly realized, then this euphoria hit me. I loved imagining myself as male, but also with all this game dysphoria and dysmorphia. Just imagination can trigger my dysphoria.
Right now there is this calmness inside me. Mostly I feel fear, because I don’t know how well, people around me would accept me. I came out to my friend, but she isn’t that supportive, but she does accept it. Just happy, that she didn’t push me away, because of it.
My father is not supportive of lgbtq+ community, so I already can guess of he would react. Despite it all I want to come out soon and fully transition, even though I might face ridicule and hate and loneliness. My country is conservative and there is a lot of homophobes and transphobes.
I want to break this wall, that stops me being true to myself and finally be truly happy.
I joined here, because I hope talking more to other transgender people and make friends too.
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I second what Jasmine said. Looking forward to meeting everyone and participating as much as I can 🙏❤️
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Hello all,
I have been “different” for eons, like since first grade when I was caught trading clothes with a girl classmate. Mostly suppressed feelings of dysphoria (before we knew what it was ) by posing/dressing as a girl. Did marry a HS girlfriend who was perhaps more masculine than I. I was more of a mom to our 3 children than she. About 20 years ago she asked me to crossdress for her, and it did not go well. We divorced soon thereafter. My daughter was a teenage mom, and I was my daughter’s doula. I have been helping my daughter raise her 2 children. Now with some alone time, I get to explore. Thanks for reading this far.
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Kay:
I’m sure that your story has parallels with many members here. Many of us reach a point where continuing to live the life we have up to that point no longer makes sense and, in some cases, is even painful in the sense of mental torture. I suspect that happens in many different ways, but I think the significant thing is that we just can’t envision going any further as we were. So, I am happy that you found us and that this will be a good place for you as you continue your journey.
I suggest that you create a new message in the Introductions and New Members section. There you can give a bit more detail and that helps other members to get to know you. I also suggest that you complete your Profile page as that is an additional place for information. The 2 places go a long ways towards helping to understand your journey, how it’s going and where you may struggle. Although all regular threads eventually sink to the bottom of the pile, the Profile page is always readily accessible and can be updated at any time.
If you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory…
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Hi, I’m Sandy. I’m new to all of this. 47 years old and still coming to terms with my identity. I joined this group to meet other like-minded individuals and develop friendships. I just wanted to say hello to everyone. I’m currently dieting, since February. I’m not terribly tall, only 5’9″ but I’m down from 230 lbs. to 169. My goal is to be 145 lbs – slim enough to wear some of the outfits I see some of you wearing here. I’ve got broad shoulders. Does anyone have any outfit, clothing, or shapewear suggestions for someone with an upside down triangle shape, broad shoulders, narrow hips? Thanks!
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Good evening 👩🏼
I joined this group transgender heaven this morning when someone sent me a link on Facebook . So I have been looking at posts today from transgender heaven. I love what I see .I am Sophie Demitra 61 from Southern California and I have been out since 2015. I work out with weights every morning and I practice Bellydancing and pottery. I have recently retired from public education. I am 6’4” and a very skinny 200 pounds. When I was younger I knew what I was but I didn’t have the words to tell people. Mostly it was because no one knew what to call us back in the 1960s in the 70s, so they just called me a freak.
I am going to skip a lot of things and get up to today. I am very happy with my changes and feel exceedingly fortunate in how it all has worked. I have really good medical care for hormones and surgeries. My friends and family are still with me. I have had a great support.
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Hi, I’m Celina and I’m 23. I’ve know I’ve wanted to become a woman since I was little, but due to family I was always scared and tried hiding myself. This past year I’ve finally gotten brave enough to star talking to a counselor and have been looking for how to start my transition. I’m looking foward to talking to all of you, making friends, and getting help and helping others along the way.
thanks for the safe place to meet new people.
Celina
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Glad to be here and looking forward to know you all
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Hello I am Marsha Martin am exploring my feminine side and have always felt this way. Have never been out in public and I am a 63 year old single male. But did dress up ago one Halloween. Anyway am hoping to make friends here and understand more about who I am will post a picture later. Just joined tonight thank you.
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Hi I’m Lisa Rodriquez. I have been out for 24 years. I have beem livimg full-time as a woman for over 20 years I have taken hrt in the past. I am hoping to make new friends.
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I too am in the closet, a 56 yo mtf. I have been out dressed once, sort of when I was 17, and then I also went to a Halloween party as a female witch.
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Hi, known I wanted to wear women’s clothing from an early age, around 12 onwards. But it’s only the passed couple of years (40’s) I have been brave enough to do it. I am a fit and active man and try and look the best I can. I love being dressed but feel mega guilty about doing it and even though I have let close people know and they have been very supportive. But I have also realised that the more I have relaxed with myself and been true to myself that its not just the clothes and they are not enough, I have come to uncover the truth I don’t want to accept, I am hoping to meet/chat to some people like myself, as I am honestly struggling to accept what this is and the impact on my life its going to have, but I know its the road I must take to actually feel some real happiness and self love that I have never had. I know I am not alone, but I feel like I don’t have the inner strength to go forward with this, I am bald and have been since 18/19, which was fine whilst being male all my life, but now its on my mind, how can I be a woman without hair?! I have booked in for a hair transplant and ill have to have two sessions, but I won’t see any benefits from this for another year or so and then all the time to grow the hair thereafter if its a success. I can’t put what I know on hold any longer, I have plans with my GF and kids etc and I keep thinking just after this next thing or after that, basically what I do with everything in my life, but I know deep down there is no good time or right way to do this, I know I am not alone in being scared, but I don’t know anyone personally in Manchester either who is going through this and I would love to find a community who can help give me strength x
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Hi I’m Lisa and I am 69 but my hair is getting thinner. I have been living full-time for over 24 years. There are allot of wigs out there. The one I use is Paula Young they cater to women who are going through chemo. Just Google it and you will find it. If you please don’t hesitate to ask
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Hi I’m Alex, I’m 23 and I’m a trans man, I just started my transition and I’m starting t soon.
I live in Minnesota, and I’m looking for some community.
I never know what to say with this things uhhh I like d&d and coffee?
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Hi Alex welcome, I can say this is probably the best site I’ve been on, a lot of the others were full of sleaze and made me uncomfortable but I’ve felt 100% safe on here, I hope you have a great experience here too, D&D and coffee eh awesome 😁
Best wishes Antonia
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Hi
I am Laura. I am 53 years old (well, will be very soon) I always thought I should have been a woman since the age of about 5. I remember vividly crying because I would never be a girl.
I dressed in my sisters clothes when no one was around and then as I got older bought my own, felt guilty, purged and then started again. I just made do with my male body and have lived a male life, but with feminine thoughts.
I am being true to my real self and admitting I am a trans woman and am starting to see what help and support is available. I am not thinking about surgery at present, but I would like to have a more feminine body shape and look.
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Same story here
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Hi everybody! I’m Ella…
I grew up as a transgender child. My mother recognized at a very early age that she was in fact raising another daughter, not a son. She made EVERY accommodation for me, which included appropriate clothing, and toys. (The only access to girls clothing I had was my older sister’s, who was 5 years older than me, so they must hung on me…) This was the mid sixties, and I can tell you that my mother was WAY ahead of her time in terms of being progressive.
I had a very close friend who was named Gabriella. I absolutely LOVED her name, it was almost musical. I came down the stairs one day and announced to my family, “Don’t call me “xyz” anymore. I want you to call me Gabriella, instead.” I was 5 years old. My mother gave me the nickname Ella, and that’s the ONLY way she addressed me, up until her death in 2018. My mother truly saw me…
I didn’t know my father as I was growing up as he was serving in Vietnam. My mother failed to tell him that, rather than having a daughter and three sons, he actually had two daughters and two sons. My father ABSOLUTELY freaked out upon returning home. Nothing short of 100% denial and rejection! I was 6 years old.
My father wanted to put a complete stop to my gender expression, but my mother put her foot down and made two things clear; first, “you will never cut her hair!” (He wanted to give me a military style crew cut!) and second, “she is free to be who she wants to be inside the safety of our home. If you want her to live as a boy in public, that’s fine (no it’s not, mom!!), but inside this house she can be who SHE wants to be.” I think it’s fair to say that my father HATED everything I represented.
I walked the tightrope of being in two worlds until I was 16. It was the mid 70’s, and the world was not ready for Ella to come out. So, I made the decision to live as a male from that point on.
Well…let’s see, how can I put it? After years of depression, anxiety, suicidality, extreme drug and alcohol addiction, failed 20 yr marriage, the loss of relationship with my children, etc… I reached a breaking point. I just wanted to be FREE again, like I was as a child.
Two years ago I started seeing a gender therapist, asked my close (and progressive) friends to start addressing me as Ella, and once again acquired all the girly things I could ever want or need… 😊 I started HRT in November, and am working with a speech therapist to see if we can’t tweak things a bit in the voice dept.
There ya have it. Sorry it was so long!!
I look forward to getting to know everyone!
Namaste, Ella
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Hi I am Bobbi and I hold the key to my jail . I love being a women and I wish it wasn’t so hard to just let my shelf out. I went for almost fifty years with out ever telling a soul . I never fit in any where in till I went to a Transgender Event and I was home. Thanks to Crossdresser & Transgender Heaven and Vanessa . I knew my whole life I wanted to be female I have a twin sister and at a young age knew something was wrong . I was called names and shamed so I got tough and went the other way. I joined a club not a biker club . After going to First Event 2020 I joined Trans Club of New England they put on the event and what a time. I have been to biker events and can ride a Harley like a dirt bike but it never made me feel anything . At First Event I got involved and I was so proud . Today I live my life most of the time as a woman and that is still not enough . We have to do certain things to keep our lights on. Thank you all lets live and be seen . Bobbi Waitt
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Just wanted to say Hi.
I just signed up here.I have been on CDH for some time But never got around to joining till now.
May the day find you well.
Catherine
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Hi, great to have you.
Likewise I have been on CDH for while before jumping over here.
Hope you enjoy the site.
Kayla
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Hello, my name is Christian. I am a trans man who has been transitioning for many years. Looking for friendships with people whom I can relate to in a safe place. Looking forward to this new chapter.
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Christian:
We put considerable effort into maintaining this as a safe space. We have a list of people who have been banned over the last 12 months and it is lengthly. People are told from the very beginning that this is not a dating site, yet they foolishly persist. Some join to say disparaging things about trans people. They are weeded out also.
Just so you know!
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Hi everybody! It is great to be a part of this amazing community. I am excited to contribute my knowledge and experience as I learn from the wisdom of others. It is my sincere hope that as I share my journey with you growing into the women I was meant to be the victories won and the heartaches suffered can educate and inspire everyone as we endeavor to thrive in this thing called life. Thank you.
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Hello and come to as a androgynous crossdresser from CD Heaven. And though my journey of lingerie, skirts, dresses and so much more. I learned one major thing from my 30 plus years of CDing openly.
I FREAKING LOVE IT and with the birth of the Internet. Showed me I was not alone in the world no more. With all my girlfriends from CD Heaven and the many new friends I am going make here.
I never have to be alone and in the dark ever again. Because we all have each other back. Though the good, bad and long return lines.
Plus this site is helping me help a trans friend that has no internet access. So they to know they are no longer alone as well.
This has been Hippie from CD Heaven. Saying this sister has your back.
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Hi:
Glad you dropped in. I encourage all new members to post a message in Introductions and to complete their Profile page as best they can. Both help towards getting people to understand you and get to know you…
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<p style=”text-align: left;”>I’m getting there. I just hit the wall of a writing block and I got side track from trying to help a friend at the same time. I’m juggling two things at once.</p>
Trust me in a day or two. I will have my profile up to par.I’m just kinda rushed because my friend is at my place now and I’m helping them as I am typing this out.
I want to help them before they go back home with no Internet. I hope you can be a little more understanding with me and show some patience with me on this matter. This is a unusual situation for me and my friend. I promise I will get it done.
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Hi:
There is no time limit at all. I just remind people when they first arrive as I think that improves the chances of actually working on an Introduction post and/or the Profile page. The thing that I like about the Profile page is that it often gets people to think about some things that they may not have really focused on before. It’s a good thing to apply conscious thought as often when we don’t, we wind up in places where we didn’t intend to be.
That said, your situation is a bit different, so I would say comment as you think best. You could also talk about how your friend is doing, progress, challenges, etc. Anyway, in this virtual arena, it is one way that we can begin to get a sense of one another…
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Filling out the profile was good for me, got me thinking! Thanks for the reminder to do it! I have most of it filled out but will go back to fill in some things. So blessed to be here and have you all as friends! ❤️ Brittany
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That a very good Idea and I will use your ideas and put them to use asap
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Namaste!
I’m Loki (aka Luci) and I am very glad to find this community! I identify as a transwoman, though I’m very early in the transition process. My journey has been rough and chaotic at times, but it keeps getting better the more allies and trans friends that I meet.
A lot of people here have a deep and long-standing narrative (when they remember feeling dysphoria or having certainty of their identity) that I admire and thank them for sharing. I’ve often downplayed my own because it didn’t seem to be relevant or didn’t make sense at the time, so I only recently came to grips with my identity (though it runs deep, not necessarily long). The more we share, the deeper we all become, right?
Anyway, thank you all for accepting me into this community and I look forward to our collective journey together.2 users thanked author for this post.
Hi everyone: I’m Hannah. I’ve known all my life I was in the wrong body. I’m almost 65 now and struggling with major depression. Thank you
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You cam to the right place. You are among friends here that I hope you can trust. One of the benefits of TGH is the support we give to each other while coping with our day to day lives. I wish you the best and hope you can conquer depression.
PS I am in similar dilemma as you but am 46.
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HI!!!
Im sorry you are feeling down.
I know what you are going through as I have been in the same boat my whole life.
Just know you are not alone.
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Hello everybody! i apologize to anybody finding this annoying.
My partner has recently made a GoFundMe page in order to help pay for top surgery. There is more information on the page, but feel free to ask questions here, they will be answered.
this is the link, sorry it’s so long :/
Hi, My name is Gary and I am new to this forum. I have struggled with Gender Dysphoria for about 60 years. I have self medicated on and off for 40 years. I have felt alone for all that time. I was married and have two wonderful daughters who have been supportive of me. I am divorced. I have always wanted to get help but have never been able to afford it.
If anyone can guide me please help. I live with a very compassionate woman who is aware of my issues and stands by me. I feel like I am going crazy. I have always been afraid to say anything to my extended family, friends, and colleagues. I always feel alone in a crowded room. Please tell me what to do. Love Gary
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i also have been on a lonely journey for over sixty years. so lonely
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Gary, I am no expert and I am new to all this too. Like you I have always felt like I was born in he wrong body but could never say anything to anyone. What is working for me is to take it all one little step at a time. I started with wearing clear nail polish, then coloured. Wearing kilts as an “acceptable “ way to wear a skirt. Read what people on here have to say. Make some friends on here. Everyone is very supportive as everyone has had similar experiences to yours. Thank the woman with you often for her understanding and support. As I said, I am no expert but if you need to talk to someone who is in a similar place, you can talk to me.
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Hey Aylana, welcome home from a fellow South African now a kiwi living in New Zealand! If you are new on your journey, congrats on realising you are who you are. It is a real pleasure having you here with us. Just jump right in at chat and say hi. We have a wonderful gorgeous bunch of ladies and gents here and they will be all there to help you along your journey and support when needed! Love and hugs!
Catherine A Vos
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Hello I’m new as well. I’m from Canada Thunder Bay Ontario.
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Hi everyone.
I am new here.
I am from South Africa.
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Hi,
And welcome to Transgender Heaven!
We’re excited to open the doors on the site soon. We’re building a community to serve everyone who identifies as a transgender person, as well as their family, friends and loved ones.
<span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Just saying hi, I’ve been crossdressing for as long as I can remember trying on my moms “I Dream of Gennie” nighties when I was 12. I stated out on the Crossdresser Heaven site and loved it everyone is so friendly, but I read the article are you a crossdresser or transgender and there were so many things when she talk about transgender that I though thart’s me. I also have been watching a youtuber that put her whole transformation on podcasts , watching her experiences , made things that happen my whole life start to make sense .So here I am.I start my first Lazer hair removal treatment this wednesday and I’m so excited. Sure I will have so many questions and thanks for having me.</span>
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Kellis,
Never mind. You already answered my question farther down in your reply. I have memory and attention problems and skipped over the last part of your answer. I humbly apologize.
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Kellis,
I am so sorry you had to go through that torment. My middle school classmates ruthlessly bullied me because they thought I was gay, and my father shouted at me once for wanting to hold his hand for the same reason. I got very close to running away from home because it got so bad. Your experience isn’t an outlier in my hometown, I’m sorry to say. We have a homeless shelter for youth here called Urban Peak, and most of its residents were kicked out of their parents’ house for being LGBT.
For the most part, though, everyone including me thought I was straight and cisgender. I tried for the longest time to be a man, and when I couldn’t find it in me, I just decided for the next decade I could find myself after I had checked off all of my academic goals.
It didn’t work. I felt like a shell of a person that could only feel negative emotions. I bullied others who weren’t as ambitious as me, because I thought that was the only purpose of living. I saw friends as resources for academic help, not as human beings, because I didn’t even know what it felt like. Even my one intimate relationship, I saw my partner for what she could achieve, not who she was.
I am not proud of who I was. I was a miserable, empty, pushy shell. Dressing in women’s clothes is the first time, apart from being with my grandmother, that I have not felt this way.
I don’t dare come out to everyone- yet. How did you get through the time before you came out? How did you avoid going back in the closet to yourself?
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Thanks!
This past week was the first time I have ever felt like a person.
How have others coped with being in the wrong body before they realized they were the other sex?
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Hey there and welcome. To answer your question, I have dealt with a lot of abuse, in my family and it was worse when I came out to my mom to initially being bisexual and Trans (I am pansexual today and this happened back in high school). I was beat and almost got kicked out of her home, even though I was like 15 or 16, still in high school. What helped me was making new friends in my college years, who accepted me as me. They also had a Pride group with meetings, we even when to Pride, the year before last year and made signs that I still have hanging in my room today. I also, we to see my therapist in college and she really helped me a lot. I was in a dark place, and I thought about giving up on life, but she really helped me cope. Eventually I started talking with a Psychologist about my life with trauma and abuse. Talking with her on the phone really helped me as well. She did refer me to a psychiatrist since my old psychiatrist doesn’t accept my insurance. The best advice I would give and talk to someone that you trust and who accepts and loves you no matter what. Because it in of the day, you matter in this world, and you may challenges and always still love yourself as much you can. I know it is hard to do, because I still struggle with it. I hope that this is good advice. Also, do the things that you love to do, because it will make your day, promise.
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Hi,
And welcome to Transgender Heaven!
We’re excited to open the doors on the site soon. We’re building a community to serve everyone who identifies as a transgender person, as well as their family, friends and loved ones.
Hi everyone, I just found this place and wanted to introduce myself and figure out where to go from here.
My legal name is Ethan, and I only began figuring out I might be trans a week before I posted this. It means the world to me that I’m not alone. I’m hoping I can find my way forward as a woman, as this is the first time I’ve ever felt free.
-Evelyn
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Hi everyone, I wanted to introduce myself so you all know who I am. I’m Alana. It’s great to be here. I just joined this community and I’m here because it feels really natural to be here. I just recently started to identify with being female and started to cross dress barely 5 weeks ago. A lot has happened recently that has caused me to question my identity which led me to come here. I wanted to connect with like-minded people, to support and be supported on this feminine journey. I hope that I can chat to some of you in the future and we can get to know each other better. I will be listening to you and reading a lot on this website and may ask you some questions to find out your experiences of womanhood.
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Hi everyone, I’m Alana. It’s great to be here. I just joined and I’m here because it feels really natural to be here. I just recently started to identify with being female and started to cross dress barely 5 weeks ago. A lot has happened recently that has caused me to question my identity which led me to come here. I wanted to connect with like-minded people, to support and be supported on this feminine journey. I hope that I can chat to some of you in the future and we can get to know each other better. I will be listening to you and reading a lot on this website and may ask you some questions to find out your experiences of womanhood.
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This is my first social type of interaction with the exception of a certain female with whom I’d expressed myself with fully. I’m not quite sure where I am or who I am yet. My internal reality may have been created or manipulated by early childhood trauma..idk. All I k ow is tht I identify with being Female in many ways. At times it’s so natural and complete, yet at other times it is so foreign and I feel I have to throw it off.
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Hi Teri It’s so nice to meet you. You have an important personal story to tell and I’m very interested in it. I often analyse myself too and I believe trauma has stirred up my gender alignment at different stages of my life. I am in the afterlife of heterosexual and monogamous marriage which became very emotionally traumatic in its later stages which has focussed my mind on who I am and am rebuilding my identity. I am very happy to come out the other side as a woman who I have loved and admired my complete life and I aspire to be one. I still have many questions to answer which I will do with the help of my therapist. I will have many hurdles to overcome to win recognition and acceptance as authentic self. But I am glad I have taken the first step on my journey. I hope we can be friends and get to know each other better.
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hai all i am melissa totaly new and you could say i am still very shy about being me
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Hi
I am Alexandra Love, a non-binary being who is exploring all aspects of life. I love to get out and present as a woman whenever possible although with a not yet supportive wife and 14 year old twins all locked up for Covid, Alexandra has not had much time for herself lately.
I would love to meet some of the girls here and maybe even find some girls in the New York area to shop with!!
Lots of love,
Alexandra
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Hello, everyone! I came here from Crossdresserheaven.com, where I continue. In adjusting to recent isolation from widowhood and COVID-19 practices, I discovered that a girl inside me enjoys getting out a little. She doesn’t demand that, she just enjoys private occurrences. My family don’t live with me but are important to me and would object to me coming out. So, I keep my inner girl in her closet. But it’s a big closet with a house, a kitchen, cars, clothes, cosmetics, an allowance, and a garden.
I hope to meet others in our community. Although I have yet to do this even before COVID-19 isolation policies, I would be willing as a cisgender man to date a trans woman if they and I would be friends in the absence of a date.
Since I have a comfortable established family life and am aging, I don’t expect ever to transition and do not know that I would want to, even if the opportunity arose. But in private my personality enjoys my hours when I move into my inner girl, like right now as I write this.
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Hi there,
I’ve been on the periphery of crossdresser heaven for a while. Recently I responded to a survey-post that asked how I’d feel if I woke up as a woman. My answer was pretty different from the other responses, because I didn’t talk about getting new clothes or wanting to change back. I said I’d wake up as the same me, just in a body that matches, and that I’d have tears of gratitude. I realized that sounded more like someone from TGheaven than CDheaven had written it. So I decided to come over here for a bit. I’ll probably stay fairly on the periphery here too, but I thank you in advance for making me welcome 🙂Thanks Ann, and welcome to Transgender Heaven. It’s a good test isn’t it?
For any Harry Potter fans, I thought of another one “The Mirror of Erised”. According to Albus Dumbledore, this mirror shows the “deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.”
If you looked in the mirror what would you see?
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Hi there,
I’ve been on the periphery of crossdresser heaven for a while. Recently I responded to a survey-post that asked how I’d feel if I woke up as a woman. My answer was pretty different from the other responses, because I didn’t talk about getting new clothes or wanting to change back. I said I’d wake up as the same me, just in a body that matches, and that I’d have tears of gratitude. I realized that sounded more like someone from TGheaven than CDheaven had written it. So I decided to come over here for a bit. I’ll probably stay fairly on the periphery here too, but I thank you in advance for making me welcome 🙂5 users thanked author for this post.
Hello! I am new here, I came over from CDH, which has been such a great support network. I am gender fluid and 40 years old. I am a great big beautiful bearded lady and I hope to make some new friends here. I tend to swing more consistently to the female side of fluidity. I’ve hidden this in a male shell for long enough, that I wanna rock my lady side pretty hard! I am a loving and supportive soul, and I believe no one needs to take this journey alone. If you want to reach out, or need someone to talk to, send me a message! Off to work!
Lots of love,
Mikayla!
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Welcome Mikayla,
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I like your spirit girl, and hope to see you around the site.</p>
Hugs Traci Lynn2 users thanked author for this post.
Hey everyone-
I hope you are all wonderful and happy. I also hope this is the place in the forum where I introduce myself. My name is Therese but some of you may know me as Jessie (Jessica) from CDH. I have been exploring this box I had stowed away inside myself and found …well a lot. I am trying to celebrate who I am rather than hide who I am. On this journey to acceptance of and love of who I am I’ve noticed that the woman inside should be outside all the time. I mean it’s like your skin, your eyes, your hairline (unfortunately), our sexuality these things we can’t change about ourselves. This is the same (in my eyes anyway). I am a woman, a trans woman, a person and at fifty years old I want to celebrate who I am so I have begun exploring not just my gender identity but also transition. I’m going to a gender therapist, talking to an endocrinologist, talking to my wife, and talking to myself about this. Is it just me or does anyone else get huge amounts of anxiety over this? I’m taking it slow because it’s quite overwhelming. It’s nice to meet you all and I hope that I’ve put this in the right place and not put anyone off.
All my bestTherese
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Hi Therese,
I think your post was insightful, who of us doesnt have anxiety over our transitions. No matter what that transition looks like, we all have some anxiety which I believe we all feel about differerent aspects of it.
Sounds like you have the right approach though, seeing a therapist, talking to your endo, discussing it with your spouse. Its a big decision, but you seem to have started in the right direction.
We are all here to support you, and welcome you as a Sister! Talking sometimes helps immensely, chat with the ladies here has always given me an outlet to vent and relieve my anxiety. Best of luck in your journey and if ever you need an ear I am here.
Hugs Traci Lynn
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Thanks for the welcome Breanna. Yes, having the resources that are available today would have been a life saver for us, but like you said, the past is the past, and all we can do is pull up our big girl panties and move on. My next move comes in 13 days with the hearing for my name change. Can’t hardly wait, new chapters, new beginnings. Peace and love to all.
My name is Diane Renee and I am a Senior MTF Gender Dysphoric. I was initially diagnosed in 2012 and have been slowly making my journey on this fabulous, new path. I have been living as my gender self for a little over 2 years now, and have taken the steps for my name and gender marker change. It’s amazing, after reading a lot of the forum posts how similar our experiences have been, and I think this site will make the rest of my journey a lot more interesting and fun
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Hi Diane,
A big Welcome to TGH and yes, it’s amazing how many of us there is out here. I am also a bit older and there was no internet, no trans awareness like there is today, and I too suffered from misdiagnosed gender dysphoria for years. But thats the past, it’s time for us to hold our heads up with pride and move forward!!
Hugs, Breanna2 users thanked author for this post.
Hi my name is Anne. I came to TGH only a short time after joining CDH in December 2018. I never formally introduced myself here at TGH so here I am. 🙂 I’m 62 yo but I’ve had these feelings of wishing I were a woman ever since I was 11 yo when I dressed in my mom’s pantyhose and bra. Growing up in Milwaukee in the 60’s and 70’s, there was no internet, no LGBTQ support groups, nothing to help one deal with these feelings. That and a very chaotic childhood home “directed” me to follow the “normal” societal path that we are supposed to follow. For so many years I suppressed these feelings as I was an empty shell living my drab male life. A couple years ago, I accepted these feelings of feeling/being female but I also live with the consequences of living what I call a life disguised as a male. I don’t know if I will transition but for the time being, I am going through laser and electrolysis treatments to completely remove this disgusting hair from my face and body. Whether I take this further to deal with the other disgusting male parts, only time will tell. Rejection by family and the thought of losing access to my three beautiful grandchildren is a very real concern if I choose to transition bodily. I am especially close to my 3 yo granddaughter and she to me. We have a very real and special bond already in her young life. In a way, I feel that she is me, reborn to be what I truly should have been all these years.
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Hello, I am new here. From Arizona <3
Nice to meet you!
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Welcome to TGH Cassandra! Hope to see you around the site. Let me or one of the mods know how we can help.
Ambassador Cloe
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Hi Everybody!!!
My name is Breanna Leigh, formerly Brenda Leigh, and I have been a member of Cross dresser Heaven since November 2018, later joining Transgender Heaven. I just filed my paperwork with Circuit Court to legally change my name and decided several weeks ago to change My female first name from Brenda to Breanna, as the name Brenda brings back bad memories from the past. Since starting HRT four months ago I really feel I have opened a door to a new life and I do not want any past bad experiences polluting my future as a woman. Today I logged in to the site and I was immediately taken to the Choose your Plan page, and from there I was asked to introduce myself, so here I am. I figured it can’t hurt anything since I have not spent much time on the site, or the computer for that matter. My story is very much like everyone elses… I told my Ma and Pa a 5 years of age that I was really a girl, and they had no understanding. That was in 1966. Then again, when I was 14 or 15, they did not understand but this time they ridiculed and shamed me. I Cross dressed thru my twenties even living as a girl for awhile until I became a victim of a hate crime receiving one mean butt whooping simply because I was trans. At that point I decided I would become a tough guy and gain acceptance from my family whom I had had no contact with for several years. I pumped iron while stacking Deca and Testosterone to gain muscle mass, and fueled my anger with alcohol and heroin for 20 years. I eventually cleaned up my act and began getting my life together when a light came on in that little closet I locked Brenda Leigh in. She pounded on that closet door demanding I let her out. so I started reading more and more about Cross dressing, transgender and SRS, and could not believe how much info that is posted on the internet. When I grew up I was totally alone and did not understand why I thought the way I did. There was no internet, no support groups, no LGBTQ to help change laws to create equal rights. If you x-dressed or you were trans, you probably lived alone in the closet, not caring to venture out unless you were a perfect femm. As I searched the internet for answers I found Cross dresser Heaven, just last November 2018, and got some good advice from some great people. In no time at all I had a new female wardrobe complete with everything a woman needs, shoes, purses, coats, blouses, jeans, dresses, jewelry, everything. Next was make up classes, voice feminization lessons, I entered therapy with a great gender therapist and soon was living 24/7 as a woman. The next thing was HRT and interviewing for reassignment surgery which unfortunately, I must pay cash for. I am now saving $$ towards my surgery and hope to have enough saved within the next two years. And since starting HRT I have been a much calmer, happier more content person who no longer experiences the anger I felt as a man. It hasn’t been all roses, I own a small business and since coming out I have lost business, my 84 yr old Mother has dis-owned me refusing to even talk to me, and my one and only sister hates transsexuals and what I’m doing but still communicates by constantly telling me what a bad mistake I made. You know what I say!?? Screw em all!!! I have every right in this world to be me and I will loose NO more time in my life trying to satisfy someone else’s expectations of me!!! Today I am very happy and confident as the person who I truly am, Breanna.!!
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Wow, Breanna, that’s is quite an ordeal that you have lived through – it brought tears to my eyes just to read it. So sorry about the complete lack of support from family, who should know better and would be better if they truly cared about you. I so admire your strength and determination to overcome all of that. You have rescued your own life not thanks to but in spite of your “loved ones”. I’m happy that you listened to the voice from that “little closet” and found the peace and balance in life that you so deserve. The world is a better place now that Breanna is in it! Good luck and best wishes on your journey, now that you are finally on the right path.
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You truly are! Welcome home.
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Hi everyone my name is Annie just starting my journey kind of late in life I”m 63 years old always have been what you call maybe a sissy guy not like regular guys always liked to talk with women instead even found out secrets about some of my friends at times..When younger use to dress up with my sisters in there clothes loved it but always was side tracked by having to do guy stuff with my dad didn’t really want to really wanted to stay inside and draw and play with my sisters instead always felt like something was missing with me didn’t quite feel like a man I guess you would say started crossdressing and fell in love with it last week was when I put on my first bra gosh that was like heaven haven’t started hrt yet but soon and looking forward to it haven’t come out to the wife yet but counselor and me are working on it she’s not gonna like it don’t think but this is for keeping me sane and not her guess if things don’t work out was met to be so still a long journey and probably a bumpy one that seems like I got to do this all alone cause no one else knows and probably won’t support it have adult kids so don’t know what there gonna say but like I said my choice and can’t really be happy any other way ….
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Hi Annie and welcome to the club hon. I am also new and older 57, but keep that quiet please. Oh anyone reading my reply skip thar part. I started HRT 10 days ago, best choice of my life. I am already happier and calmer, but thats my chouce and only you can decide if or when you are ready. Also married and had the same concerns as you about coming out to my wife, however i am pretty blunt sometimes. I told her i had an appointment, and she asked for what? I though about it for a moment and said to talk to a clinic and get bloodwork done for hrt. We are still together, for the time being at least and possibly the future as well. There is hope Annie, and believe me the ladies here at TGH are exceptionally helpful and supporting. Good luck on your journey love!
Hugs Traci
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Waaah…(Im crying)..I just wrote the most heartfelt post chronicling my entire life story …then, as i do, I hit the wrong button and lost it to the digital ether. Well shite..Im too lazy to write another. Sooo..Im Josie 59..I start HRT soon ..my wife is on board and I am so happy to be here among you girls..kisses huggs…smoochies
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Excuse my French but your wife is a bada$$! Welcome!
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Welcome to TGH Josie!
We’re glad you’ve joined us and hope you find the site a place to call yours. Jump right in and enjoy our forums, groups and articles or share a photo or a bunch. Also we’re excited for our revamped chat system for love discussions or just some fun. Please know we do offer support for SO’s as well. Just ask and I can connect you with the lead ambassador.
Lord knows how many hours of my time fell victim to the “let me check something” click. Most of the time I use Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C so I have it in my clipboard or right click and us open in new tab.
Managing Ambassador Cloe
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Hi,
I am jaiymelynne. I came from the crossdresser heaven site too. I have realized that I am a journey for life. to live to my truth as the woman I am inside; she must be out and free. It has been a lifetime of discovery. I know now that everyday I ignore her, is a day lost. So I joined here with the idea of meeting like minded people. With some experience to guide and encourage. To come to grips with the reality of my life as it should be. Coming to the realization that it’s ok. That it is normal, at least for us. And that is what I want. Normal. Not feeling lost or having something missing. Being myself and loving it.
Thanks for reading my intro, hope to chat soon.
JaiymeLynne
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I feel the same way. Every time I see my clothes/wigs in the closet I feel like part of me is locked away in the closet. It’s like what was once my sanctuary is now my dungeon. Welcome!
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Welcome to TGH Jaiymelynne! We’re glad you found your way over here and that you find TGH a great compliment to your experience at CDH.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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Hello one and all
Like many here, Ive joined here today and know some of the names already from CD Haven ..
Ive been out for ever and live a mixed bag of fem/non fem time with my fabulous fully supportive partner who has put up with me for decades !
I have been full time in the past and for various reasons put my transition on hold and have been there ever since. Its not been easy but have no regrets as I get to have a lot of quality fem time and still have a little boy time too.. however I am still ‘me’ no matter what I’m wearing,
I like to think that I have reasonably well balanced life … but with a strong lean to the pink side!
Lovely to be here and hope to chat soon.
hugs Dawn
xx
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I am truly Grateful I some how arrived in a safe place where I can just relax not be rushed and take my time. Right now I feel like I am on vacation. I want it to be permanent.
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hello and welcome to this wonderful site, where we can meet others and chat and knowing we are not alone in this x dressing world. x dressing has been around for years and no one paid attention, bat man wore tights, glinger form mash wore a dress, woman wear pants and shirt. i found this place and i feel relaxed and happy
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Welcome to TGH Dawn!
It always amazes me to meet someone who finds that balance. It is wonderful to have you with us and hope you can share with us some of your story and how you came to where you are. I tried to find a balance with my ex, but it wasn’t meant to be for us. We did part amicably so you might say we found a different kind of balance that let me continue my transition.Hugs, Cloe
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Hi I’ve chosen the name Kane and identify as a male. I haven’t come out to my family, when I’ve brought similar subjects up when I was younger they didn’t really seem like they’s approve so I’ve only told a couple of close friends. I’ve had some health problems recently so I haven’t been able to start hormones or anything, but I’m hoping I will be able to when I get better. I’ve pretty much knew all of my life that I wasn’t female, and always felt male but kept brushing it aside since my family pretty much made me feel like I was weird or a freak for feeling how I do. I want to do a full transition, mainly because I really want the surgery….I feel very uncomfortable with how I currently look, and honestly think I’m hideous which is why it isn’t my profile picture. I was wondering if anyone might be able to tell me how transitioning is or was for them since I haven’t started the process other than therapy right now? If this isn’t the place to ask that question, would someone be able to link me the forum where I might be able to find that out? I’ve done research on what the basic process is as well as potentials of what can go wrong in both taking hormones as well as the surgeries, but there’s obviously a difference in researching and people so I thought I’d ask if that’s alright. Umm…since this is supposed to be an intro to me if anyone has any questions for me I’m pretty much an open book so feel free to ask. Thanks for taking the time to read this ^.^
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Welcome to TGH Kane! You can read up or even ask questions about physical transition in this one https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/forum/the-physical-transition/. What I can tell you from the MTF perspective is that starting HRT was the beginning of a beautiful story and most peaceful time of my life despite everything going on around me.
We also have a growing FTM membership that we would like to connect you with. Ou Managing Ambassador, Jasmine, is working with this group and I will pass your name on to her. She’s out on leave so it may be a week or so, but you should hear from her soon enough.
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I never gave my desire to crossdress much thought. That was until last year when my SO of 30 years came accross a picture of me in womans clothing. She asked me about my crossdressing. I could not answer her questions so I have embarked on a journy of exploration of my gender identity. I have allowed the feminity inside of me to emerge and is now starting to blossum.
Welcome to TGH, Rami! Your SO must have had some thoughtful questions. What ever the answers are that you find, we’re here to talk to and help in any way that we are able. See you around!
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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Greetings,
My chosen name is Iason, and I identify as male.
I am 35 and have lived my whole life knowing I was male, but it was not until the last several years I was able to safely come out to close friends and select members of my family. Even coming out I did not have the ability to do so publically, and until the last month was afraid to because of my kids.
Where I was living till last August, I likely would have lost custody if I came out and tried to start the process. My family and I moved due to a stalker, and where we moved, I found out, I am not only accepted but safe. My kids would not be in harm’s way if I began the process here… and this is where life has decided to, yet again, smash me in the face with hope and keep it out of reach. We are facing homelessness in about 2 weeks. I am also having major health issues as well which makes it even harder. I feel like I am stuck in a dark black room, screaming for help and no one is listening.
Now I am trapped in a situation I am not sure how to fix for my kid’s sake, and trapped in a body that both is not mine and is falling apart at the same time. I am turning to try to find help at every avenue… I have told my story about 20 times today alone… and while voices answer me, no one has a solution.
Sorry for ranting, but I feel safe in trans communities pouring my heart out where I don’t anywhere else.
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Lason, Please rant away, that is why we are here. Glad that you feel safe here, I don’t have any answers for you, but will pray for you and your family to be safe and that you may live in peace in the future during your indevours. I have always believed that one should live their dreams without being harmed or troubles to deal with. But unfortunaly we live in a society where trouble is still around us. Hopefully someone here will have some answers for you. Take care my dear. Denise.
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Hi lason,
Welcome to TGH! Sorry to hear you’re in hard times. Homelessness, and with children too, is a horrible spot! I can relate. My partner Joan has fibro and often misses work. This week we’re late on rent, down to $9 until Friday. How about a BIG hug, bro? If you wanna chat I’m around. Hang tough and good luck!
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Hiya to one and all.
My name is either Niall or Gerri, depending on if I feel male or female, and how I am dressed.
I was born as a male in 1965, and a few years later as a female, as had two elder sisters and often I wore their “hand-me-downs” in and out of the house, with my parent’s say so, as money was tight back then.
I did NOT wear their dresses / skirts until my teenage years when I began to get jealous of their outfits.
More on this later, as just joined here and cannot compress 54 years into a few sentences.
Best Wishes ,
Niall / Gerri, xxx
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Niall/Gerri, welcome to TGH! We share the same birth year and started knowing about our differences very young. My sisters never knew about my dressing and I rarely touched there things as it was a crowded house. But once I did swipe a pair of my oldest sisters hand me down jeans and wore them to school a number of times before being called out by a friend. We look forward to hearing your story and being able to share what makes you be you.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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Hi all, I’m a proud parent of an adult son who just informed me he is tg. He is new to this life and its a new experience for us both. I want to support him and be there for him 100%. I know he is scared and has only told 4 people and he trusted me to be one of the four. I was there for his debut a few days ago, me and one other. He needs help with make-up but did an awesome job at applying for his first time. I’m trying to move to Seattle but it’s so expensive not sure how I can do it. I am a little scared because of the rise in hate crimes towards tg. I’m so proud of my son for finally coming out to me and taking his first step towards the life he wants. Well, I think that sums it up!
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Hi Denise! I am so proud of you for being a proud and supportive transgender parent. As someone from a different time who has kept her own true gender identity “under wraps” for over 60 years — and paid the price with two divorces and a lifetime of denial and concealment — I am a firm believer in transitioning early and the earlier the better. Yes, it isn’t easy, but neither is trying so hard to “play by the rules” and ultimately failing. Every road in life has its bumps and we need to be at peace with ourselves in order to succeed. There is no support greater or more valuable than that of a mother. I celebrate you and your daughter!
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Denise,
It is wonderful that you are supporting your son. My 80+ yo parents support me and even though I’m in my 50’s and on my own and it has meant the world to know I have a safe harbor even just over the phone. We do have a Significant Other (SO) program that I’m going to refer you to. This is meant as a support for you as someone who has their own needs in helping a transgender person.
Ambassador Cloe
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not entirely sure how to start this so here goes nothing. I’m a 21 year old ts woman who’s too afraid to admit that I am obe to anyone including my closest family and friends. i dont have the courage to dress as a woman even in my most private of moments. I dont even know where to turn for support/counselling in my area and so I’ve ended up here where I’m hoping to get some sort of help/advice and maybe some reassurance cos the whole thing kinda scares me.
Hi Ryan, welcome to TGH. Just reaching out is the best first step to support. I’m from the US myself and will help any way I can. Feel free to private message me. In the meantime, dig into the forums, articles and groups where a lot of people are active helping each other.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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Hi everyone,
I’m here to support my boyfriend. He came out to me a couple weeks ago and I just want him to be happy. I’ve been handling it all well, helping him dress up, helping with his makeup and hair… Doing whatever I can to show support and acceptance but today I lost it in the shower. He caught me crying and immediately washed the makeup from his face which made me feel terrible. We talked about how I’m happy for him and support him but I also need support through this.
I’m hoping to meet some friends who are supporting their partner through this also. Being able to talk to someone who can relate would really help. I don’t want my boyfriend to feel like he’s doing something wrong any time I get sad relating to this.
Hopefully this post finds its way to anyone on the supporting end of transgender.
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Hi Ashley. You are not alone. We do have a significant other program and it’s designed to be a safe space for you in that is only for SO’s for the very reason that you do need your own support. If you don’t mind would you please send me a private message and I can connect you with the leader of the group.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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My ex always tried to tell me that she is supportive but she never was, secretly she thought I was gay and I’m not. As for you crying in the shower and supporting your boyfriend, well, I’m going to out on a limb and say that yes you are being supportive, but might still having a hard time with this. Just relax and take things one day at a time, and don’t over do it. Yes we are out here for each other, and hopefully will be able to help you through this. Denise.
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Welcome to TGH, Celeste! Hanging out is always a good option. Hope to see you around.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
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Hi everyone!
My name is Jennifer. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in 2017 after many visits to a wonderful gender therapist. I have known since I was 5 years old that I always should have been female. I struggled with depression, anxiety, and just absolute discomfort with myself for 30 years before I started finding out that there are others out there that have the same feelings and discomfort that i do! However, this is where my story probably turns different for most. I am happily married. I love my wife more than anything. And I have three beautiful children, ages 6, 4, and 2. I began transitioning with HRT at the beginning of 2018 and found such happiness in watching my body change! But about in the middle of 2018, my oldest son came to me and said “daddy, I dont want you to be a girl”. And started crying. I tried to explain to him that I have always been a girl and am trying to be who I always have been. He started crying harder and begged me to stop. So I did. I love my kids more than myself. So I’m willing to stay in this mans body if it means my kids feel more comfortable. I am finding my depression creeping back in. I do my best to try to control it. I know my kids are happy and that makes me happy. I try to put my selfishness aside, but it is so hard. I have dreams about just waking up as a woman. When I actually do wake up and nothing has changed I cry. I’m hoping to find friends here, ways to cope, and a greater understanding of human gender identity. Thank you all for reading this. Much love!!
6 users thanked author for this post.
Welcome to TGH Jennifer. The sacrifices a parent makes for their family are amazing. But the act of taking care of yourself is not a selfish act. Depression is a serious issue and not one that is easily controlled.. It effects everyone around you including those your’e trying to protect. You do not mention seeking help for it. A good counselor helps people deal with this very thing. If you are not then I think you might want to consider it. We’re here for each other on TGH, but we are not trained professionals. Please keep that in mind as you seek out support.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
