What can I do with my partner about sex, advice please!

  • Creator
  • #110495
    uT gh4K33

    Hello, everyone! I’m new around here and I came looking for advice.

    I’m a transexual man and I’m now in a relationship with a cis man. I have a lot of trauma regarding sex and he’s helping me through it. I spent 10 years of my life denying myself any kind of relationship because I wasn’t in a good place to deal with the trauma, but now I’m ready.

    I look completely manly and I had my breast removed years ago, but I’m not going ahead with the bottom surgery for a lot of reasons. Still, I have severe disphoria. Last time we were together (we live in different cities) I practiced oral sex on my partner, but that’s it. Can anyone with disphoria give me some ideas about what else can we try next time? I really want this to work.

    Feel free to ask anything, thank you!

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  • Author
    • #110549
      DeeAnn Hopings

      I think one of the issues, at least for me personally, is a need to keep discussions at a high level. For example, we can use clinical terms for body parts, or we can use slang terms. I think when we use slang terms it is very easy for a conversation to devolve, and that would not be good. I think when we use clinical terms we tend to put a bit more thought into what we are writing.

      Anyway, this is purely my opinion and is not intended to represent site policy…

    • #110544
      Haley Ann

      Both here and on the sister site (CDH), they act like sex is taboo. Yes, looking for acceptance and was viewed as a bad girl on a cross dresser site because I told the truth…Haley likes men🤣 I know that we are not a hook-up or fetish site, but those issues are real and yet we are chastised for mentioning it. I certainly can’t answer your question, but I can assure you that many of us struggle with sexual issues in the midst of all of this gender nonsense. No Honey, we can’t always be who we are but the self-righteous do annoy me at times. But, their site so they make the rules. PM me if you want to talk.


      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #110517
      uT gh4K33

      Well, thanks for the reply, Michelle. I agree about the name, I should change it. But I don’t agree about not speaking openly about my strugles. Sex is difficult for anyone transexual, why should it be tabboo? I didn’t say anything offensive, I’m only speaking about a problem I have. And I’m working really hard to be able to speak about things regarding sex, so… no, I’m not going to delete this or apologize. If people are not comfortable answering this post, well, bad luck, I’ll look somewhere else or maybe I’ll try in the chat like you mention.

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