“What do we call you?”

  • Creator
  • #115824
    Mallory Barbie

    I’m 55 years old. I have a daughter who is in her early 30’s and a son who is almost that.

    I came out over the weekend to them. Happily they were very supportive. Then came the question. So what should we call you? my son asked if I’d like to be called mom also. I’ve got mixed feelings about that. I feel like mom is almost a sacred thing. Not sure I’ve earned those stripes. but being called “dad” will not likely be correct either especially as I continue the transition.

    anyone have this kind of experience? What did you decide?

    4 users thanked author for this post.
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  • Author
    • #116410

      My own solution to this was the just continue to be called Dad.

      My girls have both been really great with me since coming out and it’s seems a small concession. For me, it’s just a name shared amongst those people closest to me and I know they aren’t misgendering me or denying my reality.

      But I did also warn them there may come a day when my feelings on the matter may change.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #116333
      Michelle Larsen

      Mallory, whilst not knowing that it had been thought up countless times before, i thought ‘Maddy’ was a nice cross between mommy & daddy. I figured ‘Dommy’ might raise some eyebrows in public, so I dixed that one… Michelle

      1 user thanked author for this post.
      • #116339


        that one is interesting !

        it’s usually short for Matilda or Madison…

        in this usage it combines mom and daddy. If they mess up they can use the similarity to convince someone they misheard.

        its really kind of clever and is kind of an inside joke.

        I’m going to pass that one on to the kids.


        thank you!!

    • #116323
      DeeAnn Hopings


      There is also a situational part to this. There was a scene in TRANSPARENT where Maura goes shopping with her daughters. They all go to a restroom and one of the daughters forgets and says “Dad”. As expected, all hell broke loose in the women’s restroom!

      Anyway, after committing to a new name, it requires that all remember to use it and not mistakenly fall into old habits…

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #115827

      How about letting them come up with a nick name to call you that has meaning for all ?



      • #115838


        I had not thought of that at at all. There is a neat idea.

    • #115826

      How about Mallory

      • #115837

        Hi Julie,

        I certainly have no problem with that. I mean it’s my name.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
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