- a version of mom
- something else
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I haven’t fully transitioned yet. I’m not living as female full time yet but hopefully will be soon. I am having a big dilemma. Once I am living as female full time I don’t know what to tell my 9 year old daughter to call me. If she still calls me “Dad” that’s perfectly fine with me I don’t want to make her call me anything she isn’t comfortable with but at the same time I would like something more feminine. Now, here is my dilemma: her mother, who I am not with but we are friends and communicate a lot, absolutely refuses to let me have any derivative of the word “mom”. No mama. No mommy. No ma. Nothing like that. She said she doesn’t know what to tell our daughter to call me so she just told her to call me by my name. My daughter says she wouldn’t feel right still calling me “Dad” once I am living as female. She doesn’t want to hurt my feelings but at the same time she doesn’t want to upset her mom either by calling me a derivative of “mom”. When I asked her mom about this I said I wanted to respect her and not tell our daughter to call me something related to “mom” without talking to her first and she said “I’m her only mom”. So for now we just decided to have her call me by my name, Faith. But that doesn’t feel right because there is the respect aspect of not calling your parents by their name. Is my daughter’s mother being unreasonable? Since our divorce she has since remarried and my daughter calls her stepdad “Dad”. She has been since long before my transition and coming out and no one ever asked me if it was OK. I am not good with confrontations and when I talk about something important to me I tend to cry a lot and I know when it gets closer to me going full time my ex and I need to talk about this again and I am afraid it will turn bad and I’ll give up just to avoid conflict and say it’s OK for her to call me Faith. Am I less of a woman if my daughter still calls me “Dad”? Is it disrespectful that she calls me by my name? How can I get my ex to let me have a derivative of “mom”? I just thought that maybe by asking these questions on here I could get some helpful feedback. Thank you so much!
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