- Yes, just recently
- Yes, been on it for a while
- No, not yet but soon
- No, I'd like to but not sure when
- No, I'm not planning to
- August 29, 2018 at 9:45 pm #9774Vanessa LawManaging Ambassador
I remember sitting in the parking lot outside a local Walgreens, holding a bottle of testosterone blockers in my hand. This was many years ago, but it still feels like yesterday.
The journey to that moment was long, arduous and filled with doubt. Just to get there required measures of courage I never thought I had, not to mention relationship challenges and the practical aspects like finding a transgender friendly doctor who could prescribe them.
As I was sitting there I thought to myself, “This is the beginning. Life will never be the same again.”
While I had done laser hair removal and electrolysis, this was the first moment where the journey truly felt irreversible.
I don’t remember if I prayed, but I paused, I pondered. And after consideration I swallowed the first pill with eagerness.
A new stage of my journey had begun.
I’d love to hear your story of the start of your Hormone Replacement Therapy, or if you’re not yet on HRT, the path you have taken towards this moment so far.
Total of 23 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- July 31, 2020 at 7:27 pm #87177Cindy ReborneParticipantBRONZE
I’m a very spontenous person. I always new the day would come when the denial would end. I new it when I didn’t want to be labeled a crossdresser. After my therapist confirmed it. I realized it was time to go on HRT. From the 1st day I took my estrodiol pill, I have kept a journal. I am only on my 2nd month and have breast soreness. I am so excited of all the changes that will happen. I listen to MTF positive affirmations and it has really helped. With this mask wearing it has helped me go out in public as a woman. Talk about confidence boost. I now have more feminine clothes then male ones. So my transition is going quite well.
- July 20, 2020 at 10:21 am #86950
- July 20, 2020 at 8:23 am #86947Rami LoveParticipantSILVER
I started HRT in the beginning of March 2020. I was feeling one large itch of curiosity as to what it would be feel like to have estrogen flowing through my veins. What it would be like to have real breasts verses breast forms. I was wondering if my thinning hair would thicken. Whether I would become more emotional, my skin become softer. I was also feeling the fear, the fear of the unknown, the fear of the ridicule, fear of the snide remarks, fear of the hatred, the scorn and all the other negativity heaped onto transgender people.
- March 6, 2020 at 7:31 pm #81966Josie JayParticipant
I felt excitement, period. Also, I remember the cute experience I had that day. My clinic called the scrip into a local Walmart, (not one close to me…that’s how trepidatious I was). I went to the window and told them my name and birthday, kind of looking at the floor because I felt like every eye in the place was on me. The young lady brought the bag out and said, “Is this the first time for this medicine?” “Yes,” She called the Pharmacist over for my obligatory instructions for new meds. She was a very attractive African American woman who read the information out loud and when she read the doctor’s name her face lit up a bit. She looked at me, waiting there, kind of looking around to see if anyone was within earshot (of course no one was paying attention). She hands me the spiro and says ” Take one in the morning and once at night for your..” She gave me an exaggerated wink and a smile ” blood pressure”…All of my nervousness just melted away. She didn’t have to be so sweet; bless her for it. Now I get Spiro and Estradiol there..All the employees know me and I chat with them as they fill my order…In six months Ive gone from being a nervous guy…presenting very much male, to a confident woman with pink hair, cute tops, and cleavage. I love my Hrt so much. The effect on me is palpable and wonderful and why haven’t I been taking this for years?…
- March 6, 2020 at 10:00 am #81963Daphne SmithParticipantSILVER
Relief. If I had to sum it up with one word that’s the word I use. Relief, from the constant storm that was in my head. When I was prescribed them it was to take them in the morning well that evening as soon as I left the pharmacy I had taken my first steps. That was on Oct 8th 2019 one of only a few dates I can remember. Almost immediately I knew this was right, I was moving forward. I still have quite a ways to go socially and physically and I’m only out to a couple of people but that’s for another time.
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- January 30, 2020 at 8:01 am #62285Traci LynnParticipantFREE
Immense relief, from the moment I first made the decision. For me it was that moment in time, when I truely knew I was finally on the right path in my life for me. Almost four months later now and every change is welcomed, from the mood swings and pains of developing breasts. The challenges of becoming not who I am, but who I am becoming. To me its meant more than i can possibly express in just words. I hope your choice makes you equally as happy!
Hugs, Traci Lynn
- January 19, 2020 at 5:52 am #62065Anne PreussParticipantFREE
Sharon, without question I want all of what it means to be a woman. I want the wonderful things that women experience physically and emotionally. But to be included in that beautiful world of women I want to include/experience that which women endure as well….periods, mood swings, menopause, risk of pregnancy, the joy and physical/emotional journey of pregnancy, the social and cultural joy and complications of being a woman. As MtF, we cannot have it all, but If I could, I would…but as MtF we can at least share in many of the same things that cisgender women do. I am currently undergoing electrolysis on my face and neck along with laser on the remainder of my body to feminize that part. I’m not sure how far my journey is taking me thusfar. One step at a time and I hope that by the end of 2020, I will have completed my permanent hair removal and I will have more decisions to make.
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- January 18, 2020 at 7:45 pm #62058Sharon LewisParticipant
<p style=”margin: 3.75pt 0cm 3.75pt 0cm;”>Hi all.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />Some time ago when there was no forum’s as to speak of. Or sites like this just weren’t there. There was just the chat room options like “ICQ”.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />From these, there were many of them, and we were on dialup connection, I found a group of people, just like us, learning about ourselves and how others coped. I asked a question that we all wish was out there.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />If there was a pile that would change us male to female, would you take it? There was only one catch, you would have all the female parts including Periods, mood swings, you can get pregnant and the list would continue including the social and employment problems etc.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />Would you still be so eager to take it? My answer was and is yes as I am female by heart and soul, and if that’s what it is so be it. I am jealous of not being able to experience all of these things.<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />I was so surprised of the mount of people who said no, as we can enjoy being female without any hassles so to speak. What are your thoughts.</p>
<p style=”box-sizing: border-box; orphans: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; word-wrap: break-word; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 3.75pt 0cm 3.75pt 0cm;”>Luv to you all Sharon</p>
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- October 13, 2019 at 7:27 am #52737Isabella VerburgParticipantFREE
I was excited and a bit afraid. I was afraid people might hurt me. Yet, in the end, I took it anyway. Because I came to realize something. I could do this thing for me and take a big risk, maybe even end up hurt, but possibly be happy. Or I could continue to live in fear of others and never be the person I really wanted to be. In the end, I concluded I’d rather spend five minutes hormonally female and end up shot. Then live one more day in fear. Physically, I didn’t feel a thing for ten days. Then my chest began to hurt and my nipples got really sensitive for a while. Turned out to be the development of “breast buds”. Eventually I had my first hormonally girl experience. I got emotional at the drop of a hat, retained water, got headaches, and broke out in some pretty fierce acne. It made me oddly respectful for women who have to deal with it on a monthly basis and more.
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- August 2, 2019 at 8:28 am #35885Seniko UseniaParticipantFREE
~Overly Excited, Practically Falling Asleep
Holding The Mirror, (Everything You’re Not
Supposed To Do! 🙂
~I Honestly Think/Feel/Believe, My Issue Is
Really With More What Family Will Say/How
They Will React, , , And Then The Associates.
~Realistically That Is What Made Me Build
Myself Up To: Appear Very “CIS-MALE!”
~As Far As Myself: At Times I Feel So GOOD,
At Ease, Relieved, And Even Sometimes Wish
That The WHOLE WORLD/Everyone, Just
Didn’t Even Care A Bit About What Thee
“OTHER” Person Does, It’s Because Of Them
Why I Feel Shame, Or Embarrassment, It’s
Like, “Oh’ How Would YOU Like ME To Live
My Life That Will Make YOU Happy, And
Please YOU?”..If I May Ask, , (Freak`n People
Are A TRIP!) ..I’m Deviating, I Think!? Hm,Hm.
~I Have Limited Insight In Reference To…
~For Today Is Day 1. Of Month 3.
~But I Feel GREAT/Sexy/HAPPY/Love!
(And Wouldn’t Mind If I Could Pick Myself
Up, And Give Me The Cuddle HUGs I Need!)
~STAYING STRONG, &
So Far, “HOLDING ON!”
~xO xO xO
- October 13, 2019 at 1:25 pm #52745Seniko UseniaParticipantFREE
~I Can’t Believe I Wrote All That,
(So Open) Hm,Hmph! 🙂
~Whelp, I Stopped Counting, I Think
That I’m Somewhere Into My 5th.
Month, (Like About 4&A1/2) – idk
But What I Do Know Is:
YOU’LL GO CRAZY IF YOU TRY TO
KEEP EXACT TRACK, But Of Course
Naturally You’ll Watch The Mirror
Every Day, All Throughout The Day,
(So What I Did Was: Start Wearing
Loose Shirts, And Start Looking Less
And Then You Really Notice Your
Development, And Changes…
An ORCHIECTOMY Will Really
Bring It On, Faster & Stronger!)
~As Far As The Feelings, It’s Beyond
SUPER Exciting, To Actually Grab A
Full Handful Of Your Own Breast Is
Un-Explainable, And Pleasant…
~I Can Talk & Talk, So Let Me STOP! ; )
~Good Luck To Any/Everyone, And I Hope
That You Find Your Peace, And Yourself
No Matter Where You Look!
- April 24, 2019 at 2:02 am #33680Meran BerwyckParticipantFREE
I’ve been on HRT for nearly three years. In the first couple of months, and lasting about 8 months, I just wanted to cry, and to cry a lot. Moodiness, self-pity, etc. I wasn’t feeling down about myself, I just needed to cry. A few times I allowed the tears to flow as heavily as they wanted. I had no idea that tear ducts could produce that much in a short time. I must have cried with tears for about an hour and then I was good for about another four hours. Then it returned! I was even crying while I slept, my pillow was drenched! I had no idea that it was possible while sleeping. I was moody, feeling very restless, jittery, insatiable in every aspect, lonely, all sorts of emotions. My Endocrinologist told me I was going through teenage puberty all over again, as a young female. He told me it would go away after a while, although it differs among people in general. I was glad when it was over, because after that, my breasts began to grow. From flat to a nice B-cup so far.
- April 25, 2019 at 12:30 am #33696
My endo took a low does course and I didn’t hit the emotions until about 6mo in then it. I’m at 15mo now and I can’t even mow the lawn. Just too much thinking going on creating the space for the emotions to take hold.
2 users thanked author for this post.
- January 21, 2019 at 6:37 pm #31803Kelli BlueParticipantFREE
HRT, or Hormone Replacement Treatment is what’s prescribed for menopausal cis women/men, Gender Affirming Hormone Treatment is what’s prescribed for trans people
- December 28, 2018 at 1:45 pm #31041Jasmine GremoryParticipantFREE
When I first started M-F HRT. The first 2 weeks, I would find myself crying for what seamed no reason at all and not loudly. like I would be talking to a user on the phone, I work help desk, and tears would just flow for no reason and I tried my hardest to continue working. no sobbing or anything like that but I did feel that my mood just went “south” out of nowhere when it happened. I would also be giddy at random times too. One day, I drove home, sat in the parking lot, and my wife came out 15 minutes later and asked if I was ok. I was crying for no reason but when she came for me, I was happy as can be. The mood swings where major for me but I made it through that patch. I have been on hrt since feb, 27th 2018 and will be on them for the rest of my life or until they figure out away for us to generate our own correct hormones. 🙂
- August 1, 2019 at 12:29 pm #35838
- December 16, 2018 at 5:36 am #29369https://transgenderheaven.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/woman-b14-2.jpgAnonymousInactive
Extremely excited and excited for what was to come……
- September 2, 2018 at 10:55 pm #11547Dame Veronica GraunwolfParticipant
Hi Vanessa and ladies. I am on many prescription drugs for heart issues and I was very afraid to add HRT to it. I could not face another doctor lecturing me on what to do and what was good and not good for me. I am stubborn as hell and have always done what I wanted to do. It is my life and I will do as I wish to accomplish my goals. I grew so tired of fighting and carrying a males load in this world….it was never enough or appreciated, so I thought about it and decided I wanted to be a girl….a complete change from what I have known for so long.
OK…..it might kill me but it is what I want to do and be. If it does kill me….well…I will go happy and that is what is important in life. Life is the persuit of happiness and well being….so I went for it, never looked back and full steam ahead. I don’t regret my decision for 1 second. “don’t worry….be happy”. Besides, God and I do not see eye to eye on things and I really before….he/she doesn’t want a s–t-disturber up there.
Dame Veronica Graunwolf
- September 4, 2018 at 2:39 pm #11732Deborah MyersParticipant
As they say “You go girl”. As for what god wants to have in his home, it is you, that he wants. You just need to find the right church, and yes it may be difficult but it is worth the wait. The support I get from my church in phenomenal. I walked in on a friend’s invite and it went well. I now belong to the ladies group and am involved in several other doings in church. My minister says nowhere in the bible does it say that god does not like you, he may want you to change in some way, but being transgender is not one of them. I am male to female and everyone asks about my progress and some even want me to talk and support transgender people they know. Yes, want me to tell young people what it means to transition and to support them. You should see me on dress day, I don’t have to but it is such a fantastic feeling to be ACCEPTED. I hope this helps you because you do have worth to yourself and to those around you. Debra
- September 5, 2018 at 4:53 am #12293Danielle FoxParticipantSILVER
That is fantastic Debra! Anyone who tells us that we do not belong in a church, because God would not want us, is full of BS! They are hypocrites and not a true Christian according to how God wants us to act. If they quote the Old Testament then they do not believe in Jesus and the new covenant he made with man nor the 10 commandments! “Love thy neighbor as thyself” is one of the oft stated tenets of the New Testament. As Jesus recounted the great commandments and it is actually number 2 and love is what Jesus preached and those hypocrites must not have paid attention in Sunday School. Sorry that is a sore point with me. In the Episcopal Church we had two divisive issues. One was that no female shall be a priest/pastor which I feel is absolute horse pucky. The second was that the Bible and God/Jesus does not love LGBTQ people. I was so disappointed with my fellow parishioners when they left our church and went to a more conservative one. So I am so happy that you were welcomed into a loving church as it should be. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗 💋👠
- August 30, 2018 at 5:40 pm #9978Deborah SimParticipantFREE
When the doctor gave me my prescription for spironolactone, finasteride, and the estradiol patch, I was excited yet a little afraid. excited as I had waited for about 50 years for this dream to come true, and scared as I wasn’t sure how my friends and family would react.
As it turned out all my friends and most of my family were really great, some even saying that it was about time. I guess I wasn’t as good of actor as i thought I was.
Well I had a very bumpy emotional roller coaster ride but the doctor and I have found a pretty good level of hormones, but in that time I am sure there were many people that I must have nearly driven crazy. It has been almost 4 years and I have never felt better
- August 30, 2018 at 12:33 pm #9936LeslieAnneParticipantFREE
Hi Ladies , i have been taking a over the counter hormone purchased from Wal-Mart on line. The instructions said to take 2 three times a day , i did and it made me feel a little strange and my seaman turned dark. This scared me so i just take 2 a day . Everything seems better and i feel wonderful . I feel this has helped me in my breast development as i now am an A to nearly B cup size , as i was flat chested before. I also use a cream on my breast twice a day .I do feel that the hormones are helping , my skin i noticed is much softer and my voice is a lot softer and my body hair has thinned , it to is softer on my legs and easier to shave . I have noticed my mental has changed , i cry easier at sad things , sometimes i have to make myself stop. I have become more fem in my actions and my thoughts , this was my only action in this direction so far. I would love to go all the way , but the cost is huge , so i do what i can.
- August 31, 2018 at 12:14 am #10022
we do not advocate over the counter solutions, particularly in th absence of oversight by a qualified MD. Your experience with darkening of semen is very unusual and if it was still going on I would strongly advise you go see an MD.
Be carful with medications. Many have paid the ultimate price for not having gone the clinical route
- August 30, 2018 at 5:12 am #9853Danielle FoxParticipantSILVER
Well, yesterday was my first counseling session for my gender dysphoria. It went well and I felt at ease with this counselor. We talked for awhile and I recounted my past from age 7 to present. I imagine over the next 4 or 5 sessions I will have recounted some things that I repressed and other things which I did not mention. She has a number of transgender and gender dysphoria patients and teaches a course to would be counselors on gender and transgender counseling. At the moment I feel positive and have been working out some bumps with my wife. I am hopeful for the outcome that I wish to have and my wife will be on the same page as I am by then. I am hoping to be able to do HRT but we will see what the future holds. I am hopeful, scared, apprehensive, anxious, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Life seems slow to get where you want like walking in a swamp. You can’t see where you are stepping and where the dangers are it you keep moving forward all the while you see the alligators on the banks moving. Please just let me get to the first knoll and I will be so happy. I can’t see beyond the first knoll but I know there are more because the path on the map has been trod by so many hrs s souls before me. I just hope i never see the edge of the map because I know what it says. “Here there be monsters”! That would be the horrible thing those who have gone before know as the rejection. You will not progress to HRT you will love the drab life as the sex you were bore as. Could there be anything in this world worse than that? Maybe but it would be devastating. So I am hopeful, scared, apprehensive, anxious and waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I am also happy because I have taken the first step and it was a positive event. TTFN💋👠
- August 30, 2018 at 2:15 am #9800
I was given estradiol patches and the size was so big I was disheartened that the things would constantly fall off. Because of this I knew I needed to go home. The 10 min drive felt like a lifetime and was extended by having to stop and get my celebratory cupcake. After spending an eternity reading the instruction booklet, I showered so my skin would be as receptive as possible to the adhesive. The moment had come and in front of the bathroom mirror, I placed the patch on the back of my shoulder. I twisted and turned to admire it. It was my lifeline and was just never going to look good with an off the shoulder or open back outfit, LOL. I then looked at the bottle of spiro pills and said to myself “girl, you’ve started and the doc assured you this is the right path.
It was cupcake time!
P.S. I had to beg for different patches because the big ones constantly would loosen and fall off long before the expected 7 days. Now I’m on ones about 1/4 the size and getting great results.
- October 7, 2018 at 1:58 am #17297https://transgenderheaven.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/woman-b14-2.jpgAnonymousInactive
How long have you been on HRT? You say you were given estradiol … why estradiol instead of estrogen? Is one better for you personally than the other? Have you begun to develop breasts yet? What is your plan for the time when your breasts begin to enlarge? I should ask if your nipples hurt or ache yet. Do they? Do you have a plan for bras to support your breasts? Have you or anyone else found a very good brand name of a bra that you will enjoy living in? Where do you find your lingerie? Favorite store? Do you have plans to go for a bra fitting? Some lingerie stores ask that you call and speak to a manager and tell them you’d like to be fitted for a bra or bras. I have been told that stores will have you come by after closing and you will have their staff help with your bra fitting. Does anyone have experience to share regarding bra fittings?
- October 14, 2019 at 7:14 am #52761Isabella VerburgParticipantFREE
You asked lots of good questions there. I think different bras fit people differently. I personally like front clasp bras better than rear clasps. Those can be hard for a newly developed transgender to fasten. However, there are tricks and tips in female forums for teenage girls that are newly developed that help. Things like instead of fastening a back fastening bra in back without looking, don’t put your shoulders and arms in yet, fasten the bra in front, then slide it around back, and slip your arms in….voila! Easy peasy, lemon squeezy bra fastening without blinded fingers.
My favorite bra is “sweet nothings”. It fits me awesome and since transgenders tend to be smaller cupped than genetic girl a bra designed to make them appear larger might help. It’s a lightly padded bra which makes it more comfortable, yet you look more feminine. It’s sold at Walmart or was last time I looked. So it’s reasonably priced as well. But every girl seems to have different standards and likes.
As far as sizing. I had issues at first until I found a simple primer on how to size yourself. The basics were the following. Run a measuring tape under your breasts. Make sure there is no slack, but your not cutting off circulation. This is your band size. Because it’s where your band sits. You want it a bit snug. Because if it’s too loose your breasts can slip under your band. Believe me you don’t want to bend over to have a breast slip under your band and get pinched between a band and your ribs when you stand up. It can be quite uncomfortable. Next you want take the same measuring tape and run it around where you breasts stick out most. It’s not as crucial to make sure the tape is tight here. If you don’t mind a little slack in your cups a little slack is fine. Your cup size is going to be roughly one inch per cup size over your band size. For instance if your breasts stick out an inch or less over you band size, you are roughly an A cup. If it’s 2 inches past, your roughly a b cup. Three inches would be a c cup and so forth. I’m 2.5 myself, making it a little harder to find a decent bra. I’m between b and c sizes. I tend to favor b cups, because I’d rather over fill a b by a little then feel small in a c cup. That’s just my own feelings of breast size inadequacy talking though. I prefer bra’s with band and cup sizes to generic sizes like xl, xs, etc…as those tend to fit transgenders poorly. A lot of us have bigger chests, but smaller breasts so we don’t fit well in generic sizes. Some may fit well in them though, so to each there own.
There are many style choices that fix problems as well. Don’t want a bra strap to show? Try a strapless. A bit fish eyed in the breasts (breasts that tend to wander to the side) there are bras designed to push them towards each other. Want to flant it a bit for a date you want to be sexy for? There is the push up solution. Etc…
Some like lace, some hate it (I’m among the haters, it feels scratchy and uncomfortable to me.) But are willing to do with or without to look their best or achieve a certain look. I find female shopping is all about options. Way more options then men have. Including all male options as well. I have girl friends who will unabashadly by male underwear, shoes, or whatever else because they like it better.
I suggest trying it on. It’s the best way to tell. I also suggest paying attention to every detail. I’ve found myself paying so much attention to say….fit. That I get home toss a top over my new bra and look and think “Oh my goodness, I look like a bimo with this top and this bra.” I end up hating it or niche wearing it. I further suggest trying it with something you intend to wear it with. Having visible straps might bother you, only bother you with certain tops, or not bother you all. You won’t know until you try it with everything. Save your receipts. So you can return it later if you hate it.
There is also the braless option. If you are small breasted. You can always skip the bra for most things. Some studies even say it’s healthier. But that brings up issues in itself. I frequently go bra free myself. I feel I’m small enough up top it’s not noticed. However, I do have to be careful in thin shirts to check for rain or watch it at events where water is around. You don’t want to go braless in a white tshirt if rain is even a possibility in the forecast. I found this out rather painfully on the way into the mall when a cloudburst opened up. I was sprinting past a couple where the male of the couple actually stopped running and looked at my chest and grinned. Which made his female companion stop and look too and an elbow to her companions chest that made him grunt. I got a very hostile look that said angry volumes of how I should know better thant to put on a white tshirt contest in a parking lot. It wasn’t my intention of course, but I had to go home red faced and decide between more appropriate layers, an umbrella, a bra, etc… Another problem I’ve found going braless is that the things tend to wander. I often find them getting pinched in armpits, awkwardly wanting to flip out in wide necked shirts, or bounce painfully with jogging, exercising, or running. Most of it’s mildly inconvenient for me except for the exercise. I have to be supported in bouncing activities, braless is not an option then for my own comfort. It all comes down on what your willing to tolerate. Breasts can be a very fun thing to have, but they can also mean never going topless again regardless of heat levels unless you want to be arrested. They can result in pain and discomfort and uncomfortable breast exams. Yes, breast cancer can happen.
- October 11, 2018 at 4:16 am #17895
Thank you for your questions. Estradiol is estrogen, but the right kind for me, which Ive been on since January ’18. There have been many different types created over the years, some of which were quite dangerous having been derived from animals. If you choose to go the HRT route make sure you read up on it and the other hormones you may be prescribed such a T blockers. It will make your conversations with MD’s much more meaningful in developing a plan. I do have breast development and have had itchy and tender phases, but never the outright growing pains some describe. As far as bra’s are concerned, I just go to Victoria Secret and ask for a fitting any time of day.
- October 7, 2018 at 1:45 pm #17361LeslieAnneParticipantFREE
Hi Orrene ,1st , i cannot advise you on HRT only on bras,i haven’t started that yet. To find my fit i went to a place called Thirdlove , they mainly sale bras. They also have a program to walk you through a great fitting. Using there program i found my size to be a 38 B, you’ll be doing some measuring on your self.Their bras are very nice but a little costly, so i mainly shop on WalMart or Amazon. My fave one is Maidenform followed by Tripetals unpadded , these are my favorites.Good luck on your transformation, be the lady you were mint to be.Leslie
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- September 2, 2018 at 7:16 pm #11519
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