Whats in a name, second thoughts

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    • #82956

      Hello and thanks for reading my question.


      My dead name was Tracyee Lynn, I went by Trace all my life as I hated my name. Yes thanks Mom for giving your son not just one, but two androgenous names. Upon starting transition, I decided to change the spelling but embrace my name.

      For me transitioning meant learning and accepting my new pronouns, at group support meeting I always introduce myself as Traci, and give the pronouns he becoming she. I just came out to my family, they live far from me. But after telling them about my transition I realized that I am not he becoming she. He is gone, there is only she. No matter what stage of transition she is in.

      So that made me think more, maybe she needs a new birth name and not a vestage from his. Does anyone have an opinion about that line of comptemplation, or do you think reinventing and embracing a name I never liked as a man may be fitting now?

    • #83052

      I’ve loved music all my life.  I especially enjoyed the discipline of “Choral” type but also quartet too.  So, when I finally decided to feminize my name….   a couple of choices came up and I liked the sound and spelling of Aria… (pronounced R – E  – ah ).  So my hobby and life long love will stay and give me some peace of mind.

    • #83231

      I picked Brittany Ryan because I’ve  always loved Brittany Spears and wanted to look like her. And Ryan is in part of my dead name. Which isn’t exactly completely dead I I have to use it at work for now. But I can’t wait until it’s my only name.

    • #83372

      There was no way to feminize either of my given names into a useful name so I had to come up with a fresh one. In my teenages I read a Swedish youth novel named Peter’s baby about a 15 year old boy becoming a father while still in school and deciding to fix his troublesome life and raise his daughter Lena alone in spite of parents and social workers wanting him to leave her off for adoption. The mother of the girl was named Marianne. Soon after giving birth she gave up the child and moved away to start anew. I often thought about her reasons and actions doing so and the name stuck in my memory. For many years I had no need for a name for my inside girl or female twin as I sometimes thought of her,  but once I let her out and try her own wings I understood she would sooner or later be questioned for her name. Thinking about alternatives, I came to think about Marianne and suddenly realized that apart from the initial consonant, it sounded quite close to my given name, without being in any way related. Coming to Sweden from France in the 18th century it has gained a steady popularity and can easily be found in any age group. Common enough not to trigger questions yet rare enough to suit a very special woman.

      For a second name to go with it I didn’t had to go far to find another very special woman in my life – my maternal grandmother Ellen. Of all persons, I believe she may have understood me most. I will never know for sure though,  as she died years before I set Marianne free.

      Ellen Marianne Tornander


    • #83481

      Isn’t it lovely to be able to change your own name. Jessica was chosen by me and my partner chose Scarlett. It’s true your chosen names mean something so choose wisely. In any case Love to all reading

      Jessica Scarlett.

    • #84158
      Claire D

      If you don’t like the name, you don’t like the name. Have you asked your parents what they might’ve named you had you been AFAB?

    • #84895

      I chose Melanie after a woman who I lived with for a short time in the early 1990s. Although I hadn’t decided to transition back then, I have always had very strong feminine tendencies. She understood and we had many a long girly chat over wine and pizza. She let me borrow some of her clothes too.
      I wanted to break away completely from my old male life but I don’t feel I can change my surname so as not to offend my family. I don’t want them thinking I am abandoning them.

      When I eventually get my gender recognition ceryificate, I’ll change my name legally on my driving licence, cards and everything else. I’m striding forward as Melanie, female, and looking forward to my new life.

    • #85395

      I chose a new given name and a new family name.  For a given name I chose Anne just b/c I enjoyed the sound of it and the image it projected for me…a proper, loving, dignified woman.  For a new family name, I chose Preuss b/c it is Prussian (that is Germanic…not “Russian”) since I am primarily of Prussian heritage.  I’ll bet my Prussian ancestors are rolling in their graves now about me.  🙂  Anyway, my point is that you should give careful consideration to what you choose…if you don’t like your present given name, then by all means change it to something you will like and enjoy telling to everyone.   “Hi.  My name is….”

    • #85728

      I chose a new surname as well as feminine first name.  My birth name is/was too masculine and my old surname was too strange.   If anyone did a search on my old surname, they would find things I’d rather keep to myself.  I have been outed by my siblings/family for years, but they only know me by either my birth name or an old feminine name I used to use.  They are so transphobic!

      I’ve been using this name for the last 6 years.  I had used three other names before, also with different surnames since 1995.  I chose this name (Meran) as it is European and used by both genders.  Even though my heritage is German, I chose an Irish surname as well.  Nothing in my name now points to anything close to my birth name.  Not even the initials.

    • #85734

      I was given the name Andrew at birth. I always hated it, and once I discovered that I was trans, I jumped at the opprotunity to change it.

      Admittedly, I got a handful of good friends to try names that I thought I’d prefer, like getting a new dog. Each couple of hours, we’d change what name I was trying, before settling on Abigail (Abby)

    • #87178

      My name is because when I was very young my sister use to dress me up like a girl. She called me Cindy. I guess she was right all along. With my transition ,it seemed like a logical choice. Since this is like a renaissance of sorts. I chose Cindy Reborne, because it is who I am from now on.

    • #88215

      Hi. Jenni is the name I chose for myself, and my dead first name became my new surname, with a spelling change. I kept hold of that part because without Neil, Jenni would not be the person she is. It took all of my life experience to make me who I am, and I wanted to remember that too.

      I am proud of the man I was, but I love the woman I am. J xcxcxc

    • #88216

      My name is Chrissy. I was given the name Christopher at birth and whenever I heard that name I thought it was far too formal. My name Chrissy was actually what my mum called me, whilst my dad called me Christopher. Although I am transgender and Chrissy is my name, my dad continues calling my the name he gave me. I find that reslly upsetting.

    • #89097
      Michelle Lawson

      Back in the old medieval times, when I was born, they didn’t have modern medical stuff. So you never knew until the baby was born. The feminine version of me would have been called Michelle. I never knew that until a few years ago when I ‘had that talk’ with my mother (I hate ‘coming out’; it sounds like something from a game show to me). That is when she told me. So, that is the name I went with. It was my name anyway; so why change perfection! 🙂

    • #89516

      I was named after my father. So my name was Cesar Jr. I decided on Vanessa. The way I did this was by trying it out and seeing what names stood out to me. Every time I tried introducing myself (with no one around. Usually while I was driving at work) in a  feminine voice, Vanessa would come out before any other name. I tried other names and I decided that I love being Vanessa. Although I don’t want to be called V for short. The only nickname I like is Van. So I would like to be called either Vanessa or Van.

    • #93428

      See I was blessed with a unisex name, It is spelled the same for either gender. I have given many thoughts about if I would change my name to Hippie legally. I been known by this most of my life.

      But I do have a second choice in case the law says for some reason I can’t that name. That name would be Heather LoriBeth and my current last name. Heather, because she was the one that started me on this journey and LoriBeth, because she was Richie Cunningham girlfriend on Happy Days and I always loved that name.


    • #95185

      My birth name is Steve. I didn’t really like any other of the names that started with S. I chose Breanne. It was a name that I found that I had an immediate connection with that no other name had. I’m still on the hunt for a middle name. I’ve yet to come across one that I connect with.

    • #95196
      Michelle Lawson

      Hi all…. Since I was born back before sonograms; parents usually picked a couple of names. If I had been born as the finished me, I would have been named Michelle Leigh. My mother never told me that until the day I told her I could longer remain her son, but become her daughter. Talk about scared…. But mom was great; like any mother, she provided comfort, understanding, and acceptance. So, later this year, I will be going down to the local courthouse and turning in the paperwork for a legal name change. Hugs, Michelle

    • #102547

      I love what you said about “There is only she, no matter what stage of transition I’m in.” I’ve been going through this very awkward stage in my early transition. I’m moving away from this male persona that was my mode of expression all these years, but I’m no where close to a female persona, at least from a physical appearance. I’m in a very nebulous place. Clearly not one or the other. I have been holding off on my chosen name of Alicia. I chose that name as it was my grandmother’s, whom I loved, middle name. I felt it’s been really important to break free of my chosen name that I never really embraced, Carlos. So for me starting on this new path with an entirely new name has been essential. I’m very happy and love my name. Now, for me it’s allowing myself to embrace that part of me no matter how I look. I appreciate this discussion. Really helped me to move forward.

      Thank you,

      Alicia Arballo

    • #102601

      Hi Traci… or whatever name you wish to be known as!

      You are indeed starting a new life so it’s only right to start with a new identity. I was named after my biological father… a name I’ve despised my entire life until now. My mother wanted Stewart as my forename so I have chosen that as my surname. My middle name has been in my mother’s female line going back many generations so that was a ‘no-brainer’. For my chosen name… well, it’s in honour of my wife who is the real deal when it come to being a Pollyanna! So… Polly it is!
      All my parents are dead both biological and step so a name change was not only timely but… well, necessary!

      Love Polly

    • #111192

      I was named after my father, and the only thing my mother hated worse than my name was him. But, she insisted that I become Hal and not Harold, and Hal is kind of a different, not so common name, and it fits me. Haley just seemed natural to me, I didn’t even have to think about i. The first time I put on my wig, slid those forms into my bra, and looked in the mirror I knew my name was Haley. It’s who I am now, a fun, sexy girl with a name that I can respond to and identify all of the other components of my life with. I hope you work it out and the results make you happy.


      • This reply was modified 2 years ago by Haley Ann.
    • #118574

      When I was just thinking of myself as a crossdresser I used a few names until I settled on Sabrina. I kinda soured on the name when I had the displeasure of knowing a few Sabrinas that I couldn’t stand. So earlier this year when I came to the realization that I am trans and decided to change, I decided a new name was needed. I’ve been learning Welsh and I decided that Gweneira was a good name and it translates as Snow White. I’ll keep my old first name (Scott) as my new last name.

    • #118985
      Liz K

      I don’t like my legal name at all.  Emily Alt is a working name that I like well enough.  I haven’t decided if I like it enough to make it my legal name.  One thing is for sure – when the time comes to legally change my name, I won’t choose a name that links to my past.  I want a clean break.

      • #124392

        Traci, my opinion is that making such a big change in your appearance and way of thinking about yourself can be reinforced by a new name, irrespective of how you were previously named. You are after all a new woman 🙂


    • #126008

      Hi.  I am not out yet, but had referred to my femme self as Stephanie…I remembe being 7 or 8 and overhearing my mom talking with my aunt that her pregnancy with me was so much different than my older bother that they were convinced I was going to be a girl…and that if I had, my name would’ve been Stephanie.  If my parents give me a hard time or do not accept, I would drop it in a min.

      I am also considering keeping my current initials, and if do…would be thinking of Jenna, Jamie, or Jayne…with Charlotte or Charlize as a middle name.

      I am also married with kids and think of including them in the naming process as well.

      So confused.  thoughts?



    • #130744

      [quote quote=84158]f you don’t like the name, you don’t like the name. Have you asked your parents what they might’ve named you had you been AFAB?[/quote]
      That’s exactly what I did!! It certainly helped with family members too. I also went for a new family name to keep an extinct name going a little longer. That calmed down my professional siblings who were a little hostile of my actions somehow causing them damage….

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