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I’ve been meaning to ask this question for a while, so here goes. Why are so many of the women where I work fascinated with me and attracted to me as a trans woman? This is not my imagination. I have ladies that are buying me makeup and skin care products, talking with me about my own makeup, discussing the best eyeliner, eyeshadow colors or mascara and foundations. I’ve been taken shopping enfemme several times, even for lingerie, out for lunch or coffee and gone for walks. I work at the security desk at the main entrance to my building, so everybody sees me all the time when they come and go. Every day I have ladies stopping and wanting to know how things are, how the transition is going and even asking about hormones or surgery, lots of curiosity! They want to know what I’m doing for Pride Month. I’ve been told by several of the admin staff that I am a topic of conversation upstairs and that I am considered a role model with an important “mission” ahead of being “an ambassador for trans gender people” who want to transition at work.
Now I’m moving to a new residence, and even that has ben arranged by ladies where I work, now they’re all asking how the move is going. I’m certainly not complaining as it has been, and still is, amazingly wonderful and definitely helps with transitioning to living as a woman full time.
What are your thoughts? Have any of you experienced this?Hugs girls,
Lauren M
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Hi Lauren, personality hun. We are a curiosity but also interesting and special. I get the same reaction, almost always positive and engaging. But more than that a genuine interest and empathy. I don’t get hit on too much by men…they seem a little nervous but often women and some gay men (surprising) I’m gregarious and very friendly so I guess that helps. Smiling a lot helps too!
Alex x3 users thanked author for this post.
I’ve had very positive reactions from the women I work with now as well as with former colleagues. I have been deeply touched by their excited, supportive and encouraging responses.
I also have been pleasantly surprised, stunned really, by the responses of women I have met when going out, particularly to LGBTQ friendly bars. Everything from casual compliments and drinks to long and intimate conversations that I never would have had when presenting as a male.
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Wow Lauren, you must be in heaven right now! That is so cool!! Enjoy the attention.
Hugs,
Brie
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The article I posted is actually a video of a speech that I did for International Women’s Day back in March. Near the end of it, I specifically talked about the women’s community here. I mentioned how I felt embraced by the women here and how that surprised me. I have no idea as to exactly why this is, but it feels pretty good to me. Also, it felt pretty natural. While I do try to be mindful and respectful of my surroundings, I didn’t feel any pressure to conform to anything in particular.
In thinking about it, for you, some possibilities come to mind:
- You mentioned that you are well known in your work setting. That says that a number of people knew you before and after. There may be some curiosity regarding if you are the same person or a different person. From my experience, the answer would be Yes.
- There may be a novelty factor. People may have read about Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, the Wachowskis, Dr. Lynn Conway, Stephanie Battaglino, and others and now you fell into their laps.
- Folks know that there is a lot of scrutiny involving you and your situation. For the good of all concerned, some may feel that visibly accepting you helps the situation and may begin the normalization process.
- Some may know other trans people in their lives and want to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.
- Anyway, I suspect that if you ask 10 people about why they responded to your situation as they did, you will get 10 different responses. I think we also have to remember that women function very differently in social settings. Consensus and collaboration have a higher priority, so perhaps the thought is about creating minimal change in the work environment.
Anyway, you pose an interesting question! It will be interesting to read other comments. I would also add: Enjoy It!!
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Omg, revel in it. Hugs Katie
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