why does this feel so embarrassing?

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #96290
    Liam Stardust
    Participant

    I don’t know if the rest of y’all had this experience when you first started thinking about transitioning, but I feel stupid whenever I think of taking steps to be more in line with my identity (for example: getting my hair cut shorter, going by different name/pronouns, etc.). Something just feels so humiliating about wanting this. I’ve come out to one of my close friends and to my therapist, but the idea of being open about this with anyone else in my life makes me feel sick. I have an intense fear of being stuck in the wrong identity for the rest of my life, but at the same time, I’m really anxious that I could come out as trans and then later find out I was “wrong.”

     

    I don’t know if anyone else relates or if I’m just weird, but I just thought I would put it out there because it’s really holding me back.

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  • Author
    Replies
    • #96302
      Sharon
      FREE

      I feel exactly the same.  I have kept my name as it not gender specific (not the one I use on here).

      I feel embarrassed to ask people to use different pronouns, unless someone asks, although the pronouns associated with my birth sex do sting.

      I have come out to people close to me, then my friends and colleagues, and they have all been great.  I have had no bad reaction yet, but I have yet to tell my elderly parents. I need to feel comfortable with myself first.  I am lucky to have a wife, son, and a network of friends and colleagues that love and support me, so it gets better over time.

       

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #96301

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Liam, we are all ever evolving, what we are here and now is not what we’ll be forever- that’s the beauty of life. Do what feels good and right to and for you and if in future you change thats OK, as long as you are happy and comfortable in yourself. Lots of people think labels are like a box, once youre in a box you can’t get out and thats not true. There is no box, hun. Wish I could hug you and tell you just be you cos you are wonderful.</p>

    • #96297
      DeeAnn Hopings
      AMBASSADOR

      I think it is what the mind does in order to try to steer you away from doing something that is difficult, stressful and is likely to cause a fair amount of upheaval before things settle down…

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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