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Hi everyone! I had my best-ever time out at our local Meetup TG/CD group meeting Saturday night. We had a slightly smaller, but very engaging group with some established members and some new people as well. I was chatting with a transman and 2 other transwomen (one very shy, one still presenting masculine, but on their way for sure). I met the transman (Dylian) when I first joined the group in October last year, but all three commented on how comfortable and nautral Brielle was. Dylian had context since he saw me at my very tentative, fealful beginning. I have been feeling more confident the last few weeks, even though I’ve only dressed female a couple of times over the last 3-4 weeks. I kind of “observed” how I sat straighter and leaned in to converse, how I walked, and expressed myself. Not in terms of trying to do those things, but just noticed I could do them without having to think much about them!
I don’t know if it’s the hormones or just time allowing Brielle to have the lead, or some combination, but it feels absolutely delicious to get such validation! We all agreed we need to get together more than once a month so we can support each other better. I also observed I am noticing men more than I ever would have before. Not so much in terms of sexual thoughts, but in terms of companionship. Same for women, but noticing guys is definitely a new experience!
So all trans people and CDs here can do this if you just believe in yourself and follow the dream yiou have to live your authentic life. It’s right there for the taking!
Hugs and kisses,
Brie
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Hi Brie, Hi DeeAnn, It is amazing and very wonderful, to watch and experience yourself, being set free to truly become the woman you were always meant to be. It’s been such an emotional time for me, I’ve had so many trans sisters get in touch with me, saying how much my story, my journey, has had a profound and very positive effect on them. I am truly humbled, and honored, to be able to help these girls set them selves free.
Love you girls, really do, tears are flowing.
Lauren M
This is precisely why I encourage people not to leave the community after they transition. Even if they never did anything, just showing up sends a powerful message. It says that in spite of all of the BS that gets sent our way, we can survive and thrive. The longer that we are here reinforces this point.
Personally, I really have a hard time with hearing “I just want to live my life” or “I’m not an activist”. What they fail to realize is that they are riding on our coattails and they should be embarrassed, but they aren’t…
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Hi DeeAnn, you are so right! I plan on staying active here and on CDH for a long, long time. I have to admit, I have said I didn’t want to be an activist but rather an advocate. But all the BS that’s being thrown around right now is changing my thinking.
Thanks!
Brie
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There are lots of ways to be involved. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the one out front with the bullhorn! We all have to sort out what we are comfortable with and what fits our lives. Clearly, though, there is work to be done.
It has always been important that we fight for ourselves. If we don’t, it sends a message to others that we are not interested and that becomes an excuse for others not to support us…
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You are experiencing what I call “settling in”. After we have concluded who we really are, it takes time until we can Walk The Walk. In part, I also think we have also given up a lot of our male posturing in order to get to this point. In addition, there is a shift in our perspective on how we interact with the world, and how we expect the world to interact with us. If you read the stories of trans people, MANY knew that we were different at quite young ages. But, there is a difference between knowing information intellectually and internalizing that information.
I don’t know if we will ever exactly get to the point where we think and function 100% as our target gender, but we will get pretty close as long as we remember the differences, how they play out and get some control over our male privilege and sexism. The problem is that probably most of us who come to our real gender identity in later years need to understand how male privilege and sexism work, and how we have bought into it, in order to let it go.
Now some trans women may say that they have always felt that they were female. While that can be true, we have to remember the world that surrounds us and the expectations it has for us. I think it is hard to grow up in such a way as to be completely unaffected by the concepts of male privilege and sexism.
Interesting what you said about noticing men. I have a long history of noticing man and women. While I have aligned myself with the lesbian community more for social and political reasons, I am bisexual. For me, attraction doesn’t have a lot to do with plumbing…
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