Having genetic female friends

I am truly blessed to have a great group of genetic female friends. They know me for who I am now, and who I was before, and could care less if I show up in drab — of course, I would rather not do that — or classy casual.  I used to lament getting older, because I felt losing my youth meant losing my ability to fit in and be accepted. As I have gotten older (much older actually), I have learned from my many cisgender female friends to stop caring so much about what other people think, and just please myself as to how I look.

That, of course, is easy for them to say, as they have never had a second thought about being perceived as anything other than who they are. I, on the other hand, tend to persist in working to be reasonably fashionable, while most of the cisgender girls my age (65+) wear very little makeup and frankly don’t seen to feel any need to try much in the the fashion department.  I am grateful that my girlfriends support my need to spend more effort on my appearance than they do, and are always working to care for me and make me feel accepted. Two of my closest girlfriends are actually very entertained with my efforts, and seem to enjoy it when I do something they once did, but no longer feel the need to do.

I have become more comfortable being less “done-up” but still like to keep a high standard of appearance, just to please myself. Appearance does matter. Lately, however, with the help of some great girlfriends, I have found that it’s not as critical as it once was to me.

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Carla Roberts

I am an older late 60’s Transwoman (non-op) living my life as I choose, after many years of having to be something I am not.

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Lana LangCarla RobertsLea HendersonSelina PintarJ G Recent comment authors
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Lana Lang

Having genetic female friends is important. I was fortunate to have one starting very young. She was accepting, supportive and loving. She made everything so much better. Girlfriends are wonderful and provide the support, understanding and acceptance we all need!

Lea Henderson

Thanks for pointing this one out to me Vanessa. Oh how true it rings. I kind of laugh at it and myself at the same time seeing a lot of myself in this article… Accepting denying going through changes getting older becoming wiser and appreciating those around me that much more… Not just my family but my lady friends accept me for who I am… I appreciate that very much. So it’s not something that I have to forcibly deal at I can just relax more and be who I am… With all my different facets… And fight it even… Read more »

Selina Pintar

I agree with this completely. Being one of the girls with my genetic girlfriends is more important to me than any other part of my transition.

Layla Jynsen

I do have a few genetic female friends. Although they are all so far away. I feel alone. I do have genetic female support near me though, doctors, nurses, other veterans. I do feel blessed to have those that i do. I’m in a transitional shelter at the moment living on the females floor, since I identify as female. I couldnt be happier right now. Thank you for sharing. It can be invigorating to get help from genetic females. I love shopping, once I tell the manager and such, they are always happy to help with with combinations of clothing.… Read more »

Selina Pintar

Hugs and greetings to one of my veteran sisters on Veterans Day.


Carla Your post gives me a renewed feeling about myself and my hopes of being accepted as my fem self. You are very lucky to have such wonder friends , I would love to have someone to care about and do things with.You rock girl, and look very sweet , enjoy life.Leslie

Shelley Spickler

I can very much relate to your post Carla. My girlfriend and her daughters,my sister-in laws,and my neighbor all so helpfull with advise. Some with makeup others with hair. Just being one of the girls is all i ever wanted.We always have fun shopping guaranteed!!

Terri Anne

Carla, A wonderful post. Thank you for sharing about your experiences and friends.
You give me hope.
-Terri Anne

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