That was a question I was asked recently while in conversation about living outside the box
I had not considered this question consciously before, so I took pause for a minute to consider my response.
I have been a social person for as long as I can remember, and I also place high value on privacy. A safe, supportive environment is one of the top ‘conditions required’ for personal growth, creativity, and expansion as a human being. If it does not exist outside me, I must create it inside.
Creativity simply cannot happen when our emotional state is stuck in the fight, flight, freeze primary response mode.
The wonderful soul I was chatting with said, “At first I really hated that people would stare at us when we were in public together some were bold enough to come right up and ask questions”.
Her partner was in a wheel chair, “but now” she continued, “I understand that learning happens when we look, so I had to learn to let people look, and for those brave enough to ask, I learned how to share understanding about something that might be a totally new experience for them”.
This beautiful soul is a teacher of children; our world is a better place because of who she chooses to be, and I am grateful!
I began my reply to her question; for those of us living outside the box, the switch that controls our primary response is often like a hair trigger on a pistol; sensitive.
So, it requires a conscious intention and self-awareness on our part. When I am in public places and someone smiles as we make eye contact, I pause for a second and choose a meaning to give it; instead of reacting, fight, flight, I choose how I want to see it, then how I want to respond.
I choose to imagine that the smile is one of kindness, and sharing joy, like a lil’ mini high five
My own childhood program, however, would see that smile as me being laughed at, victimized and shamed. The actual intention of the one smiling is a small matter compared to the meaning I give it.
Seeing the smile in a negative way would instantly trigger the primary response sequence and my body would prepare to fight, flee or freeze; this lasted well into adulthood and in fact, until I became more aware of my-self.
Conscious awareness changed the game for me, and it will for anyone who chooses to look, ask questions kindly and learn, not only of others and new things, but also of the self.
Awareness gives us choices
My short answer to the question is: It is all in how I choose to perceive the look or smile.
When I choose to see myself (self-image) as being laughed at, or I feel attacked, I cause my-self pain.
When I see the smile or look as one of encouragement, I feel empowered and confident. The smile/attention is the same in any event and the only part I can control, is how I choose to see it; what meaning I choose to place on it.
This week remember that each of us is gifted with the power within to manage our own thoughts, feelings, and actions independently of what is going on outside of us.
Mastery of this life skill is as valuable as oxygen; it is a life saver because learning it will not only improve your own life but also the lives of countless people you care about for generations to come.
Thank you for reading Your Weekly Reset and thank you for being exactly who you are!
Namasté n huggles