It started with a pair of tights

My mother wanted a girl when I was born. My mom put tights on me on for a family picture day. From then on, I knew that I was supposed to be a girl. I started out dressing in my grandmother’s dress. All dressed up made me feel human.

My desire to crossdress went away for several years and then I got married. My wife didn’t know that I dressed while she was at work. I would slip into something more comfortable: nylons, dress, bra, I even tried on some makeup. I felt happy and more right than ever before.  It happened, and my wife found out, though the only thing she said was to stop wearing her dresses. I’m guessing that she didn’t know what to say or talk about. 

I began to buy my own female attire and now I have more than she does. I’ve bought dresses from stores, makeup, and even perfume, and I’m not afraid of what people will think.  I love dressing up and looking feminine more and more. When no children are home, I dress from head to toe. My wife would tell me that it’s ok to do what I like to do; that’s my cue to dress up.

En Femme Style

The only thing I can’t do is sit in same room with wife and talk as two women would. She has seen me getting dressed, putting on makeup, perfume, and nylons all the while talking to me, but then she leaves the room. She doesn’t ask if I need help with makeup or with styling my wig.  I learned on my own how to apply makeup. It was a normal feeling for me to get dressed up and apply my makeup, style my wig, and look feminine.

Getting dressed up makes me feel good and happy about myself.  I had my niece dress me up one year for Halloween; she enjoyed it, and so did I. Being able to look and pass as a female was so exciting.  As for my niece, I believe she knows that I’m a crossdresser. My daughter has seen a picture of me dressed that I’d forgotten to put away and showed it to her mother, so I think she knows. My daughter told her mom that it’s his body and he can do what he likes to do with it. 

Now, I only dress when no other adult child is home. I dress when I can. I under-dress in winter time and I feel good. I wish society would be more open with crossdressers; its 2019 and there are groups out there. Women can dress in men’s clothing and wear no makeup, so why can’t men dress like woman and wear makeup?  For me, dressing is showing the true part of me that wants to come out.  For now, I guess I’ll do what I can do, even if it means staying in the closet.



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    Lucinda Hawkins

    x dresser for many years, started with a pair of tights in a school play i was hooked, from there i was trying on more female clothing, then it went away for years. then later in life it came back stronger. now i but my own collection of female clothing, wife knows and lets me dress up but only when our last adult child is not home. wife found out i have more female cloths then she does. i even wear them more then she does. i under dress allot of times in winter time, then when no one is home for hours i dress up and feel great and happy and sexy. less depression and less panic attacks. i feel like the woman i should of been

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    John Jackson
    John Jackson(@jackjohnny)
    4 years ago

    Thank you for sharing your experiences. For me it started with pantihose under my pants. The first time outside last week, I was so nervous but so turned on. Did anyone feel the same.

    Gerri Aka Niall
    4 years ago

    Hiya Lucinda, And LoL 🙂 I was born in Scotland, now living in Northern Ireland, and culture wise very akin to the Scots. Even as a bloke, one NEVER calls a Kilt a skirt, unless it is a teenage schoolgirl uniform. Old Joke in the accent — “Anyoon dat says I wear a Skirt, wyl soon find oot why its Kilt ( play on the accent and wordplay as to Killed. accents do NOT work well in the written word, but think “Trainspotting" book & movie 😉 ). Not I adovocate violence in any way at all. Also in many… Read more »

    Andrea Lynch
    Andrea Lynch(@andrea1)
    4 years ago
    Reply to  John Jackson

    I only go out at night, feel free and strong in g-string, bra and little black dress. The sound of my high heels clip clopping in the night makes me feel something I can’t describe. Would love to go out by day but just can’t yet. I’ve never communicated these things to anyone. Reading all these posts I realise I’m not alone.

    April King
    Active Member
    April King(@april-king)
    4 years ago

    Staying in the closet is OK hon. Just come out if and when you are ready. We’re here for you.


    Shanda Labonte
    Shanda Labonte(@trixietkw)
    4 years ago

    Not sure who this reply is to … just wanted to acknowledge the underlying theme. At some point in dressing i become a woman like bread and wine into the body and blood. No less miraculous 👩‍🎤

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