My mother wanted a girl when I was born. My mom put tights on me on for a family picture day. From then on, I knew that I was supposed to be a girl. I started out dressing in my grandmother’s dress. All dressed up made me feel human.
My desire to crossdress went away for several years and then I got married. My wife didn’t know that I dressed while she was at work. I would slip into something more comfortable: nylons, dress, bra, I even tried on some makeup. I felt happy and more right than ever before. It happened, and my wife found out, though the only thing she said was to stop wearing her dresses. I’m guessing that she didn’t know what to say or talk about.
I began to buy my own female attire and now I have more than she does. I’ve bought dresses from stores, makeup, and even perfume, and I’m not afraid of what people will think. I love dressing up and looking feminine more and more. When no children are home, I dress from head to toe. My wife would tell me that it’s ok to do what I like to do; that’s my cue to dress up.
The only thing I can’t do is sit in same room with wife and talk as two women would. She has seen me getting dressed, putting on makeup, perfume, and nylons all the while talking to me, but then she leaves the room. She doesn’t ask if I need help with makeup or with styling my wig. I learned on my own how to apply makeup. It was a normal feeling for me to get dressed up and apply my makeup, style my wig, and look feminine.
Getting dressed up makes me feel good and happy about myself. I had my niece dress me up one year for Halloween; she enjoyed it, and so did I. Being able to look and pass as a female was so exciting. As for my niece, I believe she knows that I’m a crossdresser. My daughter has seen a picture of me dressed that I’d forgotten to put away and showed it to her mother, so I think she knows. My daughter told her mom that it’s his body and he can do what he likes to do with it.
Now, I only dress when no other adult child is home. I dress when I can. I under-dress in winter time and I feel good. I wish society would be more open with crossdressers; its 2019 and there are groups out there. Women can dress in men’s clothing and wear no makeup, so why can’t men dress like woman and wear makeup? For me, dressing is showing the true part of me that wants to come out. For now, I guess I’ll do what I can do, even if it means staying in the closet.