Lemonade – My Recent Journey of Trans Acceptance

The last few weeks have been pretty tough for me, to say the least. Battling a mind that seemingly wages war on who I see myself as and fighting a body that struggles with health is difficult. Going through eight rounds of chemotherapy in order to help my body do what it needs was definitely not on my 2025 Bingo card. I think a lot of things weren’t on my 2025 Bingo card.

This year has been emotionally, financially, societally, and just about any other “ially” in levels of challenge for me, and most certainly for our trans community as a whole. I started the year determined to find acceptance of who I am, and despite some lemons along the way – I’m feeling pretty good about it. Having this downtime gave me a lot to think about.

Since childhood, I knew I felt a bit different. I didn’t know what the “Different” was, but I just knew something lay just beneath the surface, waiting to be discovered. After nearly twenty years, I was able to put a name to this: Transgender. What a wonderful discovery that was! And at the same time, I found myself paralyzed by the fear of persecution, along with a lack of acceptance from those I loved most… Including myself. Despite this, I tried to be who I was. It didn’t last long.

I went back into the closet and blended in for the next ten years. In 2025, and in light of everything that was happening, it came time for me to step back out of the closet and proudly announce the arrival of Emit… to at least two people: Myself and my partner. So, my journey re-began, and I decided it was time to make some friends, accept myself, and be who I am.

We all know the adage – “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” There is no doubt that many of us have had plenty of practice making said proverbial lemonade. Especially for those of us who find ourselves journeying on this yellow brick road of gender identity, wondering if those ruby red slippers really do work, or if we are Dorothy and simply dreaming. Is it just wishful thinking? A daydream spent along a clearly marked path, accompanied by our ragtag companions, learning together how to accept ourselves and find the beauty in who we really are?

I know I spent many years wondering about these things. Wanting to find others to connect with, wishing in my heart of hearts that like Pinocchio I could be a real boy. I became aware of my creator, cursing them for making me in a way I didn’t want to be. Waiting for my moment when there, Ain’t no strings on me. And then, someone comes along to tell me I am fine the way I am, that I don’t need all that nonsense to know what I am. I can know who I am, and I can share it with others. My very own Jiminy Cricket. Much to my surprise, this little voice sounded a lot like mine. And with time, I began to see that I could be my own hero. I could walk my own yellow brick road and be the man I felt I was. I was always a real boy. And while I have only come out to a select few (now a whole four people!) – it is my start, and my way of being seen. It feels really nice. You might want to try it with those whom you know are safe – you could be pleasantly surprised.

I do want to share one more thing. You don’t need everyone else to tell you who you are or that you have a right to exist. (Just so you know, you do.) I really had time to reflect on this reality these last few weeks. Though things seem grim, there are many kind people out here. Many more good-hearted people who want to share that love with you. But it’s always nice to make a few genuine friends along the way. TGH has provided me with such friends, the powers that be have provided me with a lifelong companion, and I have found acceptance and love, not only from those around me, but most importantly, from deep inside of me, which I learned is where the love needs to start.

Just remember, we are all on our own journey, and we all have our own story, but we are all on this boat together. We can find our way through love, acceptance, change, boldness, and bravery, however that looks to you. I am thrilled to be here and excited to be a part of this community. I am glad to have such lovely folk in our spaces, and I am grateful for the privilege to be able to speak my truth.