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    Jackie Smith

    Hello, Coming out late in life has certainly provided challenges; doctors, therapists, clothes, shoes, make-up, finding a style, changing my name, learning how to walk and talk like a woman, trying to find friends to get dressed up with and go out dancing for an evening, and starting HRT have made for plenty of ups and downs. Ironically, the biggest challenge of this journey for me has been acceptance of myself. My dysphoria probably plays a role to a point. In some respects, my journey has been typical of others. I’ve gone through elation and euphoria, doubt and denial, and back again; all the while, questioning whether what I am doing is the right thing to do. Then I contemplate returning to an existence that did not include HRT. I am soooo over T. How aggressive is that stuff?! I love the changes in my emotions and attitudes about everything in life. And I absolutely love and adore how I feel free to express my empathy and compassion for all things openly and with conviction. The conviction part has been a more recent part of my journey, as I grow stronger and more assured about myself, and presenting my feminine side (i.e. going out dressed). Currently, I am in an awkward zone of transition; approaching feminine through an androgynous presentation. I had to wait for two years prior to an HRT regimen due to a necessary operation. That finally occurred, and I started HRT nearly 5 months ago. It has taken some tweaking in, but we’re nearly there. I’m glad I did all that through an Endocrinologist, as opposed to getting the hormones off the street, or through an online facility. As it turned out, I started suffering some complications and it turned out that the Spiro had to be decreased. The excessive potassium was causing all sorts of problems, not the least of which was heart palpitations. So, for any beginners out there, please get your hormones from a licensed endocrinologist. Love, Jackie

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