Something I think a lot of trans people, especially us older folks deal with is in coming to terms with our past identities. It can be a road block during transition, especially if you are not moving away, changing jobs, or your career. For me, I occupy the exact same space I did...
Author Archive for: Devebond
The mirror reflects the image that the surrounding light illuminates. While it reflects literally what’s right in front of it, the interpretation of what we see depends on the observer. At some point in my childhood the image staring back at me in the mirror bec...
A few months ago, I went to court to testify as part of my job. When I came out full-time, the legal counsel for where I work sent out a memo to all Prosecuting offices in our area, informing them of the name change and everything. I had no trouble testifying. Sometimes, it can b...
How did I know I was trans? When did I realize I was trans? Part Two
Stephanie Do I Need to Transition? 5Puberty brought with it a whole lot of different emotions and experiences. As for most people, my puberty years were confusing. Everything got exaggerated; feelings, depression, anxiety, and loneliness to mention a few. I spent most of the time by myself. I also spent extra time ...
How did I know I was trans? When did I realize I was trans? Part One
Stephanie Do I Need to Transition? 3These are complicated questions for me, and they have complicated answers. When I first realized I needed to transition, I could have pinpointed specific days or times to answer either of those questions. However, my perspective on my past has changed quite a bit in the past few ...
My therapist asked a question this week that I am not sure I know how to answer. When will I be able to stop being “trans” and just be a woman. The only answer that I have is that I will always be trans. It describes my experience and allows others like me to know what I am g...
Coming out to my parents was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It was the last wall to climb in truly accepting myself and in my coming out to the world. I have always been extremely close to both my parents; well, maybe not always. They’ve always been my parents...
Once I got on antidepressants, I started to get a better grasp of everything. I felt as if I could finally let the weight fall from my shoulders; unburden those immense feelings that were smothering me and lay them down. I felt like I could calmly work through one by one all the ...
To continue, 2018 began with me being in a state of limbo, so to speak. I was caught between dueling personalities. One existed solely because of the fear that my world would fall apart if anyone found out about the other. And that other one was giving me increasing amounts of...
The year of the Phoenix, 2018; it was the absolute worst year of my life, and yet, the most wondrous year of my life. The year rang in amongst a chaos of emotions throughout my life at that time. My egg cracked years before, and I was still trying to decipher the fallout while...
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