A path to metamorphosis

Inspired by Sophie’s Song (Sweet Butterfly)
a song written and performed by Walter Trout

I hadn’t listened to this track for quite some time, mainly due to the vast amount of music I have in my collection. I came across a file on my computer, in a folder that I use for my blog site, and was curious to learn of its content, it being a music file; I don’t feature music on the site. The file was named Sweet Butterfly. I clicked on it and the music began. At first I couldn’t identify the artist, but as soon as the vocals began, it clicked – Walter Trout! He is an artist, whom I have nearly all of his recordings. I quickly made a search for the song; finding nothing! Onto the internet, where I soon discovered the real title of the song was Sophie’s Song! What? The thought bounced around for a brief moment; now it was starting to make sense. It was a song that I was originally attracted to because of the title – surprise!

Sweet butterfly

Listening to the lyrics of the song, I found that I could identify with them in another way and not as intended by Walter in his rendition of the song. They relate more to an earlier point in my life; before I was able to begin transition and when I was only able to take solace in periods of time to pacify my needs to be Sophie.

I see your image every day and night
and I reach out and you’re not there.
So I ask God to hear my prayer

Below is another extract that I feel conveys the self-distancing that we can go through when unable to be the person we are; being so close and yet so far away at the same time!  Within our moments of struggling with a dual life, and in our desperation and pure need, we ask God to help us resolve the conflict. Many of you can identify with these lyrics, some may not see my interpretation of them, but I have an underlying instinct that I have learned to trust more lately. So, I share this with you to show that we have many threads that connect us all; ones we can follow towards our own destination, with a shared knowledge and support that we are not alone. We are part of a very strong community, which collectively could be a powerful force in the world, if we ever unite on one front.

And when you float on away
you remain inside of me
in a hidden place
no one else can see

This reminds me so much of how I spent a great part of my life! There was a time when I would reflect on those moments, tears easily rolling down my cheeks as I felt the sadness and sorrow those memories induced and gave life to once again. Now I can revisit memories of my past life without being reduced to tears. I am not certain that all of the sadness will ever dissipate.

Emerging into a new world

I recognise and understand the difficulties I put myself through; yes, I did mean to say ‘I put myself through.’ That’s exactly what I did; nobody else is directly responsible for any of it. If I went through a form of metamorphosis, it must have been one of the longest ones. But now, I have my wings and they look beautiful, shimmering in the sunlight, brightly coloured, not too big or too small, and suit me just fine. Soon I will be able to fully expand them and ‘fly away sweet butterfly.’

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Born in London, England and a life long journey incorporating two marriages and a long relationship that eventually brought me to France. My two children and all of my family are fine with my choice to finally be the person I have always been. I am a creative, artistic soul who loves good food,cooking and real friends. Will I ever fall in love, will someone fall in love with me and does it matter? I have the love of my family and some very good friends in my life

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