The Far Side of Getting Old

To quote Mark Twain: “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born, and the day you find out why.”  We celebrate our birthdays with a dying intensity as the years pass by until the candles required to add up the years are costing more money than the cake does or family members put that proverbial “one” candle on your cake.  Few contemplate as to the “why” of it all while purposely traveling through the madness of life to find themselves, only to realize years later the journey was of choice and the why becomes a moot point unless you are to succeed a billionaire.

Looking back I’d say that my contemplating why I am here at my age is due to an inherent trial and error process to find balance throughout any and all of my inspiration that guided me.  It all sounds so profound but in reality, age is nothing more than living one day longer than the last.  And old age is living a month past the last, at least that’s the lie I tell myself at my age.  It’s the only thing on earth that goes up and never comes down.  But at certain points of our age we realize a change.  Childhood, adolescence, and adulthood were no-brainers but the middle age/old age thing seems to be a constant blurry grey area.

So where did/does middle age end and old age begin?  I asked myself that question once and the “How young can a person die of old age” or “how old do you have to be to die of old age” questions come to mind.  To me, middle age ended when I could no longer convince myself that I felt better in the morning than I did the night before.  That, and the rockstars and actors I loved in my hey-day started dropping like flies.  Then one morning as I opened my eyes and said to myself, “Welcome to this hodge-podge unrealistic life of balance.”  I must now accept that my back will go out more than I will, but because I never go anywhere I never have to watch my step.   And being a “glass half full” girl, I’m thinking I can probably make it to a hundred if I give up everything that makes a person want to live to be a hundred.  I can live without sex, but not without my glasses.

En Femme Style

Old age makes us grumpy because of things we couldn’t get done in our time here, mistakes made we can no longer rectify, and pain from having accidents and too much fun in our younger years.  Yes, grumpy, naughty, with a dash of mischievousness to my nineties.  That’s me, girl. And why not, we all want to go out with a bang, RIGHT?  Now since I became a woman through GRS surgery I have found the entire dynamics of life has changed. Decades ago I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off and wished I looked old enough to buy beer.  Now I use makeup to make myself appear younger and use the phrase “running out the trash” as a euphemism.

Being only 60 I feel old age is kind of kewl in regards to what a person can get away with in both verbal and clothing as long as a person adopts the saying, “everything seems better when you decide not to give a rat’s ass”, and by putting a little spin on it, like answering the insurance salesman “You want to sell life insurance to a person who doesn’t even buy green bananas, WHY?   I found that people actually leave me alone when I react this way.  The other day I got carded at the liquor store, so I simply handed him my old Blockbuster video card – “game point.”

It seems that as we pass into old age a new purpose is bestowed upon us.  As we stop caring so much about the way we look or speak simply in that we lose the gull to lie.  We are now as in your face as can be, honest, and have clean underwear on, exactly the way our parents taught us to be.  So what’s the problem here?  I’m living my new purpose now.  Ok, I forgot what that purpose is exactly but if ya give me a minute I’ll come up with something shortly.

I now go to the mall to simply talk to myself and when they look at me weird, I pretend to remove the invisible earbud from my ear and say to them “I’m on the phone here.”  I actually treat old age as though I took a psychological course in college I don’t remember taking.  I seem to be really good at this stuff now in my 60’s (all things considered).  Also, I have come to the strange reality that I never ponder the end anymore either.  Come to think of it, if what’s happening to my body now from motocross and car accidents from my past is going to multiply and/or get worse, I don’t want my mind anywhere near my body at the end of it all ladies.  It’s not that I’m not afraid of dying, I simply don’t wanna be around when it happens.

In and throughout my life I was asked if I could have one wish, what would it be.  My answer never differed from the first time I said it till now.  My wish would be to go through life again, with the knowledge I now possess.  I realized at an early age that information, studies, and age experience were priceless in their own respective parts they play in success, fun, safety, even humor.  I now realize that if we all were born with consecutive memories, we probably would’ve blown our planet up by now so it may be a good thing we’re born broke, hungry, naked and stupid.

I don’t see why most people slow down when they get old.  We do need to be a bit more careful in life’s choices but there is an entire world unexplored out there and in some instances, one doesn’t even have to leave their own city to explore its riches.  I choose to have sarcastic fun.  I find that if we toss some educational input to the sarcasm it becomes both funny and real.  Mix it up girls!!  Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative, so don’t allow a bit of old age to put a damper on your smiles and giggles and never be a prisoner of your past.  Treat it as a lesson, not a life sentence and most of all, have fun growing old.

Tia

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1 Comment
  1. ' class='avatar avatar-100 photo' height='100' width='100' />
    Angelina Hanousek 3 weeks ago

    Thank you so much, this is starting to get my wheels spinning in a good way, I’ve recently lost my way through life and had some trouble recently. I’m finding this to be true in most cases and at the same time funny and not so much. It’s making me reflect my past experiences and I hope I make better choices in the future
    Sincerely, Angelina Hanousek

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