With the holidays far behind us, I want to recount a gift exchange story; it’s never a bad time to get a holiday gift is the one that we should practice all year long.
I attended my wife’s office party/meal recently where the table set up formed a large rectangle. Seventeen board members and many of the staff employed by the company were all in attendance. Only a handful of them, that I am aware, fully know about Char. We arrived fashionable late due to icy roads; well, we were the last couple to arrive…oops. As we entered the golf and country club, where the dinner was held, every eye in the room turned toward us.
I had chosen to leave my prosthetic breasts at home for the evening simply because this was a very unfamiliar environment for me. I did, however, wear eye shadow and mascara, sparkly dangling earrings, the beautiful aqua color sketcher sneakers my wife gifted me, and skinny jeans with and a cute ¾ sleeve T top. The side bang curled around my face and my high pony tail were complimented by the amazing scent of the Dolche’ & Gabbana perfume. I felt so pretty.
Walking in, I instantly felt my pulse quicken. My heart pounded in my ears and for a moment I wanted nothing more than to turn and bolt for the door, as if my head was on fire. From out of an adjacent room, a lady came rushing over to us, throwing out her arms for hugs; “Oh I’m sooo grateful you’re here,” she whispered, “this place sooo needs you guys,” and that’s when the gift exchange began.
I don’t mean the physical stuff; I mean the incredible gift the unaware folks were giving me to rise above the shame, and in return, the amazing gift I was offering to each of them to practice the skill of non-judgement, acceptance, and more.
So often Beautiful, Amazing souls like you and I are carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt in our back pack for a lifetime, simply because of who we are and how we choose to decorate our bodies.
I realized one profound shift in perception, from within that moment, which changed everything for me that evening and beyond.
I made the shift in perception by changing my assumptions. Instead of imagining the others as possible judgmental mockers, haters, or even just unaware, I chose to see them as students and teachers.
As “teachers” they afforded me the opportunity to stand confident and tall and to practice the Life Skill of living independently of the good opinion of others. As a student, I accepted the opportunity to practice this skill, and with a few deep breaths, I proceeded to do just that, practice.
As a teacher, I was offering my “students” the opportunity to meet face-to-face, close-up and personal, with an intelligent, non-threatening, very respectfully dressed crossdresser/trans person, whose only intention was to share kindness, humor, and acceptance.
As the evening moved forward, a great many of the people came over and crouched beside my chair to chat. The conversations were both amazing and wonderful!
The following week, I attended the Christmas supper of the company I work with. This time, I wore my breasts forms with the same outfit I’d worn at my wife’s function, and once again I practiced exchanging gifts. The vast majority in attendance appreciated the gift while only a few did not see the gift.
My playpen got bigger as I offered the gift of insight and the opportunity for them to experience me both authentically and genuine.
However you may celebrate, if you celebrate at all, giving the gift of allowing the world to see you and experience you in all your amazing beauty is the most wonderful gift each of us has to give, and not something to feel ashamed of.
I Am practicing…
The first step is to give that gift to ourselves ladies and silence that inner-critic by showing it that we are simply exchanging gifts with one another; there’s no victim in that. In fact, it feels amazingly empowering as I watch my own playpen get bigger and bigger. I know for certain that yours can too as you practice living independently of the good opinion of others and shift your perception to the gift exchange.
It’s been working very well for me thus far. I offer this gift to each of you and a Thaaaank-you to each of you who has given me this opportunity to share stories like this one with you; you’re a part of my family.
I wish you all every wonderful thing you can imagine; All-Ways…