The Little Things…

One of the biggest challenges facing a person of Trans experience is coming out to one’s family. For a person of Mexican heritage, it’s even harder due to the deeply rooted, toxic transphobia based on the religious and cultural traditions brought in by the European conquerors. I learned this firsthand through my own experiences, in having lost nearly all my Spanish-speaking clientele, and many friends when I informed the world about my intersexuality, and as I began to present en femme.

Fortunately, my family was generally accepting of me as my authentic self. Yet, they were still a bit reserved about my new name, my pronouns, and my genderfluid fashion style. I didn’t push the issue, given that I was happy not to be disowned by them. After all, I can understand how hard it is for them to see me as female after decades of me being one of the alpha males in the family. Given that I was born without a middle name, I’ve taken the name Margaux, and in my own world in Los Angeles, I haven’t used my first name in years. My kids, grandson, nieces, and nephews were all quick to adapt to the new pronoun and call me ‘G’ instead of Gilberto. The adults, not so much.

This Christmas eve, the matriarch of my family, my mom, dropped a huge surprise on me. Having always been “Mama’s Boy” I wasn’t sure she’d ever acknowledge my new name. When I opened my stocking and presents with the rest of the family, I found a number of gifts labeled Margaux, all in mom’s handwriting. Even though she still uses the anglicized version of my first name and refers to me by male pronouns, this simple fact of acknowledging my new middle name was the most special gift I could have ever received. Subtle and unspoken, there was a small box with my new name containing a gift card for Ulta. It is one of the most memorable gifts she’s ever given me.

En Femme Style

I’m grateful and blessed to know my familia are gradually accepting me for who I really am, and this experience gives me renewed hope and energy for the uncertain year(s) to come. I’m also reminded that it’s the subtle, little things that often matter the most on this journey.

Hoping you all a 2022 filled with Love, Light, and many “little things” that mean a lot…



More Articles by Mx. Margaux the Faery Goth-Mother

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    The following two tabs change content below. might say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...

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    Courtney Leshae
    Courtney Leshae(@courtneyleshae)
    9 months ago

    The greatest Christmas present I ever received from my wife was my first pair of silicone breast forms after I came out to her. That was 21 years ago. I still have them. She helped shape me into the woman I am today. He words to me me were ” If your going to do this. You’re going to look the part”. She taught me how to shop, appy makeup, walk, talk, everything a woman needs to know. We still go shopping together and she asks my opinion and still gives me advice. Now every once in a while she… Read more »

    Melissa Cole
    Melissa Cole(@melissalvgirl)
    9 months ago

    Hi Girls I just joined

    10 months ago

    proof there is always hope Thank you

    Abby Scott
    Abby Scott(@simonkevin)
    10 months ago

    At Christmas my wife gave me a gift “to Abby” and another to “AWS” (Abby Willow Scott). She doesn’t call me that name nor use femme pronouns but it meant so much. And she bought me gift cards to buy dresses, etc. It made my Christmas. 🤗🙆‍♀️

    JAKe Hatmacher
    JAKe Hatmacher(@middleground)
    10 months ago

    Hello, Margaux and everyone else, I came out to my adult kids over this past year. My boys said to me I should do what I want to do. My daughter had some difficulty accepting the news and I’m aware it’s hard for her to picture anything but her male father. My wife has known for some time now. This was the first Christmas in which my nuclear family knew, and I took the opportunity to list beauty products on my Amazon wish list. I was elated when I received many of them on Christmas Day! But I sensed the… Read more »

    Gisela Claudine
    Gisela Claudine(@firefly)
    10 months ago

    Thanks for your writing, Margaux. It has moved me to the core. Growing up in a transphobic environment is one of the most difficult experiences there is; but in the end you decide if you will try to be a hero or a martyr. As a Latin American transgender woman, I have experienced it firsthand despite the fact that I have been very reserved in this regard; but one feels and suffers the reactions with their peers. My closest family is not very happy with this issue; But we run the party in peace for the moment. I know and… Read more »

    Last edited 10 months ago by Gisela Claudine
    Miss Cloé
    Active Member
    Miss Cloé(@cloe-anne-webb)
    10 months ago

    What a special day indeed, Margaux. A family who truly understands love eventually comes around. Mom deserves a hug from all of us

    Ms. Tia Tracy
    Active Member
    Ms. Tia Tracy(@tia4751)
    10 months ago

    Hello Margaux and thank you for this touching and very true article. As I have learned throughout my transition it really is the little things that warm my heart. For every 10 people that refer to me as sir, it’s when that one person takes the time to go the extra couple of inches to address me as I appear that makes me smile. This message is so needed in this day and age for all to head and enjoy. # I too am a dreamer but I now know I’m not the only one. Huggz Tia

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