One of the biggest challenges facing a person of Trans experience is coming out to one’s family. For a person of Mexican heritage, it’s even harder due to the deeply rooted, toxic transphobia based on the religious and cultural traditions brought in by the European conquerors. I learned this firsthand through my own experiences, in having lost nearly all my Spanish-speaking clientele, and many friends when I informed the world about my intersexuality, and as I began to present en femme.
Fortunately, my family was generally accepting of me as my authentic self. Yet, they were still a bit reserved about my new name, my pronouns, and my genderfluid fashion style. I didn’t push the issue, given that I was happy not to be disowned by them. After all, I can understand how hard it is for them to see me as female after decades of me being one of the alpha males in the family. Given that I was born without a middle name, I’ve taken the name Margaux, and in my own world in Los Angeles, I haven’t used my first name in years. My kids, grandson, nieces, and nephews were all quick to adapt to the new pronoun and call me ‘G’ instead of Gilberto. The adults, not so much.
This Christmas eve, the matriarch of my family, my mom, dropped a huge surprise on me. Having always been “Mama’s Boy” I wasn’t sure she’d ever acknowledge my new name. When I opened my stocking and presents with the rest of the family, I found a number of gifts labeled Margaux, all in mom’s handwriting. Even though she still uses the anglicized version of my first name and refers to me by male pronouns, this simple fact of acknowledging my new middle name was the most special gift I could have ever received. Subtle and unspoken, there was a small box with my new name containing a gift card for Ulta. It is one of the most memorable gifts she’s ever given me.
I’m grateful and blessed to know my familia are gradually accepting me for who I really am, and this experience gives me renewed hope and energy for the uncertain year(s) to come. I’m also reminded that it’s the subtle, little things that often matter the most on this journey.
Hoping you all a 2022 filled with Love, Light, and many “little things” that mean a lot…