I originally posted this on another social media site on 3/31/19 and edited names as they are not members of this site.
In ’79 my brother took me to my first ever concert to see Rush on their Permanent Waves tour. I wasn’t yet 14, but the image on the album’s cover spoke volumes to me then, and lately it has come to reflect reality. At the time, I was already aware of an incongruence building within my life, though it would be another fifteen years before I came to understood fully who I am. Yet another twenty-one years would pass before I did anything meaningful about it. Now, amidst the turmoil of my eighth, seven year span of life, I can appreciate the true power embodied in that image and how close to my reality it truly comes.
As I began to pen this, what I didn’t know was that I wasn’t just writing this for myself. Once again I was reminded of my role in this world. (For you Capn’ Di)
I had already started preparing it when the news of a trans friend and sorority sister’s plight, after disastrous complications from multiple transition related surgeries, was unfolding. I was torn as to whether or not post it as this is yet an unfinished story, but one I wanted to tell. Her story isn’t done and won’t be for a sometime, as her sweet fiancé, who is also trans, will I’m sure carry her candle for years to come. In fact their friends and sisters will be helping to shine that light. It is for all of you that I chose to go ahead and share.
In each of us is an inherent power to overcome the trials and tribulations of our lives. For many of us late-in-lifers, who suppressed/repressed ourselves, the waves that test us have been kept bottled up, to be unleashed in a torrent that may seem unbearable. For myself, I found a path through spirituality that let me pace and overcome many of the waves at a rate that I could handle. Some find the pace of perseverance has to span years in order to take a step of change. For others, the inner need to be complete is overwhelming and pacing is in and of itself a stumbling block.
Knowing your pace is a key to being at peace within yourself. Being brothers and sisters to each other, the family that supports each other, regardless of the personal choices each of us makes can enable us with the courage that we never knew we could muster; courage to change, and the courage to stand fast; courage to wait, and courage to press on. We can find the courage to endure when the pace changes for a season of our lives, and the courage to find our individual pace and to honor it as well in other’s journeys.
The presence of waves in our lives is permanent. How we respond to the pounding of waves upon our personal shore is our choice. Be the grace and beauty of the woman who moves forward for the world to see as the waves of life, big and small, beat around you. Don’t be afraid to lean on your friends when you just can’t seem to find that strength on your own and know that peace is its own destination.
To see a picture of the album cover: https://www.rush.com/albums/permanent-waves/