You will see many here speak of a Journey, and that is exactly what it is. It isn’t quick and it isn’t easy and all we can do is the best that we can.
Regarding the concept of being transgender, some get it and some will eventually get it, but some never will. I guess that is to be expected that some cannot find it within themselves to go the distance; sad, but that is the reality. I do hope that your situation will eventually change, but that should have no bearing on your progress. Once you have started, it is important to keep moving. As always, maintaining motion is much easier than creating motion.
So, glad that you discovered us and I hope that being here will be a good experience for you…