Reply To: Advice for Supporting My Partner

#101721

Hello all!

My partner recently came out as trans (MTF). I want to be as supportive as I possibly can be but I don’t want to make her feel like I’m being intrusive.

I would truly appreciate any advice you could give me on helping her through the beginning phases of her transition.

I am also just unsure of what questions are appropriate to ask her as this is such a recent discovery.

Thank you in advance!

Hey Sarah my wife told me I should maybe since I am on the other side of what you are going thru. I came out to my wife and it was so hard. This is the woman I love the woman who made me a better person, the woman who gave up her family and friends to move across the country to be with me. Maybe oneday one of us will share our story on here.  This is about you and your partner so please don’t feel like I am trying to take the spotlight, I just wanted you to know a little bit about where I am coming from.

 

The biggest thing for you to remember is your partner is the same person, and I really hope you are the same person they fell in love with and with your post I think you are. Asking a question even if you say it in the wrong way (meaning the term I HATE with the wrong words) is better than not asking something you want or need to know. I am a strange type person to me the only stupid question is an unasked question.

 

If your partner is anything like me just be there for them be willing to tell them every hour of every day that you are okay with everything (if you really are)  How my wife has not gone crazy with me asking her everyday for two months and me breaking down crying every time she called me baby girl or her girl, I don’t know. I mean I came out in December of last year and I still ask her that no matter how many times we go to Walmart and pick out nailpolish and makeup.  So really what I am trying to say is you just be you, and get ready for needing more makeup space and closet space.  If you really want free yourself of worry sit down with your partner and say hey look I need us to be open and honest but I need you to know if I ask a question I am not trying to attack you shame you or hurt you, so if I use the (here’s that term again) wrong words please forgive me and tell me.

That is really the only way in my mind your partner has chosen you to share their deepest darkest I will take this to my grave secret with you, out of love, so if you love them and they love you you have no problems, you can’t over come.

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