Hello Kevin. That’s actually my middle name. Not many people know about me either. My immediate family and two friends who are very close. And they are guys. I could tell by their voices when I called them and talked that they were quite taken aback. Anyway, I sometimes wear a nightie or a nice duster when I’m with my wife and we’re just going to be sleeping. It’s a strange situation sometimes and I know she is struggling with it. She said she is not ready to go out in public with me in my female clothes.
She is getting some counseling as am I. I just came out to myself around the end of September and then to her September 30 and then to my children two or three days after that as well as my sister. And my sister-in-law who I’ve known so long that I consider her a sister. My brother died many years ago. She was really cool about it and one of my daughters was two. I took my sister and them a little while to adjust and I think there’s still some adjusting going on. I live with my parents most of the time because they’re very old and they just need my help so there is no wearing women’s clothes around the house. I really actually prefer the women’s clothes I have vs and my male clothes. I wear them but less and less if I can avoid it.
My name is Abby and on Sundays I put on a nice dress, some stockings, a pair of women’s black shoes which I adore and some women’s undergarments. I really love to be dressed in my clothes, my feminine clothes, my Abby clothes.
I absolutely love wearing long dresses and I think that if I could ever come out completely I would wear long dresses most of the time. I also got some white, lace top frilly socks to wear and I love how they look on me. I might wear them with the dress I’m going to wear tomorrow to church. The church is way across town so I’m not too worried about being seen by my parents’ friends.
I have a significant bald spot on the top of my head. My hair is getting pretty long but it doesn’t change that fact. So what I do whenever I go out is wear a hat of some kind. Sometimes a baseball cap depending on what I’m wearing, sometimes a nice straw light colored sun hat, and I just got a new black hat with a wide brim and I can’t wait to wear it with the black and white ankle length dress I’m going to wear to church tomorrow. Being a woman (I wish we didn’t have to put trans or transgender in front of that – I simply think of myself as a woman) I can wear a hat in church.
I don’t know really how much I’ve been accepted at church. The first time I went to this church I was dressed as Abby. During the time where people in the pews turn and greet each other and shake hands and all that sort of stuff, two people turned away from me when I began to put my hand out to shake. That was a bit of a shock and a discouragement. Last week, though some of the ladies in the congregation greeted me and were nice to me and shook my hand during that time. So I guess, progress!
Most Sundays I go to the mall and the department stores there and look for clothes and shoes and hats and so on. There’s a nice lady in one of the department stores and the first time I told her that my name is Abby. BTW, I chose Willow for my middle name. My fave tree. Anyway, everytime I’ve gone in there since then if she sees me she says Abby in such a pleasant bubbly way. It always makes me feel so good. One time she and another clerk at the register told me my dress was beautiful and then they told me I looked beautiful. I want to look beautiful or pretty but I don’t really think I really do. After all I’m a guy. But I’ll take their word for it. I believe they were sincere and I felt so happy.
A couple of weeks ago I went to the makeup counter at one of the department stores and a very nice young woman there helped me out and showed me a few beginner things about makeup and helped me decide on what to buy. She gave me some foundation which helps to cover up the dark hair above my lip because although my beard is gray before I shaved it off the upper lip hair is dark and there’s just a little shadow. I’ve bought some lipstick but so far I have not been able to do a very good job with it.
Anyway I just wanted to share a few things because I think we can connect on some of these things as can others here. And perhaps you have other things that you have not mentioned to us that connect with me or others and that would be wonderful and anytime you want to ask me or tell me anything or ask me to share something I hope you will do that because we’re all in this together and we can always use each other’s help from time to time.
Blessings to you,