Glad you found us! After you have been here for a while, you’ll see that members span the spectrum from those who have transitioned some time ago to those who are questioning their gender identity. There’s a wealth of information as you will see.
From your Profile page it sounds like your situation is a bit difficult. Many have been helped by seeing a therapist on a continuing basis to help sort of how to work through next steps. I don’t know how your medical system works, but is this a possibility? Also, are there any support groups in your area? It isn’t a substitute for a therapist, but it can help.
If you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
Also, it would be great if you completed your Profile page as it really helps others to understand your situation better. It will always be readily accessible and you can update it at any time.