Reply To: What age did you know you were transgender?


Hi Toni… Lukcia again,

I can’t tell you I followed my own advice, but I wish I did.

I presented myself to my father once, and he took me outside and threatened to kill me if I was queer.

I stayed away from him from then on, that was 1978, and I never talked to him again.  I never tried to slowly have him see me.  He died in 2008 and I didn’t attend his funeral.

I came out to my older brother Jim in 1995.  He acted tolerant, but told the family of the pervert.

Over the years I confided my desire to be a girl with very few, and lost almost every friend I had.  I had to sit down and analyze why they all immediately ran from me.  I learned that they were never my friends, we shared the bullshit of “man-dom”.  Stupid shit we all knew we didn’t actually believe in.  Our intimacy was the “Too Frequent” high-fives.

I waited so long to let those I thought were my friends to know about me slowly, respectfully; what a waste of time.

Go see your doctor, come out fully to your doctor.  Seek psychological advice from an actual psychologist.  Then come out: come out modestly, tastefully: but come out.  Your true friends will stick by you, your false friend will depart quickly.

Don’t be afraid, don’t go to cowboy bars at Texas A&M, plan on watching as your long established social circle disintegrates.  Take your time, let people come to you and express support, let a new social circle surround you with truth and love instead of bullshit and misogyny.

It will happen.  Who you are was always there, a curtain of the girl to be.  Many already knew, more only suspected, a few that knew you truly were quietly waiting.

Don’t make my mistake and crush the girl inside until they couldn’t hurt me any more.  I am 68, retired, safe, but really wish I had courage years ago.



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